Reviews from

World As I See It 7

Viewing comments for Chapter 57 "A Hero's Pledge"
events

44 total reviews 
Comment from ronnie k
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Hey Barb, miss you, this post with artwork that gives such truth too, A picture speaks a thousand works, I find that maybe this gem has a special place in your heart but with are without the personal reference I loved it.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
    It does indeed, I lost because of a war and it still hurts. Thank you so much dear friend
Comment from Bill O'Bier
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A hero is somebody who is selfless, who is generous in spirit, who just tries to give back as much as possible and help people. A hero to me is someone who saves people and who really deeply cares. Thanks fo your wonderful tribute.
Bill~

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
    YOu are so right and that is exactly what he is. Thank you so very much
Comment from Hitcher
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They would and some do so many times over. I think you have offered up a very strong entry for the 5-7-5 contest friend. well done and good luck to you!

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
    Thank you so much for the supportive review. Heroes come in all walks of life.
Comment from Sis Cat
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A fine 5-7-5 poem on the heroism not only of soldiers but of first responders who protect their families and others. Poem could also represent parents protecting their families. Poem is well timed for Pearl Harbor Day with its message of love and courage.

In terms of flow, when I read your closing line "I would do again," I could not help but to think of Britney Spears song "Oops, I Did It Again." Missing the pronoun "it", the last line would read smoother with its insertion and with the contraction of "would do" in order to maintain syllable count. I suggest "I'd do it again," because it reads smoother and as a complete idea. "It" is a beautiful word when well placed. I think your last line would benefit from it.

Thank you for sharing your glowing tribute to soldiers. I wish you contest success.

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
    YOu are so right it did make it flow better. Thank you for catching that and the great rievew
Comment from nancyrabbrose
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This is an outstanding poem. It speaks in a powerful way what our men and women go through to protect us. The make the metaphor, and perhaps sometimes realistic use of blood, is remarkable. Well done.

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
    I am honored and I thank you so much for the great rievew
Comment from rama devi
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Simple yet impacting. People have no idea what these heroes go through. Your poem echoes between the lines by voicing the direct POV and attitude. Well done. Finely presented. Character is crucial!

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    I am honored and thank you so very much.
reply by rama devi on 08-Dec-2017
    :-)))
Comment from Lucian Carter
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Simple, yet excellent. An interesting take on heroism. I suppose true heroes would repeat an act of true heroism if it came to it.

I'm just not sold on the last line. I understand you have a rigid syllable count but "I would do again" is a bit awkward. You could try "Would do it again" of perhaps "And would do again"?

A minor quibble with a great poem.

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    I had and then changed it to make more personal but I like and. Thank you so much for taking time to read and advise.
Comment from Kerry Robinson
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This is a terrific 5-7-5 poem, Barb. Very patriotic and heartfelt. Good luck to you.
~Kerry

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    thank you so much for the encouraging reivew
reply by Kerry Robinson on 11-Dec-2017
    You're very welcome.
Comment from MSJVClarke
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I find this to be a great 5-7-5 poem. Your syllable count is correct and your words are strong. It expresses a great love in a simple but very strong fashion. Well done!

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    I am honored and I thank you so very much
reply by MSJVClarke on 08-Dec-2017
    Welcome!
Comment from Ulla
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I like your wee 5-7-5 where you pay tribute to all serving people. They don't even think about it, and they wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    I am honored and I thank you so much for the understanding review