Wrong Girl
My son deserves better.26 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Now I wish for a six, I am sorry but if I wait till tomorrow I will forget and erase it. Excellently done and quite a tale to be told
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
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Now I wish for a six, I am sorry but if I wait till tomorrow I will forget and erase it. Excellently done and quite a tale to be told
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
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I'm glad you enjoyed it, Barb. Thanks for reading.
Comment from LaRosa
Creepy. Shades of Hitchcock or Twilight Zone going on here.
There's plenty of character building for each person, not over done. Considering the main character is writing under duress, the reader couldn't expect any change of heart here.
Like I said, 'Creepy' to enter the heart of such a hate filled, controlling mother-in-law.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
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Creepy. Shades of Hitchcock or Twilight Zone going on here.
There's plenty of character building for each person, not over done. Considering the main character is writing under duress, the reader couldn't expect any change of heart here.
Like I said, 'Creepy' to enter the heart of such a hate filled, controlling mother-in-law.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your review.
Comment from smileycloud
a great imagination which brought the reader right into your the dining room on Thanksgiving
the characterisation is superb
all the peop0le in your story has been introduced quite sufficiently to give us a good image of them and their personalities without going off the track
the theme/plot is very well represented
the main character , Linda is certainly someone to hate
you have written very well indeed
if it is a competition, good luck it should be a winner
IU am sadly "6 poor"
blessings
have a smiley day
Lorraine
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
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a great imagination which brought the reader right into your the dining room on Thanksgiving
the characterisation is superb
all the peop0le in your story has been introduced quite sufficiently to give us a good image of them and their personalities without going off the track
the theme/plot is very well represented
the main character , Linda is certainly someone to hate
you have written very well indeed
if it is a competition, good luck it should be a winner
IU am sadly "6 poor"
blessings
have a smiley day
Lorraine
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
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Don't worry about the six. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Ulla
Oh my God, this is seriously good, Maria Jose. This is a very, very good story, and with a great ending. You build the story up nicely to end up with the grand finale. I loved it. She doesn't seem to have any regrets whatsoever of what she's done. Very well written. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
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Oh my God, this is seriously good, Maria Jose. This is a very, very good story, and with a great ending. You build the story up nicely to end up with the grand finale. I loved it. She doesn't seem to have any regrets whatsoever of what she's done. Very well written. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
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Thanks for reading, Ulla.
Comment from jenintorre
Well Maria you were not really the kindest of mother in laws. Ha ha.
A very good flash fiction. It gripped me from start to finish. I loved the last line well done. Cheers Jen.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Well Maria you were not really the kindest of mother in laws. Ha ha.
A very good flash fiction. It gripped me from start to finish. I loved the last line well done. Cheers Jen.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks, Jen. (No, not a very nice mother-in-law...)
Comment from damommy
What an awful woman!
I can't imagine anyone being that mean. I hope they give her tofu and she chokes to death.
This is a good story that hooked me from the first.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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What an awful woman!
I can't imagine anyone being that mean. I hope they give her tofu and she chokes to death.
This is a good story that hooked me from the first.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your fun review, Yvonne.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting and well written story you have penned. You can come up with some really interesting and good stories. Great job! Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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This is a very interesting and well written story you have penned. You can come up with some really interesting and good stories. Great job! Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for reading, Teri.
Comment from sibhus
Great story. and the witch got what she deserved. This has a good flow that kept me interested till the end. I do have to admit that I expected the outcome. When the daughter-in-law offered your protagonist the candy, I was half expecting the story to another twist, but that just me. I just have one thought. I don't know about your character randomly hearing about a poison that is tasteless and hard to detect. She more than likely have to do a little e research to find something like that. Still an enjoyable read, and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Great story. and the witch got what she deserved. This has a good flow that kept me interested till the end. I do have to admit that I expected the outcome. When the daughter-in-law offered your protagonist the candy, I was half expecting the story to another twist, but that just me. I just have one thought. I don't know about your character randomly hearing about a poison that is tasteless and hard to detect. She more than likely have to do a little e research to find something like that. Still an enjoyable read, and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for reading.
About the poison, I did hear about one like that here on FS. Just like that, no research..
Comment from doggymad
Great story, well written and engaging. I did guess that somebody would have an accident on the day, but after the chocolates were offered I thought that maybe the mother in law would be the one to go.
You held me right till the end
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Great story, well written and engaging. I did guess that somebody would have an accident on the day, but after the chocolates were offered I thought that maybe the mother in law would be the one to go.
You held me right till the end
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for reading.
Comment from Bucketlist
You combined mother's love, jealousy, macabre, holiday, and consequences - WOW this has the usual twist of story I've come to know in your writing. It was an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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You combined mother's love, jealousy, macabre, holiday, and consequences - WOW this has the usual twist of story I've come to know in your writing. It was an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for reading and reviewing.
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No problem
