Still Kicking
Down but not out6 total reviews
Comment from smileycloud
very humourous and extremely well rounded piece of work covering all the bases of aging
the exact and the near rhymes are all working well together
the flow of the story keeps a good pace and does not stray from the topic
the meter in the first few verses work really well with one another being restricted to a pattern between 7 to 10 syllables;- later in the piece when the syllable count extends out a bit longer the flow at first feels interupted but it soon fits well back in with itself
NOW ;- in my stupidity for saying all that;- I forgot it was meant to be free verse anyway and all that structure stuff I was rattling on about was not an issue anyway
good work for the story
good luck in the contest
have a smiley day
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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very humourous and extremely well rounded piece of work covering all the bases of aging
the exact and the near rhymes are all working well together
the flow of the story keeps a good pace and does not stray from the topic
the meter in the first few verses work really well with one another being restricted to a pattern between 7 to 10 syllables;- later in the piece when the syllable count extends out a bit longer the flow at first feels interupted but it soon fits well back in with itself
NOW ;- in my stupidity for saying all that;- I forgot it was meant to be free verse anyway and all that structure stuff I was rattling on about was not an issue anyway
good work for the story
good luck in the contest
have a smiley day
Comment Written 18-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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thank you for such a great review, it's always appreciated.
Comment from patcelaw
This is a great getting old poem for the challenge/ I enjoyed the read and now it is my pleasure to review it. May you find your weekend filled with wonder and joy. Patricia
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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This is a great getting old poem for the challenge/ I enjoyed the read and now it is my pleasure to review it. May you find your weekend filled with wonder and joy. Patricia
Comment Written 17-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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Thank you so much. I hope you have a lovely weekend as well.
Comment from Mimi Linny
Adorably funny and true! Great way to give in to the "YAY, I'm Getting Old" time of life - Always to look on the positive side of even "down" bumps is what keeps us forever young (at least in thought)! Loved the refrain line... "at least I'm not yet in the ground!" Great one! Wishing you the best in the contest!
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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Adorably funny and true! Great way to give in to the "YAY, I'm Getting Old" time of life - Always to look on the positive side of even "down" bumps is what keeps us forever young (at least in thought)! Loved the refrain line... "at least I'm not yet in the ground!" Great one! Wishing you the best in the contest!
Comment Written 17-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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Thank you for such a nice review, I love to hear from fellow writers.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You might be old, but you're not cold! This is just a saying, ageing is something that we seem unprepared for and we also find it hard to accept because inside we still feel the same young teenager bouncing along, but age is important and I would hate to live forever, I want my offspring to follow on and enjoy their life as I have enjoyed mine, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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You might be old, but you're not cold! This is just a saying, ageing is something that we seem unprepared for and we also find it hard to accept because inside we still feel the same young teenager bouncing along, but age is important and I would hate to live forever, I want my offspring to follow on and enjoy their life as I have enjoyed mine, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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Thanks for reading my poem, I really appreciate it. The best senerio would to be in great shape, live forever and be able to meet your great great great grandchildren! At least for me. Lol. It would be interesting to see how technology advances over the years. As for me, I just recently learned how to E mail....oh well.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a cute and fun entry for the YAY! I'm Getting Old writing prompt.
Well rhymed and easy to read.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2017
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I think this is a cute and fun entry for the YAY! I'm Getting Old writing prompt.
Well rhymed and easy to read.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 17-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2017
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Thank you so much for the nice review, it's always appreciated.
Comment from B.B. Rose
Such a wonderful poem that truly captures the horror/joy of still being alive in the fact of the ravages of time...It has end-rime though, so I wonder if that will count against you as this is a free verse contest. Hope not. Good luck.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2017
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Such a wonderful poem that truly captures the horror/joy of still being alive in the fact of the ravages of time...It has end-rime though, so I wonder if that will count against you as this is a free verse contest. Hope not. Good luck.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2017
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Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem. I don't know a lot about structure or form when it comes to poetry and I hope I didn't break a rule. I mostly just write what I feel.
