Reviews from

People Helping People

Helping Hand Given

9 total reviews 
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It would take a lot of editing to make this look like something I wrote, and then it still might not be all slick and grammatical, so I'll hush about that. This is what Christmas should be, everybody making sure everybody has a good Christmas. Excellent story.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
    You are a riot!9
Comment from Sharon Meda
Excellent
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A good entry for the Christmas Story Contest.
Well written, easy to follow.
Well done.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
    Thank you for your support
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
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I sent you a message as to how I would correct this for the contest. Please don't be angry with me, I just want to help. Thank you

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
    I will get to it soon as I can get to my main computer to do a printout
Comment from doggymad
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The story line is good my friend, but a little disjointed in parts. I would strongly suggest some spaces between the paragraphs for clarity.

However I did enjoy the story which tells the true spirit of Christmas

hugs

Freda

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
    Thank you for your support
Comment from Halfree
Needs Improvement
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You have a very good story that is ruined by the telling. It is difficult to follow, the scenes changing with no transitions. The opening is a tangle of confusing statements. For example "a plantation covering thousands of miles..." WOW, try riding across that in a day.
Property owned by the bank president? How did that come about? Perhaps the bank holds the deeds.
This story needs some structure and editing. I suggest that the author develop a time line, and outline, if you please.
Also a book on English grammar would be helpful...
So here's my suggestion , develop a time line...this and then this happens.
Check the grammar and learn how to use a simple declarative sentence...a powerful tool.


 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
    Re worked.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
    Grammar used by the folks in the back country. It was the way they talked
reply by Halfree on 13-Nov-2017
    Have no problem with Back Country talk. My concern was with the presentation. I understand the need to write the dialog using the dialect of the characters. My concern had to do with the narrative presentation and the grammar. It is a good story. It's the presentation that needs some rewrite.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2017
    Will work on this soon as I can get back home ok..,it will be awhile tied up with some od life issues right now and can get to this.
reply by Halfree on 15-Nov-2017
    You have a killer of a story...wish it were mind.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written heartfelt Christmas story. There are many people who cannot afford extras during Christmas. They have to struggle just to have something on the table. When something come to us we can be blessed by sharing with others

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
    Thank you for your support
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Country Ranch Writer: great story about helping one another in love and gifts. Yes, people can make a difference and lift up others in their days. I always try to encourage people. God gives us wisdom and blesses our hands. I like how the Butlers are best friends and not judged by their skin color.

I remember when Lutherans and Catholics didn't mix in my city. Then, I saw black guys around. They came to play ball for the university. Everyone has gifts to use.

Nice Christmas story - **************************** stars for you.
flylikeaneagle - nancy (( hope you win!!!)))

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
    Thank you so much for your support
Comment from teols2016
Excellent
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This is an important story for current times. Thank you for sharing it. Just give it another read to clean up some spelling and grammar issues. Otherwise, well done.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    Thank you for your support
Comment from sunnilicious
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Santa candies and fresh oranges sure are Christmastime in the South. This is a wonderful country story. Well thought out and clearly written. I liked the twang too. Nice work. Good luck in the contest :)

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    Thank you for your support