Whenever Terror Strikes
A response to attacks77 total reviews
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Sis Cat
= This is such a good write, depicting the harshness of today's world.
= Sadly, there is so much rage and violence going on in our world these days.
= Now, today, with the shooting and deaths in a church in Texas, is just an eerie feeling in the wind.
= Excellent sonnet entry for the prompt. Good Luck.
= Cheers, J
= Have a good day/evening!
(*>*) Remember--A Smile Is A Frown Upside Town (*<*)
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017
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Hi, Sis Cat
= This is such a good write, depicting the harshness of today's world.
= Sadly, there is so much rage and violence going on in our world these days.
= Now, today, with the shooting and deaths in a church in Texas, is just an eerie feeling in the wind.
= Excellent sonnet entry for the prompt. Good Luck.
= Cheers, J
= Have a good day/evening!
(*>*) Remember--A Smile Is A Frown Upside Town (*<*)
Comment Written 06-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017
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Yes, Jacqueline, the sad thing about my poem is that two weeks ago I started writing about last year's Orlando shooting. Halfway into my draft the new York truck rampage occurred. Hours after I posted my poem, a gunman struck a Texas church.
Thank you for your thoughtful review and for wishing me luck in my submission and in the contest.
Comment from Jay Squires
One of your better dark sonnets, my friend--probably your best, especially the way this poem explores the solar plexus of headless terror (I'm trying to work with putting words to a particular feeling, and coming up short.) Your poem does it much better, capturing the frightening facets of needed forgetting.
We gather, hand in hand, for loss enshrined
or hold aloft the candles' golden flame. [You might want to use "candle's" as emblematic of all the candles. Otherwise, if you use the plural possessive, you need to change "flame" to "flames" and that might throw off the rhyme.]
The dripping wax upon our skin in-kind
recalls our lives will never be the same. [What a powerfully evocative line, Andre!
I hope this gets the recognition it deserves.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017
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One of your better dark sonnets, my friend--probably your best, especially the way this poem explores the solar plexus of headless terror (I'm trying to work with putting words to a particular feeling, and coming up short.) Your poem does it much better, capturing the frightening facets of needed forgetting.
We gather, hand in hand, for loss enshrined
or hold aloft the candles' golden flame. [You might want to use "candle's" as emblematic of all the candles. Otherwise, if you use the plural possessive, you need to change "flame" to "flames" and that might throw off the rhyme.]
The dripping wax upon our skin in-kind
recalls our lives will never be the same. [What a powerfully evocative line, Andre!
I hope this gets the recognition it deserves.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017
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Thank you, Jay, for your thoughtful, six star review. It has been an emotional twenty-four hours. First, I stared fear and terror in the face and wrote this poem. It is very hard to allow myself to be vulnerable but I had to go there to write this poem. Hours after I posted it, a gunman killed 26 at a Texas church.
Thanks for your edit on "candle's" and for pointing out the lines that resonated with you. Those lines were the last I wrote for my poem as the first six lines and the last six lines were finished.
Keep working on putting words to feelings. I spent two weeks on this poem. Nothing worked until I listened to people's and my pain and fears.
Thanks again.
Comment from Thal1959
Excellent, Andre. But we should just get use to the attacks. There is no going back to the good old days anymore. I am glad I am 58 and not in the best of health. I cringe at what kind of world today's children are inheriting.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017
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Excellent, Andre. But we should just get use to the attacks. There is no going back to the good old days anymore. I am glad I am 58 and not in the best of health. I cringe at what kind of world today's children are inheriting.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017
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Yes, Thal1959, I cringe to think of the world our children will inherit. Two weeks ago I started writing a poem about the Orlando shooting last year. Yesterday I decided to change course and write about the New York truck rampage. Hours after I posted my poem this morning, a gunman killed 26 in a Texas church. Getting used to these attacks is sobering.
Thank you for your generous, six star review.
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You're welcome - it was my pleasure, Andre.
