Reviews from

The Malevolent Scourge

An Ancient Evil Gains New Life on All Hallows Eve

20 total reviews 
Comment from dmt1967
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The beginning is too heavy going, in my opinion. It needs to be more readable. It is supposed to grab a reader's attention. Yous is hard to follow, in my opinion.
It took too long to get to the heart of the story but when it did it was entertaining.
Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2017

Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The seas can toss any size ship as if it is a small ship in a child's bathtub. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2017

Comment from trumby
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a very good entry in this contest.
Frank soon shifted from an attitude of concern to a greedy power-grabber, didn't he? This story must show that all power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
I think that you did a wonderful job of creating the characters. The captain was the villain at the beginning but soon became -just another victim.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest, mate.

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2017

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This has a good lesson of life expression, despite losses there is acceptance of life in good speed, all ill will or malicious suffering in the Halloween Eve brought in good message of ancient evil; I liked. (6-STAR)

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
    Thanks so much!
    To know you liked it means a lot to me.
    Dave
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi, Duane

= Your story lives up the prompt as a Halloween Horror Story.
= However, I did find some suggestions. However, no disrespect intended, so use or lose as you see fit.
(1) Using too many -ADVERBS- make for an unrealistic read--too fluffy.
(2) Can be said for too many -THAT- as well. Many sentences can stand on their own -without- using it and sound just find.
(3) Also, change it up and use -which- but most times it calls for a -comma/which.
EXAMPLE: Tom liked the lobster, which had been cooked to perfection.
(4) To get much more readers, you should keep you short stories -or- chapters in a novel under 2000 words. Even if it means breaking a short story into two or three parts.
(5) This story has over 7000 words. If you divided it into -4- parts, they would have been approx. 1700 words.
(6) It isn't always about the amount you promote your work for, but keep in mind, length is a huge factor. While you many get a few if you're new, some will back away if you are repetitive in lengthy work. We have an obligation to those fans who follow us, to return in kind.

= Good luck in the contest.

Cheers, J
Have a good day/evening!
(*>*) A Smile Is A Frown Upside Town (*>*)

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
    Thanks, J. I really liked your advice.
    Dave
Comment from Mistydawn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a well-written, interesting story. A little on the long side but well worth the time. The characters seem real believable, the plot moves along nicely and the dialogue natural. If I have nightmares tonight I'll know who to thank, lol, take care.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
    Thanks so much for your feedback!
    Dave
Comment from Sharon Meda
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a good Halloween Horror Writing story.
Well written, characters are well developed.
Good detail.
Good luck to you in the competition, if it's not over.
Sharon

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    Thanks Sharon!
Comment from mmonaghan777
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very glad you put the violence warning on this piece. Also very scary. I can see your mad scientist in this story. It was a little long but I am glad I read through to the end. Keep writing and pleasing your dreams.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    Thank you so much!
    I will.

    Best,

    Dave
Comment from teols2016
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That was quite a storm, and Frank is a storm all on its own. One should watch themselves around him. I enjoyed reading this. Well done.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
    Thanks, I'm really happy you liked it.
    Best,

    Dave
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good luck in the contest. I also entered this contest, so the best I can wish for you is second play. I need the money. I've got a wife, six kids, and eight grandchildren.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
    Thanks! If I don't win the contest, I will hope you do. :)