Spectronnection / Connectrum
How everything is connected23 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
Darren, I do have a couple of suggestions, yet feel this deserves six stars because you have managed a most difficult feat here. I am full of admiration for your amazing ability to write such a long poem and have so many creative and unique rhymes all the way through. It is a fascinating dream of seven doors, and your clever way of weaving history through the many scenes and the presence of your father... all of it was such an astonishing experience for me. I thoroughly enjoyed it. My minor suggestions include leaving out the colons which are not necessary and can be distracting, and to say "all of a sudden" instead of all of the sudden. Other than that, I think this is so creative and unique, it deserves a high rating.
MM
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2017
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Darren, I do have a couple of suggestions, yet feel this deserves six stars because you have managed a most difficult feat here. I am full of admiration for your amazing ability to write such a long poem and have so many creative and unique rhymes all the way through. It is a fascinating dream of seven doors, and your clever way of weaving history through the many scenes and the presence of your father... all of it was such an astonishing experience for me. I thoroughly enjoyed it. My minor suggestions include leaving out the colons which are not necessary and can be distracting, and to say "all of a sudden" instead of all of the sudden. Other than that, I think this is so creative and unique, it deserves a high rating.
MM
Comment Written 29-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2017
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Thank you for your kind comments I really appreciate your specific perspective. I tend to overuse punctuation as opposed to not using enough so I really appreciate your pointers on my use of punctuation thanks for stopping by and for reading this your comments and attention mean a lot to me and I really appreciate it. It is a pleasure and an honor to write with you here looking forward to seeing you sometime respectfully,
Darren
Comment from apky
This poem, the length of it aside, was quite different from anything I've ever read here or from you. I gasped with amazement or held my breath as I went through it. It is not only interesting, it also draws the reader in (well, this reader, at least) and completely make the reader immerse in it, live a diver.
Thanks for posting this.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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This poem, the length of it aside, was quite different from anything I've ever read here or from you. I gasped with amazement or held my breath as I went through it. It is not only interesting, it also draws the reader in (well, this reader, at least) and completely make the reader immerse in it, live a diver.
Thanks for posting this.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind comments. You have been a faithful and consistent friend here and I really appreciate that. An honor and a pleasure to write with you here I really appreciate you sharing your perspective with me, for it helps me to understand my writing even more and how it is coming across. Blessings, Darren
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Darren, it's a pleasure, and the reason we're here - to help each other improve our craft. Swing by mine sometime, it would be great to know what you think of my stuff.
Warm regards,
Aki
Comment from dmt1967
This poem is very long. I found myself getting distracted and losing the plot a few times. It was very well written but it rambled a bit, in my opinion. Thank you for sharing. It just wasn't for me.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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This poem is very long. I found myself getting distracted and losing the plot a few times. It was very well written but it rambled a bit, in my opinion. Thank you for sharing. It just wasn't for me.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you so much for stopping by sharing your thoughts. You have been inconsistent friend here on fanstorycom and I really appreciate your comments and your continued support. A pleasure and an honor to write with you here. Blessings, brother badger
Comment from mermaids
I like the mention of Mr. Ed in your poem, I drove my mother crazy, I had to watch Mr. Ed when I was a kid. There is a musical feel and flow to your words and a dream like quality to your poem. There is also a sense of rebirth in your words.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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I like the mention of Mr. Ed in your poem, I drove my mother crazy, I had to watch Mr. Ed when I was a kid. There is a musical feel and flow to your words and a dream like quality to your poem. There is also a sense of rebirth in your words.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind comments. I appreciate your specific perspective. And honor and a pleasure to write with you here. Blessings, brother badger
Comment from RGstar
Badger, this was just to long, because, by three quarters I was losing some of the excellence in more excellence. The early stages, captivated with sensible writing . The journey, the climax, and in between, beautiful writing.
You worked hard at this Badger, and though long, it was well written. I am rewarding with the best I have.
Six stars.
I'll take reading a second time another day.
Bravo.
Best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Badger, this was just to long, because, by three quarters I was losing some of the excellence in more excellence. The early stages, captivated with sensible writing . The journey, the climax, and in between, beautiful writing.
You worked hard at this Badger, and though long, it was well written. I am rewarding with the best I have.
Six stars.
I'll take reading a second time another day.
Bravo.