Comment from Hitcher
A powerful, emotionally charged poem friend. Fear is the terrorists goal, carnage is their weapon of choice and they are getting better and bolder when wielding it. You are starting to slay the sonnet form now friend. Loved this one mate...loved it!!
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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A powerful, emotionally charged poem friend. Fear is the terrorists goal, carnage is their weapon of choice and they are getting better and bolder when wielding it. You are starting to slay the sonnet form now friend. Loved this one mate...loved it!!
Comment Written 05-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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Oh, thank you, Hitcher, for your generous, six star review and for complimenting that I am "starting to slay the sonnet form." I had worked on an epic twelve stanza poem for two weeks, but made little progress. Yesterday I threw out four pages of drafts when the poem suggest to me that it could work as a sonnet--a form usually associated with romance. Once I decided upon this course, the sonnet took form in a day and I posted it just before this morning's shooting in Texas.
Thanks again for your review.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is very timely, es[ecially considering the murders at the church in Texas today. What a tragedy. When will it end. The answer is never. There will always be hatred and killing in the world.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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This is very timely, es[ecially considering the murders at the church in Texas today. What a tragedy. When will it end. The answer is never. There will always be hatred and killing in the world.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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Yes, Thomas, very timely. Initially I started writing about last year's Orlando shooting but then started writing about last week's truck rampage in New York. Hours after I posted my poem, the Texas shooting happened.
I do not know when this hatred and killing will end.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from lyenochka
Thanks so much, Andre, for giving voice to all who have experienced, witnessed and just learn about these horrific attacks. It affects us all. Even today's shooting at another church. So many lines resonated with me, especially:
"Masses hold their breath...
The dripping wax upon our skin in-kind
recalls our lives will never be the same.
In time, surviving souls absorb attacks
and life returns to norm when peace beguiles.
...
With each attack, our fears emerge again
when terror's guts and gore bestain the slain."
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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Thanks so much, Andre, for giving voice to all who have experienced, witnessed and just learn about these horrific attacks. It affects us all. Even today's shooting at another church. So many lines resonated with me, especially:
"Masses hold their breath...
The dripping wax upon our skin in-kind
recalls our lives will never be the same.
In time, surviving souls absorb attacks
and life returns to norm when peace beguiles.
...
With each attack, our fears emerge again
when terror's guts and gore bestain the slain."
Comment Written 05-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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Thank you, lyenochka, for your generous, six star review and for pointing out the lines that resonated with you. These attacks keep coming. As soon as I finished one poem about it, another attack happens.
Comment from Irish Rain
Beautiful sonnet, and so sadly true. Now today, with the church shooting in Texas, another sad exclamation mark on these attacks. A wonderful entry, blessings...
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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Beautiful sonnet, and so sadly true. Now today, with the church shooting in Texas, another sad exclamation mark on these attacks. A wonderful entry, blessings...
Comment Written 05-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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Thank you, Irish Rain, for your thoughtful review of my beautiful yet sad sonnet. I reel from today's attacks. Thanks for calling this a wonderful entry, too.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"When Terror Strikes" is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece.
This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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"When Terror Strikes" is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece.
This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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Thank you, Duchess, for your generous, heartfelt review of my thought-provoking piece.
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Sis Cat, as always, you're very welcome.
Best wishes and bless you, the Duchess
Comment from krys123
Greetings and hello, Andre;
-as an analogy, this poem is like putting a Rolls-Royce engine in a
Volkswagen bus. Poem is beautiful. The choice of literary form (sonnet) and the beautifully written social psychological commentary are somewhat strange to be used as one. As I'm so used to romantic style poems with sonnets.
-I could see this beautifully written exceptional poem written in a Petrarchan or Spencerian form.
-For instance; utilization of the rebuttal verse, that some may call it, or the verse of reaction to the previous quatrain whether it be positive or negative scales a gentle slope when it's utilized in this fashion.
-Your's, however, is written as a poem that in a romantic sonnet form but works so beautifully together as both form and topic conceptual theme. I just wonder if other critics will think the same
thing when it comes to contest adjudication.
