Hunter's Moon
dialect story9 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Loved this story Red, it was easy to visualize with your descriptions and dialect.
He sounded grump but he was really being right neighbourly. A great read,
cheers.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
Loved this story Red, it was easy to visualize with your descriptions and dialect.
He sounded grump but he was really being right neighbourly. A great read,
cheers.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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I think that's the best way to give and keep the pain on all sides to a minimum. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my short story.
Comment from robyn corum
Lige,
What a delightfully grumpy old coot - who's one of the biggest liars I've ever read about. *smile* Loved this so much, but no sixes let - I'm plumb broke. Sorry.
One note:
1.) Put it in ye damn old junk an' get outa my sight(,)" I said,
Loved it! Thanks!
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
Lige,
What a delightfully grumpy old coot - who's one of the biggest liars I've ever read about. *smile* Loved this so much, but no sixes let - I'm plumb broke. Sorry.
One note:
1.) Put it in ye damn old junk an' get outa my sight(,)" I said,
Loved it! Thanks!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
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If ya liked it, I am pleased. Stars are nice, but not the bottom line. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing, Robyn.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a well told tale.
A good story, easy to follow. I got a good understanding of the characters.
Well done. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Sharon
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
This is a well told tale.
A good story, easy to follow. I got a good understanding of the characters.
Well done. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Sharon
Comment Written 09-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my short story. I hope the only place the okies and hobo jungles are found is in novels from here on.
Comment from humpwhistle
Yeah, you've got the ear, Red. And you weave a fine crotchety yarn, too.
Reminded me of a scene from Grapes of Wrath. It's a wonder what a loaf of Wonder can mean.
This is a fine story, Red. Love the ironic ending. Coots cain't abide irony.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
Yeah, you've got the ear, Red. And you weave a fine crotchety yarn, too.
Reminded me of a scene from Grapes of Wrath. It's a wonder what a loaf of Wonder can mean.
This is a fine story, Red. Love the ironic ending. Coots cain't abide irony.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 09-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
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That line, "Nah, them's two fer a penny candy." stuck with me. I pictured my dad as the speaker, back in the days of okies and depression. Lee, getting good reviews from those who count imposes a duty to get more, and to get through to people. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my stuff.
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I think we just reviewed Grapes of Wrath in shorthand. Was that scene on your mind when writing about the nanner sandwiches and Twinkies?
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Not when I started, but by the time I finished I saw the similarity. Not a bad thing to be a bit like great writing, since nearly everything has been written...
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Relax. You didn't ape. You evoked. As I've said, you're a talented writer. What's more, you're unique.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written story about the midnight visitors in need of food and gas to go on their way. A gjid watch dog announced their presence and there is no more sleep until the visitors found their way.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
A very well-written story about the midnight visitors in need of food and gas to go on their way. A gjid watch dog announced their presence and there is no more sleep until the visitors found their way.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
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That has been a rare thing in the US, since the end of the Great Depression and Dust Bowl days, when families traveling the roads hungry were too common. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my short story.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fascinating write with colourful dialogue throughout and a clip of another life burned into the page, a very atmospheric write filled with voices of the night, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
A fascinating write with colourful dialogue throughout and a clip of another life burned into the page, a very atmospheric write filled with voices of the night, love Dolly x
Comment Written 09-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
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And Steinbeck's Grapes Of Wrath and my dad's tales of the Great Depression color this short tale, too. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Red,
very nice piece. The voice to it is excellent and the dialectal tics serve very well. Understandable too, which is always nice. Great descriptiveness and the colloquialisms employed are super.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
Hi Red,
very nice piece. The voice to it is excellent and the dialectal tics serve very well. Understandable too, which is always nice. Great descriptiveness and the colloquialisms employed are super.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 09-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
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About halfway through I began to see parallels to Grapes Of Wrath, but then almost everything has been written. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from damommy
I really like your dialect stories. You're so good at them. Even though he was grumpy about it, he fed everyone and gave them gas to go on. Kind heart under that gruff manner.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
I really like your dialect stories. You're so good at them. Even though he was grumpy about it, he fed everyone and gave them gas to go on. Kind heart under that gruff manner.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
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I based this on my dad's stories of the Great Depression, which makes it a throwback to Steinbeck's era. I hope I didn't borrow too heavily from The Grapes Of Wrath, it's been decades since I read it...thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
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Not at all. I didn't give the book a thought when I read your poem. Very original.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Red.
"Don't want ye money. Want my dog t'shaddup so I kin sleep." (Hahahaha! Sounds just like here.)
"Git in this(Space)here trailer an' fix 'em one. My ol' nanners is a-"
"Now will y'all get ta hail outa here an' lemme sleep.(should be a comma.)" I said."
Hahahaha! Great work, mate. I wish I had a six left.
It does sound like here, though. I never get any bloody sleep lol.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
G'day Red.
"Don't want ye money. Want my dog t'shaddup so I kin sleep." (Hahahaha! Sounds just like here.)
"Git in this(Space)here trailer an' fix 'em one. My ol' nanners is a-"
"Now will y'all get ta hail outa here an' lemme sleep.(should be a comma.)" I said."
Hahahaha! Great work, mate. I wish I had a six left.
It does sound like here, though. I never get any bloody sleep lol.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my yarn in dialect, and for catching the nits. I'll fix them.