Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Lovely ABC poem Steve with beautiful descriptions, wonderful alliteration and I learnt a new word in panoply. Gorgeous artwork, a perfect combination, well done.
cheers

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017

Thanks, Valda. Glad you liked it.

Steve

Comment from Liberty Justice

Excellent

Beautiful moon lit landscape. "Silent screams" looks like a metaphor where horrors or sadness lies out there, but are silently quiet. Reflections of moon and sailing makes for rich enchantment. WELL DONE. truly, liberty justice

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2017

Thanks, LJ. Yes, this is a bit of a mixed bag - pretty scene but it doesn't really conceal the horror.

Steve

Comment from visionary1234

Excellent

I see you're still having a go at these shorties, Steve! Bravo, as ever. But I have to ask WHY the moon 'betrays' a panoply of dreams ... love 'shoon' but puzzled as to why the stars are wearing them ... deflecting life's hurts, ok, sounds good to me ... but then the menace of 'stifling silent screams' was a bit of a puzzle! So I ended up a tad confused ... which admittedly doesn't take much ...
:):):)S

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2017

Hey, it's a poem - it's supposed to be confusing! My life would be awfully difficult if I had to try and infuse these things with some sort of logical meaning. Besides, this is just the sort of stuff the committee LOVES, and they've got to reward me eventually, for persistence if nothing else.

Humpwhistle , darn him, has pointed out that 'shoon' is a plural so my verb is technically wrong. I'm pretty sure the stars could be wearing shoon because Walter de la Mare has the moon wearing them in one of his poems.

Thanks for keeping me on my toes. There was meaning there when I started, but I may have got a bit carried away with pretty words.

Steve

Comment from Brigitte Elko

Excellent

A perfect rendition of an ABC poem. It is hauntingly beautiful with your words and the image. Thank you for sharing this.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Brigitte

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017

Hi, Brigitte, and welcome to FanStory.

Thank you for the kind comments on my poem.

Steve

reply by Brigitte Elko on 23-Nov-2017

Thank you for the warm welcome.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Brigitte

Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)

Excellent

' Adrift in inky seas, a crescent moon
Betrays a panoply of paltry dreams.'These lines, so beautiful and smooth, contrast with that last two words-wow- totally unexpected. Amazing this really is fantastic work well done kind regards Meia x

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017

Thanks, Meia. yes, I worked on getting that romantic beauty, but this was always going to end badly!

Steve

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

This is the second entry for this contest I've read. Your entry is excellent. I really enjoyed reading. You did a wonderful job writing it. I wish you the very best luck.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017

Thanks, Barbara. I appreciate your kind words.

Steve

Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson

Excellent

OOOooo...This is such a pretty ABC poem, my friend, I love it.
Well written, love the subtle "silent screams" at the ending:)
Good luck to you! ~Kerry

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017

Hi, kerry. Congrats on your recent contest win. It's nice to get amongst the money prizes, isn't it?

And thanks for the kind comments here...

Steve

reply by Kerry Foley Robinson on 23-Nov-2017

Your welcome, and Thank you so very much, Yes, it certainly is nice:))
Happy Thanksgiving!

Comment from humpwhistle

Exceptional

Am I the only dope who had to look up shoon?
It is now my favorite word.
I have a sudden urge to find a backstreet craps game
so I can blow on the dice and coo, 'Baby needs a new pair of shoon.'
Very Damon Runyon!

As always, your language and your imagery stand out.
I like the plural inky seas--one above, one below.

But if 'shoon' is plural for shoe, shouldn't 'deflects' be 'deflect'?

Or is there another shoon to drop?

Best of luck, Steve.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017

You may be the only one smart enough to look up shoon. Nobody else has mentioned it at all. Now I have to say that I knew it was the archaic plural of 'shoe', but it somehow got mixed up in my head with 'sheen. I seem to remember Chaucer used 'eyen' and other 'n' plurals are oxen and children... I mainly know it from Walter de la Mare's pretty poem 'Silver' which starts:

Slowly, silently, now the moon
Walks the night in her silver shoon;
This way, and that, she peers, and sees
Silver fruit upon silver trees;

Anyway, thanks for the review and the stars, as always.

Steve

reply by humpwhistle on 22-Nov-2017

I'm enamored of 'shoon'.
I'm surprised I never came across it in the crossword puzzles I do every day.

I'm thinking shoon is going to be a great rhyming word for a limerick.

L

reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017

A fella from old Saskatoon
tried peeing into the spittoon...

Comment from damommy

Excellent

An excellent ABC poem, with lovely alliteration, and the sibilant sounds set it off very nicely. I'm thinking maybe the picture inspired the poem? One of the ABC poems I've ever read. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017

Thanks, Yvonne. No, I never go looking for pictures until the poem is done, but it does match beautifully, doesn't it?

Steve

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

It's all about the picture, and what a picture
it is. Great alliteration in, panoply of paltry,
starlight's silver shoon, stifles silent screams.
I like the way you offset the last two words for impact.
Well written Steve. One of the best ABC's I have read.
Nancy

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2017

Thanks, Nancy. The words came first, but yes, I did manage to find a stunning picture to match them. Glad you enjoyed.

Steve