-You're very talented being able to do this and do it so well.
-I really enjoyed reading your poem and even though what I've learned in classes and by teachers doesn't mean a thing when you can do what you done so well.
-Good luck in the contest and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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Greetings and hello, Andre;
-as an analogy, this poem is like putting a Rolls-Royce engine in a
Volkswagen bus. Poem is beautiful. The choice of literary form (sonnet) and the beautifully written social psychological commentary are somewhat strange to be used as one. As I'm so used to romantic style poems with sonnets.
-I could see this beautifully written exceptional poem written in a Petrarchan or Spencerian form.
-For instance; utilization of the rebuttal verse, that some may call it, or the verse of reaction to the previous quatrain whether it be positive or negative scales a gentle slope when it's utilized in this fashion.
-Your's, however, is written as a poem that in a romantic sonnet form but works so beautifully together as both form and topic conceptual theme. I just wonder if other critics will think the same
thing when it comes to contest adjudication.
-You're very talented being able to do this and do it so well.
-I really enjoyed reading your poem and even though what I've learned in classes and by teachers doesn't mean a thing when you can do what you done so well.
-Good luck in the contest and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 05-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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Thank you, Alex, for your generous, six star review, and your suggestions. Initially, I wanted to expand my poetic repertoire and write a bob and wheel poem like the Pearl Poet, but after a month of reading and studying him, Chaucer, Thomas Malory, and even your The Salesman, I could not make my poem work. So I threw out four pages of drafts. Yesterday the poem suggested to me that it might work as a sonnet, so I allowed the poem to take that shape, instead of fighting it. I like the idea of learning a Petrarchan or Spencerian sonnet, because it would expand my options.
Your The Salesman, which I had printed out to study, played a key role in the development of my poem. I love your use of telling, narrative details that one would not normally include in poems:
He whisks his hand outside his moving car
like a wing that is floating on the wind.
This inspired me to focus on what the hands are doing in my poem:
We gather, hand in hand, for loss enshrined
or hold aloft the candles' golden flame.
The dripping wax upon our skin in-kind
recalls our lives will never be the same.
Your example of focusing on the hands helped make my sonnet.
I am deeply honored by your example and support. What my two week journey with this poem taught me was that I cannot write like Chaucer, the Pearl Poet, Malory, or even you. I have to allow myself to be me.
Thank you for your generous, six star review and for the generous, instructive example of your work.
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Thank you very much on the day, as I am very that you use my phone to help you configure yours in some points. Yes trying to specialize in the imagery to a person's persona, whether it be the hands or one's face or even a wink of an eye candy picked and imagery that can be very helpful in explaining the mannerism. I really enjoyed your sonic I thought it was well written. I meant what I said it's like putting a Rolls-Royce engine in a Volkswagen bus. As the beauty of the essence of your poem amounted with such elasticity in the meaning and the conceptual theme of the poem. Elasticity meaning it could stretch many different directions in the meaning of what your theme was.
Good luck in your future endeavors and God bless.
Alex
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Thanks, Alex, for your support. The Society Of Classical Poets asked if they could publish my poem on their homepage. I told them yes and am awaiting confirmation. Meanwhile, I recalled your advice on the Petrarchan sonnet and am exploring that form for a new poem. Thanks.
Andrr
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Petrarchan's are fun and you should enjoy doing one.
Alex
Comment from okanaganbell
I Hear you!! They (terror strikes) really do build an accumulating mass of fear, inside each and every one of us. Even those that feel removed from it, because it seems so far from their home, can now feel the fear...It can happen anytime and anywhere now, which puts it in everyone's home. good job.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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I Hear you!! They (terror strikes) really do build an accumulating mass of fear, inside each and every one of us. Even those that feel removed from it, because it seems so far from their home, can now feel the fear...It can happen anytime and anywhere now, which puts it in everyone's home. good job.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2017
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Yes, okanaganbell, even though I live far from many of these attacks for now, I can see and feel fear on the faces of people around me. Thank you for your review and for hearing me.
