My heart is on ice.
An essence poem, see footnote.11 total reviews
Comment from Hitcher
Essence poems are fun to write, I can see you have the two end rhymes asked for-(felt and melt) but i don't see the internal rhyme friend. I still enjoyed your poem, just thought I should point that out. Good luck!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
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Essence poems are fun to write, I can see you have the two end rhymes asked for-(felt and melt) but i don't see the internal rhyme friend. I still enjoyed your poem, just thought I should point that out. Good luck!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your nice review, Ine. Have a lovely and blessed Sunday.
Comment from Liberty Justice
Oh what an awesome photo of a heart on ice. I believe this picture symbolizes how someone's heart has turned cold toward a lover, and no longer feels warmth in the heart for this person. NICE! liberty justice
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Oh what an awesome photo of a heart on ice. I believe this picture symbolizes how someone's heart has turned cold toward a lover, and no longer feels warmth in the heart for this person. NICE! liberty justice
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great wintery week.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
This is excellent finding the perfect and true essence of your words, like a distilled fragrance this is utterly beautiful and quite enchanting. well done this was very enjoyable and good luck in the competition xx kind regards Meia
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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This is excellent finding the perfect and true essence of your words, like a distilled fragrance this is utterly beautiful and quite enchanting. well done this was very enjoyable and good luck in the competition xx kind regards Meia
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a good and blessed Sunday.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I'll second the emotions you've expressed here in your Essence Poem Contest entry, Anonymous Poet.
The guy who said, and I quote:
" 'Tis better to have loved and lost
than to have never loved at all" ... is full of it.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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I'll second the emotions you've expressed here in your Essence Poem Contest entry, Anonymous Poet.
The guy who said, and I quote:
" 'Tis better to have loved and lost
than to have never loved at all" ... is full of it.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a good and blessed Sunday.
Comment from Pantygynt
Internal rhyme, or middle rhyme, is rhyme that occurs within a single line of verse, or between internal phrases across multiple lines. By contrast, rhyme between line endings is known as end rhyme. While your couplet has internal rhyme, although it is of a different type of from that shown in the example, it does not have any end rhyme.
As it is entered for a contest it would be disqualified as it stands for non compliance. That is the reason for the lower grading. Bring it into compliance and let me know, and I will be happy to reassess.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Internal rhyme, or middle rhyme, is rhyme that occurs within a single line of verse, or between internal phrases across multiple lines. By contrast, rhyme between line endings is known as end rhyme. While your couplet has internal rhyme, although it is of a different type of from that shown in the example, it does not have any end rhyme.
As it is entered for a contest it would be disqualified as it stands for non compliance. That is the reason for the lower grading. Bring it into compliance and let me know, and I will be happy to reassess.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed Sunday.
Comment from nbonner
A heart only needs a little heat to keep it warm and pumping. I like the meaning this poem gives. Nice write. Thank you for sharing and best wishes in the contest, NB
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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A heart only needs a little heat to keep it warm and pumping. I like the meaning this poem gives. Nice write. Thank you for sharing and best wishes in the contest, NB
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed Sunday.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is an interesting poem for the 'Essence' writing prompt.
The picture is vivid and a good match for the poem.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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This is an interesting poem for the 'Essence' writing prompt.
The picture is vivid and a good match for the poem.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed Sunday.
Comment from catch22
Hello Poet, I think this is a clever idea for a poem, but I don't think you followed the form correctly. There should be an end rhyme between the first and second lines--or so the example in the prompt says. Also, the internal rhyme of heat and meat sounds forced to me. I think it's a stretch with the heart and temperature imagery. If you revise, I would gladly reread and rerate. Otherwise, best in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Hello Poet, I think this is a clever idea for a poem, but I don't think you followed the form correctly. There should be an end rhyme between the first and second lines--or so the example in the prompt says. Also, the internal rhyme of heat and meat sounds forced to me. I think it's a stretch with the heart and temperature imagery. If you revise, I would gladly reread and rerate. Otherwise, best in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed Sunday.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written essence poem. A heart that gets cold is not necessarily old it only needs a little heat from another human being with fresh meat to warm it up again.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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A very well-written essence poem. A heart that gets cold is not necessarily old it only needs a little heat from another human being with fresh meat to warm it up again.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed Sunday.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Since I am not entirely familiar with all the possible allowed nuances of this form I am going to err on the side of the writer and grant the five. My concern is related to the end rhyme requirement. You have incorporated an internal / end rhyme combination unique to each line. The example shows the end and internal rhyme as linking lines one and two together as in "moonlit / starlit" (internal) and "ridge / bridge" (end). You may not have executed this properly in the eyes of the CEC but I hope I'm wrong. All the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Since I am not entirely familiar with all the possible allowed nuances of this form I am going to err on the side of the writer and grant the five. My concern is related to the end rhyme requirement. You have incorporated an internal / end rhyme combination unique to each line. The example shows the end and internal rhyme as linking lines one and two together as in "moonlit / starlit" (internal) and "ridge / bridge" (end). You may not have executed this properly in the eyes of the CEC but I hope I'm wrong. All the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed Sunday. I really don't know either.
