Unleashed Chaos
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Hidden Away/Part Two"A Novel of the Breedline Series
7 total reviews
Comment from Natali Holden
I think I might cry. Your characters feel so real and Jace...well he's going through so much. Tessa's gone, along with her unborn babies. I'm so worried for everyone!
Just one mistake: "As his hands clenched into fists, Casey took a deep breath trying to fight off his Theriomorph nature. This pathetic excuse for a human had no idea he was not just a Breedline, but something far (more) dangerous."
Also, when you said Casey wiped that girl's mind, was it all of it or just what had happened? With each chapter I keep getting more and more into it! Keep up the awesome writing! Can't wait for more!
Natali ;)
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2017
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I think I might cry. Your characters feel so real and Jace...well he's going through so much. Tessa's gone, along with her unborn babies. I'm so worried for everyone!
Just one mistake: "As his hands clenched into fists, Casey took a deep breath trying to fight off his Theriomorph nature. This pathetic excuse for a human had no idea he was not just a Breedline, but something far (more) dangerous."
Also, when you said Casey wiped that girl's mind, was it all of it or just what had happened? With each chapter I keep getting more and more into it! Keep up the awesome writing! Can't wait for more!
Natali ;)
Comment Written 23-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2017
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Thank you, Natali :)
I sure appreciate you catching a couple of things in this chapter. I'm actually re-editing this book, and I did not catch this. You're such a big help! You have a good pair of eyes. :)
Stay tuned... there is more action and drama for the Breedline. Glad you enjoyed. Thank you so much for the fantastic feedback.
Shana :)
Comment from ngage
Captivating chapter, Shana. You always reel me in with your photos. You not only have a talent for writing, you have an artist's eye.
Looks like a lot of things are happening with the Breedline. Poor Tessa. I hope she connects with Jace so they can come to her rescue. I never get bored of your stories. I'm always intrigued by your ability to weave in and out of each situation. You amaze me! I'm addicted to your story!
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2017
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Captivating chapter, Shana. You always reel me in with your photos. You not only have a talent for writing, you have an artist's eye.
Looks like a lot of things are happening with the Breedline. Poor Tessa. I hope she connects with Jace so they can come to her rescue. I never get bored of your stories. I'm always intrigued by your ability to weave in and out of each situation. You amaze me! I'm addicted to your story!
Comment Written 22-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2017
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Thank you, ngage :)
You're such a inspiration to me. I know I always say this... but you do make the difference in my writing. Your dedication to my story keeps me excited to write more.
Thanks again my friend,
Shana :)
Comment from apky
A great emotional chapter, darling, so well written the reader could physically feel with each one of the characters: Tessa, Jace, Jem, and Casey, especially. The suspense continues, and I'm still so rooting for Tessa and Jace plus their unborn babies.
Brilliant, as usual. I couldn't write anything like this, honestly. You amaze me.
which was the only reason he'd step("set" foot is better. But if you prefer "step", then you have to delete "foot") foot in a place like this.
The guy's eyes narrowed and (he)lumbered up out of his seat to a full height of about six-five.
The asshole towering above him would shit himself if only he'd known(know, because you've used the modal verb "would").
Casey thought as he bent down and grabbed the guy's collar of his jacket.
~ change to: Casey thought as he bent down and grabbed the guy's jacket collar.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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A great emotional chapter, darling, so well written the reader could physically feel with each one of the characters: Tessa, Jace, Jem, and Casey, especially. The suspense continues, and I'm still so rooting for Tessa and Jace plus their unborn babies.
Brilliant, as usual. I couldn't write anything like this, honestly. You amaze me.
which was the only reason he'd step("set" foot is better. But if you prefer "step", then you have to delete "foot") foot in a place like this.
The guy's eyes narrowed and (he)lumbered up out of his seat to a full height of about six-five.
The asshole towering above him would shit himself if only he'd known(know, because you've used the modal verb "would").
Casey thought as he bent down and grabbed the guy's collar of his jacket.
~ change to: Casey thought as he bent down and grabbed the guy's jacket collar.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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Thank you! :)
You are so wonderful! I can't tell you how thankful I am to hear your encouraging words and for all your help. You make a difference.
Your fan,
Shana :)
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Always a pleasure, darling.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Another good chapter as the story is unfolding.
The story is moving along quickly and it makes for wanting more.
This story has the potential to go in many different directions.
Well done.
Sharon
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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Another good chapter as the story is unfolding.
The story is moving along quickly and it makes for wanting more.
This story has the potential to go in many different directions.
Well done.
Sharon
Comment Written 21-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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Thank you, Sharon :)
I'm honored to have you stop in again to read another Breedline adventure.
Your encouraging feedback is the motivation that keeps me going.
Thanks again,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
It seems things have reached a terrible impasse, Jace is shattered, Tessa's suffering to the extreme, and Eve starts deluding herself...perhaps? Where to from here, are there weapons strong enough to overcome Sebastion and his brother Thomas, well done Shana, I know you'll pull out the clever stops as you always do, well done dear friend, excellent written, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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It seems things have reached a terrible impasse, Jace is shattered, Tessa's suffering to the extreme, and Eve starts deluding herself...perhaps? Where to from here, are there weapons strong enough to overcome Sebastion and his brother Thomas, well done Shana, I know you'll pull out the clever stops as you always do, well done dear friend, excellent written, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 21-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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Thank you my dear friend :)
The tension in the Covenant is growing and everyone is distraught over Tessa and the twins taken by Sebastian. Stay tuned... more twists and turns to come.
You're the greatest!
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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Good writing dear Shana
Comment from Brigitte Elko
This is like "Game of Thrones" addictive TV, addictive reading. Fascinating content so in tune with the times for readers of this decade. I am heading to Amazon to check out and buy your excellent and entertaining work. I love it. This is my first exposure to your work.
Brigitte
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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This is like "Game of Thrones" addictive TV, addictive reading. Fascinating content so in tune with the times for readers of this decade. I am heading to Amazon to check out and buy your excellent and entertaining work. I love it. This is my first exposure to your work.
Brigitte
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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WOW!!! Thank you, Brigitte :)
You just made my evening shine. Your encouraging words really motivate me to keep writing about my Breedline adventures. I'm currently working on the fourth series, and now you have given me a skip in my step. You can get sneak peeks on my blog at shanacongrove.com
I always love to hear feedback from my readers. If you purchase any of my books... take a photo of you and the book and send it to shanacongrove@yahoo.com. If you give me an address, I will send you an autographed T-shirt with the cover of the book on the front.
Thanks again,
Shana :)
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Thank you so much and I will. I know what a good review can do. I just published my first Children's book and there a two errors in it. One a word omission and a spelling error. Both the publisher was responsible but it is still getting good reviews. Will review yours after purchase and reading. congratulations on your success.
Blessings,
Brigitte
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Thank you so much! I do know how it feels to have typos and missing words in your final work. It drives me crazy. I had terrible editors. I'm working on getting it fixed, but it's a long process.
What is the name of your children's book? I will have to check that out. :)
Thanks again,
Shana :)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This novel speaks another phase of fantasy to teach another lesson for life, peace in life never stays long, crime victimization is evident, Jace, weakened but alive, was found mysteriously outside the gates of the Covenant; I liked.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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This novel speaks another phase of fantasy to teach another lesson for life, peace in life never stays long, crime victimization is evident, Jace, weakened but alive, was found mysteriously outside the gates of the Covenant; I liked.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Thank you! :)
I'm grateful to see you enjoy another adventure of the Breedline. Your feedback is very inspiring. Hope to see you back again my friend!
Shana :)
