Forbidden Love
Erotic poem ( Clean) 89 words16 total reviews
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hello mystery poet. Oh there is nothing quite like the forbidden desire that lingers long after what is appropriate is there? Great entry. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hello mystery poet. Oh there is nothing quite like the forbidden desire that lingers long after what is appropriate is there? Great entry. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hi Kiwi, Thanks for your review yes I suppose this is true. All in my vivid imagination LOL Cheers for you good luck wish
Comment from mermaids
OOOOOOh, Lalala! Excellent use of words that creates a sexy feeling without using
inappropriate language. There is a strong romantic feel to your words that comes through clearly. This is a great entry for the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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OOOOOOh, Lalala! Excellent use of words that creates a sexy feeling without using
inappropriate language. There is a strong romantic feel to your words that comes through clearly. This is a great entry for the contest.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hi mermaids LOL. Thanks for you great review all my vivid imagination and your response is heartwarming Many Cheers for reading
Comment from RodG
I think you capture the sensuality of this single illicit moment very well from the woman's point of view. But the constrictions of AABB rhyming trip you up in line 10 which is awkwardly phrased. I might also suggest ending the poem after the third stanza.
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reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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I think you capture the sensuality of this single illicit moment very well from the woman's point of view. But the constrictions of AABB rhyming trip you up in line 10 which is awkwardly phrased. I might also suggest ending the poem after the third stanza.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hi RodG . Thanks so much for reading and I did wonder about the last line so have removed it. Cheers for your help
Comment from Mimi Linny
You did a great job keeping this Erotic Poem clean and respectable while, at the same time, providing the sensuality of the contest. Both rhyme and rhythm worked well and made for a very enjoyable read. Nicely done - and much luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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You did a great job keeping this Erotic Poem clean and respectable while, at the same time, providing the sensuality of the contest. Both rhyme and rhythm worked well and made for a very enjoyable read. Nicely done - and much luck in the contest!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hi Mimi Linny .Thanks for reading my poem for this contest. I wanted it to always be alluring but decent Cheers for your luck wishes
Comment from oliver818
I like your clean erotic poem. It flows well and I like the descriptions you use to set the scene, it works really well. Thanks for sharing this and best I luck with the competition
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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I like your clean erotic poem. It flows well and I like the descriptions you use to set the scene, it works really well. Thanks for sharing this and best I luck with the competition
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hi olliver818. Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem for this contest Much appreciated Cheers
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a good entry for the erotic poem.
The picture is beautiful and matches the poem perfectly.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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This is a good entry for the erotic poem.
The picture is beautiful and matches the poem perfectly.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hi Sharon, Thanks for reading my poem and tour review has revlieved my mind that it is OK and Thanks for your good luck wishes Cheers
