Lipstick Murders
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Unusual Suspect"Being wronged by her husband, Anna seeks revenge.
8 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Mistydawn
I should of read your mystery script from the beginning
but the way you wrote this chapter I have a good idea of what is going on and find it where I desire to read more
just one question---whose house is Anna in where she
runs to the closet, grabs a wig box off the top shelf. Removing the lid,and finds a tangled brunette wig?
Gert
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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Hello Mistydawn
I should of read your mystery script from the beginning
but the way you wrote this chapter I have a good idea of what is going on and find it where I desire to read more
just one question---whose house is Anna in where she
runs to the closet, grabs a wig box off the top shelf. Removing the lid,and finds a tangled brunette wig?
Gert
Comment Written 06-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review. She does all of that in own apartment. I'll go back and see if I can make that a little clearer.
A brief summary
Anna Marries Brad but finds out he's cheating on her. She tries to leave, he ties her in the basement leaving her to die while he's doing hookers on their kitchen table. She tries to escape again. Brad tries to stop her, she kills him, frames his mistress for the murder. She then goes out dressed up as an old woman pretending to be chased by her dog so people will let her inside. Once in their house, she kills them with a poisons dart. the gun looks like a lipstick holder. She's killed 8 so far, including the one in the car. That leads you up to this chapter.
Now you're caught up. Thanks again for all your support it means a lot to me, take care.
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Thank you for your very clear summary
I will make sure I keep reading your script.
Gert
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I hope you enjoy it.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Well, she's not wearing a mask now. Maybe they won't think anything of her being in a car with a dog. Could be anyone, and they have not seen her face. I hope they don't catch her. This is too much fun. :)
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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Well, she's not wearing a mask now. Maybe they won't think anything of her being in a car with a dog. Could be anyone, and they have not seen her face. I hope they don't catch her. This is too much fun. :)
Comment Written 04-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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Thank you for your great review. It's funny you say that I like Anna so much that I rewrote the script to suit her better. Anna is a conniving little thing, full of deceitful tricks, lol.
Thanks again for all your help and support it means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from apky
This was a great read, Misty.
As I've told you before, you're very good in scriptwriting and come up with complicated plots that would floor me.
You only heed to keep a keen eye on who is saying what or doing what. Minor mishaps.
Will Jeff ask Anna, I ask myself, or will he continue past the car.Can't wait for the next post of this.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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This was a great read, Misty.
As I've told you before, you're very good in scriptwriting and come up with complicated plots that would floor me.
You only heed to keep a keen eye on who is saying what or doing what. Minor mishaps.
Will Jeff ask Anna, I ask myself, or will he continue past the car.Can't wait for the next post of this.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your kind review and encouraging words, they both mean so much to me. I am a little confused by what you meant about keeping a keen eye on who is saying, doing what. Can you please explain so I know what to correct, work on.
Thank you again for all your support, your friendship, take care.
Comment from royowen
I wonder if Jeff will question Anna or will continue past the car. I've missed one or two of your scripts, so I'm guessing that Anna killed the woman in the car, she seems quite reclusive and cynical, so maybe something caused that. Well done, I see you've broken into script writing, a difficult pursuit, but I think you've done well, as I can tell. Good reading, well dine, blessings, Roy
Typo : then drop(s) them on the floor. 2: barking(,) the dog reluctantly...3 fumbles with the keys, then drops(s) them on the floor.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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I wonder if Jeff will question Anna or will continue past the car. I've missed one or two of your scripts, so I'm guessing that Anna killed the woman in the car, she seems quite reclusive and cynical, so maybe something caused that. Well done, I see you've broken into script writing, a difficult pursuit, but I think you've done well, as I can tell. Good reading, well dine, blessings, Roy
Typo : then drop(s) them on the floor. 2: barking(,) the dog reluctantly...3 fumbles with the keys, then drops(s) them on the floor.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your great review I appreciate your continuous support and encouragement.
In a nutshell, Anna Marries Brad but finds out he's cheating on her. She tries to leave, he ties her in the basement leaving her to die while he's doing hookers on their kitchen table. She tries to escape again. Brad tries to stop her, she kills him, frames his mistress for the murder. She then goes out dressed up as an old woman pretending to be chased by her dog so people will let her inside. Once in their house, she kills them with a poisons dart. the gun looks like a lipstick holder. She's killed 8 so far, including the one in the car. That leads you up to this chapter.
