Reviews from

Hunter's Moon

dialect story

9 total reviews 
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Loved this story Red, it was easy to visualize with your descriptions and dialect.
He sounded grump but he was really being right neighbourly. A great read,
cheers.

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017

reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
    I think that's the best way to give and keep the pain on all sides to a minimum. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my short story.
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Lige,

What a delightfully grumpy old coot - who's one of the biggest liars I've ever read about. *smile* Loved this so much, but no sixes let - I'm plumb broke. Sorry.

One note:
1.) Put it in ye damn old junk an' get outa my sight(,)" I said,

Loved it! Thanks!


 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017

reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    If ya liked it, I am pleased. Stars are nice, but not the bottom line. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing, Robyn.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a well told tale.
A good story, easy to follow. I got a good understanding of the characters.
Well done. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Sharon

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017

reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my short story. I hope the only place the okies and hobo jungles are found is in novels from here on.
Comment from humpwhistle
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Yeah, you've got the ear, Red. And you weave a fine crotchety yarn, too.
Reminded me of a scene from Grapes of Wrath. It's a wonder what a loaf of Wonder can mean.

This is a fine story, Red. Love the ironic ending. Coots cain't abide irony.

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017

reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    That line, "Nah, them's two fer a penny candy." stuck with me. I pictured my dad as the speaker, back in the days of okies and depression. Lee, getting good reviews from those who count imposes a duty to get more, and to get through to people. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my stuff.
reply by humpwhistle on 09-Nov-2017
    I think we just reviewed Grapes of Wrath in shorthand. Was that scene on your mind when writing about the nanner sandwiches and Twinkies?
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    Not when I started, but by the time I finished I saw the similarity. Not a bad thing to be a bit like great writing, since nearly everything has been written...
reply by humpwhistle on 09-Nov-2017
    Relax. You didn't ape. You evoked. As I've said, you're a talented writer. What's more, you're unique.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very well-written story about the midnight visitors in need of food and gas to go on their way. A gjid watch dog announced their presence and there is no more sleep until the visitors found their way.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017

reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    That has been a rare thing in the US, since the end of the Great Depression and Dust Bowl days, when families traveling the roads hungry were too common. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my short story.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A fascinating write with colourful dialogue throughout and a clip of another life burned into the page, a very atmospheric write filled with voices of the night, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017

reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    And Steinbeck's Grapes Of Wrath and my dad's tales of the Great Depression color this short tale, too. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Red,

very nice piece. The voice to it is excellent and the dialectal tics serve very well. Understandable too, which is always nice. Great descriptiveness and the colloquialisms employed are super.

All the best
GMG

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017

reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    About halfway through I began to see parallels to Grapes Of Wrath, but then almost everything has been written. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from damommy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really like your dialect stories. You're so good at them. Even though he was grumpy about it, he fed everyone and gave them gas to go on. Kind heart under that gruff manner.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017

reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    I based this on my dad's stories of the Great Depression, which makes it a throwback to Steinbeck's era. I hope I didn't borrow too heavily from The Grapes Of Wrath, it's been decades since I read it...thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
reply by damommy on 09-Nov-2017
    Not at all. I didn't give the book a thought when I read your poem. Very original.
Comment from Walu Feral
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

G'day Red.

"Don't want ye money. Want my dog t'shaddup so I kin sleep." (Hahahaha! Sounds just like here.)

"Git in this(Space)here trailer an' fix 'em one. My ol' nanners is a-"

"Now will y'all get ta hail outa here an' lemme sleep.(should be a comma.)" I said."

Hahahaha! Great work, mate. I wish I had a six left.

It does sound like here, though. I never get any bloody sleep lol.

Cheers Fez


 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017

reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
    Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my yarn in dialect, and for catching the nits. I'll fix them.