Best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank-you RG, for you have been one of my most consistent and supportive friends here. I really appreciate your comment and perspective they mean a lot to me thanks for the generous review your friend Darren
Comment from estory
I liked the flashes of images that merged like a stained glass window into an overview of life, and you were pretty all encompassing in this piece. the music seemed a little stop and go, I think the flow could have been a little better at times, and I think it could use a good edit to condense it and give it more of an impact in a tighter space. The idea is good and the framework is strong, I think you weave in and out of some good rhythms and the imagery is very surreal and dreamlike. estory
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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I liked the flashes of images that merged like a stained glass window into an overview of life, and you were pretty all encompassing in this piece. the music seemed a little stop and go, I think the flow could have been a little better at times, and I think it could use a good edit to condense it and give it more of an impact in a tighter space. The idea is good and the framework is strong, I think you weave in and out of some good rhythms and the imagery is very surreal and dreamlike. estory
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Thank you so much for stopping by your continued support and kind comments. I really appreciate your perspective. A pleasure and an honor to write with you here. Blessings, brother badger
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Wow this is some poem!Amazing, quite breathtaking, so interesting and absorbing, I felt like I was falling into it...quite a different and unusual poem and I like that you took that risk because it definitely paid off. This is wonderful. Absolutely delightful and insightful kindest regards Meia x
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Wow this is some poem!Amazing, quite breathtaking, so interesting and absorbing, I felt like I was falling into it...quite a different and unusual poem and I like that you took that risk because it definitely paid off. This is wonderful. Absolutely delightful and insightful kindest regards Meia x
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Thank you so much yes I did take a bit of a risk and as the results come in about 50% say it's too long but I really appreciate you stopping by your continued support and kind comments. Pleasure and an honor to write with you here. Blessings, brother badger
Comment from Quantum Traveler
Hey Badger it's been a while.
This was quite an Extraordinary Adventure You Encountered.
I totally enjoyed the trip from beginning to end...A story of evolutionary existence.
It's a Journey with Synchronicity as Your Guide Through the Celestial Realm of Intergalactic Space.
Some might think this to be quite long but "That's How Life Is"...It's a Journey from Beginning to End.
Don't know if you can Hip Hop to This One...Worth a Try though.
Enjoyed the Ride Bro...Quantum Traveler...Phil.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Hey Badger it's been a while.
This was quite an Extraordinary Adventure You Encountered.
I totally enjoyed the trip from beginning to end...A story of evolutionary existence.
It's a Journey with Synchronicity as Your Guide Through the Celestial Realm of Intergalactic Space.
Some might think this to be quite long but "That's How Life Is"...It's a Journey from Beginning to End.
Don't know if you can Hip Hop to This One...Worth a Try though.
Enjoyed the Ride Bro...Quantum Traveler...Phil.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Hey I really appreciate your comments bill. As a clown from traveler I figured you would get the gist of this yes a lot of people have complained that it's too long but I really appreciate your comments and your view. A pleasure and an honor to write here with you sir. Blessings, brother badger
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Keep On Dreamin'.
If You Can't Dream...What Else is There???
Cheers...Brother Badger...Phil.
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Thanks Phil you made my day
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My Pleasure.
Comment from Liberty Justice
WOW! The character in this poem seems to be on a long trip, perhaps a dream going through different colored doors. The journey takes writer back in time, it seems the only way he can end back up in a womb, and I presume his mother's womb. NICE. truly, liberty justice
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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WOW! The character in this poem seems to be on a long trip, perhaps a dream going through different colored doors. The journey takes writer back in time, it seems the only way he can end back up in a womb, and I presume his mother's womb. NICE. truly, liberty justice
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Thank you for stopping by Liberty, I really appreciate your comments had a review. An honor and a pleasure to write with you here. Blessings, brother badger
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GOOD LUCK in contest Today! truly, liberty justice
Comment from Ogden
Somehow, I was surprised that the piece actually came to an end.
What possibly may have begun with a concept, evolved into free association, apparently with the emphasis on rhymes.
Perhaps dream analysts would be more appropriate than reviewers to comment here - but one doesn't realize that until the mind boggles.
5 stars for perseverance.
Don (aka Ogden)
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Somehow, I was surprised that the piece actually came to an end.
What possibly may have begun with a concept, evolved into free association, apparently with the emphasis on rhymes.
Perhaps dream analysts would be more appropriate than reviewers to comment here - but one doesn't realize that until the mind boggles.
5 stars for perseverance.
Don (aka Ogden)
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind comments Argent a pleasure and an honor to write with you here. Blessings, brother Badger
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You are very welcome.