Reviews kept saying my books are dialogue, action-heavy sound more like a script so I thought this would be a logical choice, we'll see. I'm still going to pursue book writing, though.
which title is more intriguing to you? Bittersweet Revenge or Debt Collector?
Thanks again for all of your help and support (did good up to the end, darn it, lol) take care.
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Your character seems to have good cause, but I do feel sorry for the female victims, but revenge crazed Anna seems nutty. Heh heh
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Misty
= Great movement of your story.
= I like the dialogue as well.
= Also, your descriptions of the scene/actions is well-written so the reader can follow along.
= Nice job.
=FYI=
1- I found a lot of -that- you could edit out.
2- Also, some actions for one character listed under the incorrect person.
Cheers, J
*** Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! ***
(*>*) A Smile Is A Frown Upside Town (*>*)
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Hi, Misty
= Great movement of your story.
= I like the dialogue as well.
= Also, your descriptions of the scene/actions is well-written so the reader can follow along.
= Nice job.
=FYI=
1- I found a lot of -that- you could edit out.
2- Also, some actions for one character listed under the incorrect person.
Cheers, J
*** Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! ***
(*>*) A Smile Is A Frown Upside Town (*>*)
Comment Written 03-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Thank you for your great review. I'll go back and look at all the that's. Before it was the's must have substituted one for the other. I'll go back and look at the action again.
Thank you again for all your help and support, it means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from Ellie707
The story has me hanging on to the edge of my seat! I want to know what happens!
I'm glad you followed your dreams. Very good writing with a great plot and believable characters.
I would like a little more description what some of the characters look like, but I'm sure that info was given in earlier chapters.
Great job!
Ellie
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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The story has me hanging on to the edge of my seat! I want to know what happens!
I'm glad you followed your dreams. Very good writing with a great plot and believable characters.
I would like a little more description what some of the characters look like, but I'm sure that info was given in earlier chapters.
Great job!
Ellie
Comment Written 03-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for such a kind review. I'm very new to this script writing thing, (this is my very first script) So I'm uncertain how much detail I should go into, what's allowed. So any insight would greatly be appreciated.
Thank you again for such a wonderful review, take care.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This flows well and at a good pace making it an enjoyable read. Your word choices are natural and not at all stuffy or stilted. You ended it at a perfect place to make the viewer want to stay tuned in to see what happens next. Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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This flows well and at a good pace making it an enjoyable read. Your word choices are natural and not at all stuffy or stilted. You ended it at a perfect place to make the viewer want to stay tuned in to see what happens next. Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it
Comment Written 03-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for such a kind review, I am so glad you enjoyed it that means a lot to me. Take care.
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I noticed that you write scripts as well. Is there any advice you can give me. This is my first script and I know that I still have a lot to learn. So any help you can give me will be greatly appreciated. take care.
Comment from Natali Holden
Last time I think I said something about the police not being to where I care about them at all. You did so much better this time. Now I don't know if I want Anna or the police to win this. Tough. I think I'm cheering for both of them. Maybe Anna a little more so. I love your scripts! Can't wait for more!
Natali ;)
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Last time I think I said something about the police not being to where I care about them at all. You did so much better this time. Now I don't know if I want Anna or the police to win this. Tough. I think I'm cheering for both of them. Maybe Anna a little more so. I love your scripts! Can't wait for more!
Natali ;)
Comment Written 03-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Wow, thank you so much for such a fantastic review. and your encouraging words. Showing character's personalities through their speech and actions is a lot harder than writing a descriptive sentence for sure, any advice would greatly be appreciated. as far a not knowing which to root for, lol I was all for the cops winning but now I'm further in the script I'm not so sure. Anna kind of grew on me. Maybe it's because I can relate, being cheated on myself. I'm not condoning what she's doing, but I know how it feels to have a broken heart. Maybe subconsciously I'm using her to get revenge? Have her do something I know I never would?
Thanks again for such a wonderful review, take care.
