Reviews from

Hostage

Addictive cycles...

30 total reviews 
Comment from B.B. Rose
Excellent
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About twenty minutes ago I signed up to go through the horrible naughty bad warning side where you have to be over 18 to read what lurks ahead. It was a sexy, elegant tribute to menage a trois. This probably should have had a similar...then again, you wouldn't have reached "recognized" standing. Maybe I should go back and tell that poet to change the warning for more readership.
As for your poem, I guess it just struck me weird that such a graphic poem used rhyme. You could probably drop Guided to pussy like a mouse to a cubby
a relentless zombie with a chubby... as it diminshes the power of the previous stanza, repeats pussy; just wasn't necessary as you had established the theme so powerfully already.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2017

Comment from Thomas Bowling
Needs Improvement
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After reading the first stanza of our poem I thought about skipping it. I'm sorry I didn't. it's sic and obviously comes from a sick mind. It's sad that you wanted to share this.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2017

Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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I think I see where this is coming from. Not only is it sexual addiction but it;s also sexual abuse which so often takes place in prisons. A tough read indeed. All best. Ulla:)

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2017

Comment from Rasmine
Poor
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This is total smut. I cannot seriously see this as any kind of poetry that holds any merit. Maybe you could take a class in poetry and learn how to not talk like this or write like this. Dang, you could do better! The last few stanzas are a little better than the beginning.
Take care

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 Comment Written 09-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
    Thanks for the feedback...sorry you found it offensive...
reply by Rasmine on 10-Dec-2017
    That's okay, but you could find more poetic language then slang words for sex. Good luck.
Comment from ronnie k
Excellent
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I found this hard to read because of the x rating but after dropping my feeling and remembering that as poets we have the freedom too explore all avenues and you took a great effort and build a great piece of poetry.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2017

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
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It takes a brave and spirited writer to tackle such a topic with such zeal and candor. I read this as being a hostage to one's own sexual addictions rather than being held and abused by an outside force. Either way it works without losing any of its powerful impact. Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
    Thanks...nailed it...interesting how you can feel like you are writing such a specific piece yet get such varied interpretations...I guess that's what makes it poetry...
Comment from Bill O'Bier
Excellent
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I think we tend to think of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal - but I see the erotic as the deepest life force, a force which moves us toward living in a fundamental way. Thanks for sharing your poem.
Bill~

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
    GreAt feedback...makes me ponder...Thanks...
Comment from Sis Cat
Excellent
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Here, I see a person not as being a hostage to kidnappers, but being a hostage to sexual addiction. The imagery is one of homoerotic gay baths with glory holes or furtive man-on-man sex in prisons:

Trapped in a maze of the addict mind
a solitary pokey of the untime...

I love how you left "untime" incomplete for the reader to add his own interpretation.

Only orgasms break the spell of this mesmerism:

Only broken
by magic release
lifting spell
and blessed piece...

Only to sink back in it again:

Cycle to cycle
it never ends
two headed bliss
followed by amends...

Your poem improves on the second read as I get into the language and the story you are telling about "a relentless zombie with a chubby..."

This is provocative, fresh work. You do not water down the sexual content. You tell it like it is for some addicted to eternal, two-headed bliss.

Thank you for sharing and for daring. I am thrilled that I read your piece because I decided not to post a sexual content warning on my upcoming poem which is erotic but not explicit. nevertheless, I am glad you went there because I seldom read writing this direct on FanStory.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
    Thanks a lot for your review...I think you are right on with your comments!
reply by Sis Cat on 09-Dec-2017
    Thank you. My pleasure.

    Andre
Comment from twotock
Excellent
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I got to read it. I ca say no more than that. You have bin recognised. This is the most important ting. U will be recognised agin. Bootiful. Donte stoppp!Donte stopp!

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
    You know...in a way...I read your response as poetry...ThAnks...
Comment from jusylee72
Excellent
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i wish I could give you a higher rating but this seems to be a poem that as a women I cannot connect to . I did try but instead it just embarassed me the cum and the hard. Sorry You have a right to write it I just don''t get it.

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2017