The Man Who Just Moved In
A letter in disappearing ink from...6 total reviews
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Fuuuuuuunnnnnnyyyy! Ogden: It is refreshing to read your work. I truly appreciate your sense of humor. It is great to read something that makes me smile or laugh out loud as opposed to some of the sad and dark poems and stories that I read on the regular, here in Fan Story. I do read them all though, as time allows.
I like the story line in you 100 word story. It is something that we see many times on TV but have not thought about, really. In other words, I have never really thought about what that new, weird neighbor (who just moved in) may say to himself or what he may be thinking. INTERESTING!
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
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Fuuuuuuunnnnnnyyyy! Ogden: It is refreshing to read your work. I truly appreciate your sense of humor. It is great to read something that makes me smile or laugh out loud as opposed to some of the sad and dark poems and stories that I read on the regular, here in Fan Story. I do read them all though, as time allows.
I like the story line in you 100 word story. It is something that we see many times on TV but have not thought about, really. In other words, I have never really thought about what that new, weird neighbor (who just moved in) may say to himself or what he may be thinking. INTERESTING!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
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Here I'd thought the old man was gone and forgotten, and you've chosen to let him come up for some air. He exists only in the minds of the readers, so now maybe you'll have to take a closer look at your elderly neighbors.
Thank you, Tier, for all that flattery. I'm sure I'm blushing under my beard.
You can call me Don.
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Okay, Don. It's a pleasure to meet you. I shall visit your portfolio from time to time to read some of the happy poems. I will talk with you soon.
Comment from frogbook
Really creepy and well written with a great ending. Tense and ironic throughout. Compelling reading and should take a top spot in the voting booth.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
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Really creepy and well written with a great ending. Tense and ironic throughout. Compelling reading and should take a top spot in the voting booth.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
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That is exactly the reaction to the piece I was shooting for, Frogbook. Thank you!
Comment from write hand blue
I like this one, mystery author. Much implied and left to the end to confirm.
The picture gives a good lead into the short tantalising story. A masterful use of words. Good luck.
~Mel~
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
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I like this one, mystery author. Much implied and left to the end to confirm.
The picture gives a good lead into the short tantalising story. A masterful use of words. Good luck.
~Mel~
Comment Written 02-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
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"tantalising and 'masterful' are very rewarding high praise, Mel. Thank you for the compliments and good wishes!
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My pleasure...
Comment from teols2016
I apologize. I didn't initially catch this was a letter/note. That's certainly not something I'd like to receive in the mail. It's a different but interesting approach to this contest (I did the same once in another contest.) Best of luck.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2017
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I apologize. I didn't initially catch this was a letter/note. That's certainly not something I'd like to receive in the mail. It's a different but interesting approach to this contest (I did the same once in another contest.) Best of luck.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2017
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For some reason, you don't want to get it, teols. The man's role is obvious.
It's very simple:
A woman, living alone, gets a sinister anonymous note from someone who says he has been watching her. She is terrified, exactly as the letter says she would be.
Of course, he didn't say, "I'm a killer." It's hard to believe you didn't "get" that.
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Thank you for manning up, Teols. You did the right thing.
Comment from apky
You sound quite the gentleman, and I happen to be one old lady who donesn't scare easy.
I don't initiate conversations, but I have overheard women, in passing, saying they like my looks. Some lonely day, you may decide to introduce yourself to me.
I hope you will, my dear.
Well, I think I will, my dear.
A great prompt that I can see developing into... well, romance a la Nicholas Sparks!
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2017
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You sound quite the gentleman, and I happen to be one old lady who donesn't scare easy.
I don't initiate conversations, but I have overheard women, in passing, saying they like my looks. Some lonely day, you may decide to introduce yourself to me.
I hope you will, my dear.
Well, I think I will, my dear.
A great prompt that I can see developing into... well, romance a la Nicholas Sparks!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2017
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No, you got me wrong. I'm not that guy. I made him up. Now are you scared, apky sweetie?
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Nope. I'm even more excited now.
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Ok, I am the handsome gentleman. Your move.
Comment from Mustang Patty
wow, nothing like a creepy old man moving into the neighborhood. I imagine some of the women feel that strange feeling when they look at him. I usually feel the hairs at the back of my neck stand on edge when I'm around a creep. My women's intuition kicks in.
Great use of descriptive language, combined with tone to tell this tale. Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2017
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wow, nothing like a creepy old man moving into the neighborhood. I imagine some of the women feel that strange feeling when they look at him. I usually feel the hairs at the back of my neck stand on edge when I'm around a creep. My women's intuition kicks in.
Great use of descriptive language, combined with tone to tell this tale. Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 01-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2017
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Thank you for your insightful comments, Patty. What you described is exactly what i wantt he reader to feel.
Thanks for your good luck wish, too.
