Selections For Book Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "M1 Carbine Musings"possible selections for inclusion in book project
16 total reviews
Comment from frierajac
I have been getting all WWI films and books this last week around Veterans' Day.
YOu free verse didn't make me feel like War is the thing we should be encouraging
at all. Which is fine with me. The presentation is very well done.
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I have been getting all WWI films and books this last week around Veterans' Day.
YOu free verse didn't make me feel like War is the thing we should be encouraging
at all. Which is fine with me. The presentation is very well done.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2017
Comment from Pantygynt
Written from the point of view of a soldier who actually likes to personify the target enemy in his sights as some one, it looks like a family member, of whom he had intimate knowledge. it is an interesting possibility but most of the warriors of my acquaintance preferred their targets to be as impersonal as possible. That way it was like being on the rifle range -- no humanity on the receiving end. But if you have to hate in order to squeeze the trigger maybe this is a good idea.
It is an original idea anyway.
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Written from the point of view of a soldier who actually likes to personify the target enemy in his sights as some one, it looks like a family member, of whom he had intimate knowledge. it is an interesting possibility but most of the warriors of my acquaintance preferred their targets to be as impersonal as possible. That way it was like being on the rifle range -- no humanity on the receiving end. But if you have to hate in order to squeeze the trigger maybe this is a good idea.
It is an original idea anyway.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2017
Comment from robina1978
I don't feel that you are as vicious as your poem suggested. I did not realise it was a free verse till you mentioned it. I liked it very much and joined this challenge group as you suggested. I see you also changed the photo, so that must be allowed. Best wishes.
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I don't feel that you are as vicious as your poem suggested. I did not realise it was a free verse till you mentioned it. I liked it very much and joined this challenge group as you suggested. I see you also changed the photo, so that must be allowed. Best wishes.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2017
Comment from Gloria ....
I very much enjoy your presentation on this one, Mav. Your choice of typewriter font eliminates all the frill of "artsy" interpretation and in combination with the plain photograph of an M1 Carbine it seems we may be drawn into the singular mindset of a soldier fighting for his or her life.
But that belies the actuality when in the third stanza we are drawn into a pristine world of a happy family going about a picnic in the park. Until the peace and beauty explodes like splinters of glass.
I read this as possible PTSD coming back as a civilian with the singular purpose that no longer has a place.
Excellent work. The abstract quality makes this suitable for many situations.
Great job!
Ange
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I very much enjoy your presentation on this one, Mav. Your choice of typewriter font eliminates all the frill of "artsy" interpretation and in combination with the plain photograph of an M1 Carbine it seems we may be drawn into the singular mindset of a soldier fighting for his or her life.
But that belies the actuality when in the third stanza we are drawn into a pristine world of a happy family going about a picnic in the park. Until the peace and beauty explodes like splinters of glass.
I read this as possible PTSD coming back as a civilian with the singular purpose that no longer has a place.
Excellent work. The abstract quality makes this suitable for many situations.
Great job!
Ange
Comment Written 12-Nov-2017
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I can see and fell the thoughts of the terrorist as he is ready to take a life. No reguard and his own personal agenda. The paragraph that starts with the souvenir lays it out.
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I can see and fell the thoughts of the terrorist as he is ready to take a life. No reguard and his own personal agenda. The paragraph that starts with the souvenir lays it out.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2017
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hello, Michael;
Your writing was lovely, but I hated the theme of this one. I could imagine a shooter in a tower, aiming for the families below. It isn't a pleasant thought.
~patty~
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Hello, Michael;
Your writing was lovely, but I hated the theme of this one. I could imagine a shooter in a tower, aiming for the families below. It isn't a pleasant thought.
~patty~
Comment Written 12-Nov-2017
Comment from nordicgirl
This has a deadly tone that I am not used to from you. It seems almost like the gun itself is speaking, cold and indifferent. Is that it? In any case, the horror of war is here in all of its ugliness. Mankind ai its worst woth a perfect example of one of his inventions. Chilling, Michael
NG
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This has a deadly tone that I am not used to from you. It seems almost like the gun itself is speaking, cold and indifferent. Is that it? In any case, the horror of war is here in all of its ugliness. Mankind ai its worst woth a perfect example of one of his inventions. Chilling, Michael
NG
Comment Written 12-Nov-2017
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written free verse poem. The war of power is our biggest enemy today. The single individual who seeks acknowledgement by killing innocent people.
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A very well-written free verse poem. The war of power is our biggest enemy today. The single individual who seeks acknowledgement by killing innocent people.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2017
Comment from country ranch writer
Nice work up and presentation for this it is sad though killing can be done in an instant with a weapon of choice. But it is still the person behind the gun pulling the trigger that's the killer not the gun. Guns come into play when the man behind it uses it.people don't get it and say the gun is responsible. Guns don't pull their own triggers, fund don't have fingers to do it and they don't have a mind of their own. So tell me is the gun at fault or the person using the gun
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Nice work up and presentation for this it is sad though killing can be done in an instant with a weapon of choice. But it is still the person behind the gun pulling the trigger that's the killer not the gun. Guns come into play when the man behind it uses it.people don't get it and say the gun is responsible. Guns don't pull their own triggers, fund don't have fingers to do it and they don't have a mind of their own. So tell me is the gun at fault or the person using the gun
Comment Written 12-Nov-2017
Comment from damommy
I like the scattered rhymes. The scenario about the picnic was especially chilling. Good description of children bouncing like marbles from the clouds. The splintering of the glass into her eyes seems to be something that would happen.
I can see why the part about the picnic was put in. It wasn't drifting away from the story. It was how the shooter imagine his next target.
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I like the scattered rhymes. The scenario about the picnic was especially chilling. Good description of children bouncing like marbles from the clouds. The splintering of the glass into her eyes seems to be something that would happen.
I can see why the part about the picnic was put in. It wasn't drifting away from the story. It was how the shooter imagine his next target.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2017
