Keeping a Place Warm
picture this club entry15 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
I like the way you left it open at the end...never committing
to whether it was about abandonment, or foul play that left
this child fatherless. I also like the way you expressed the
"hope" that remains...as I suspect no child is truly capable
of understanding exactly what goes on in the world of adults,
or even the difference between death and disappearance of
a parent.
Heartbreakingly told.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
I like the way you left it open at the end...never committing
to whether it was about abandonment, or foul play that left
this child fatherless. I also like the way you expressed the
"hope" that remains...as I suspect no child is truly capable
of understanding exactly what goes on in the world of adults,
or even the difference between death and disappearance of
a parent.
Heartbreakingly told.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
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Thanks for the thorough review. I appreciate all the stars.
dragonpoet
Comment from DR DIP
"We've look al the places you've been"
We've looked at the places you've been
Hoping (to) match your hand's form
After reading your author's notes I reread the poem and really appreciated it even more I like the hand on the window theme, it works well.
dip
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
"We've look al the places you've been"
We've looked at the places you've been
Hoping (to) match your hand's form
After reading your author's notes I reread the poem and really appreciated it even more I like the hand on the window theme, it works well.
dip
Comment Written 12-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Thanks for reading, reviewing and providing editing help; I made the changes. I am glad you liked the theme.
Joan
Comment from Poetic Friend
Wow, Joan, this poem led me to tears. It pulls hard at my heartstrings.
You are very intuitive to write from another's perspective, especially a young child. Like you, I often write for others' perspectives, and I do believe a young child would feel as you described in your well-written poem.
Thank you for sharing such an emotional poem.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
Wow, Joan, this poem led me to tears. It pulls hard at my heartstrings.
You are very intuitive to write from another's perspective, especially a young child. Like you, I often write for others' perspectives, and I do believe a young child would feel as you described in your well-written poem.
Thank you for sharing such an emotional poem.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Thanks for the kind words and generous rating. I am glad you thought I caught a child's reaction
to this sad event.
Joan
Comment from smileycloud
you have done very well to portray a young child's feelings in the situation you described and you have married that with the pictured image very well indeed with your poem
your 2nd last stanza is so emtional;- and also the rest but that one pricks at my heart
it is good to be in a club and get to read all the contributions from the members
blessings
have a smiley day
Lorraine
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reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
you have done very well to portray a young child's feelings in the situation you described and you have married that with the pictured image very well indeed with your poem
your 2nd last stanza is so emtional;- and also the rest but that one pricks at my heart
it is good to be in a club and get to read all the contributions from the members
blessings
have a smiley day
Lorraine
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thanks for the thorough review and high rating. I am glad you thought the poem matched the picture weill.
Joan
Comment from Paul Bownas
A poem that leaves a question; did he come back, and what happened to him? I thought the flow in the third verse didn't quite come out right, and wondered if there was a way you could change the last line? Because apart from that, I thought it pretty good.
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reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
A poem that leaves a question; did he come back, and what happened to him? I thought the flow in the third verse didn't quite come out right, and wondered if there was a way you could change the last line? Because apart from that, I thought it pretty good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thanks for the review. I thought the fact that they are still praying made it clear he was still missing.
I will check the flow of the third stanza.
dragonpoet
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Thank you and good luck.