New Outlook
Changed view toward the aged.36 total reviews
Comment from Abby Wilson-hand
HAS A SORT OF CORISMA TO THIS
WRITE . HOPE TO SEE MORE OF YOUR
WRITTING KUDOS TO YOU
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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HAS A SORT OF CORISMA TO THIS
WRITE . HOPE TO SEE MORE OF YOUR
WRITTING KUDOS TO YOU
Comment Written 26-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Wow. I can't find what CORISMA means but it does sound nice to me, Abby. Thanks a lot for encouragement.
Phillip
Comment from Pantygynt
I took this to be a poem about one's passage through life. I liked the images it created but it left me in two minds on occasions due to missing commas creating the possibility of more than one interpretation. This may be intentional but the punctuation is apparently normal in the first stanza. In the final stanza where i found the poet's intent somewhat blurred. Are aged and suspended to be taken as adjectives? If so where is the noun they describe? If there were a comma after "these" it would make more sense. The whole poem seems to be one long sentence. If you mean us to work it out for ourselves then no punctuation is an option, but it isn't working at the moment, at least not for me.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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I took this to be a poem about one's passage through life. I liked the images it created but it left me in two minds on occasions due to missing commas creating the possibility of more than one interpretation. This may be intentional but the punctuation is apparently normal in the first stanza. In the final stanza where i found the poet's intent somewhat blurred. Are aged and suspended to be taken as adjectives? If so where is the noun they describe? If there were a comma after "these" it would make more sense. The whole poem seems to be one long sentence. If you mean us to work it out for ourselves then no punctuation is an option, but it isn't working at the moment, at least not for me.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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I will take a look at that line, Pantygynt. Thanks a lot.
Phillip
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
I may be on the wrong track for what you intended, but my dear friend and poet laureate said, "A poem only means what it means to the reader." So, I will tell you what I read: Youth can be sassy and it is easier to conform and get along. Understanding that in itself is a skill, gave you hope that things might someday change. Now that you are aging/aged, you were a bit leery of trying to fit in with these 'old' people and hoped they wouldn't want to change you. Once you realized that they had no expectation of that, you were able to change yourself, mentally and physically. Ta Da. I enjoyed the read. - Wendy
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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I may be on the wrong track for what you intended, but my dear friend and poet laureate said, "A poem only means what it means to the reader." So, I will tell you what I read: Youth can be sassy and it is easier to conform and get along. Understanding that in itself is a skill, gave you hope that things might someday change. Now that you are aging/aged, you were a bit leery of trying to fit in with these 'old' people and hoped they wouldn't want to change you. Once you realized that they had no expectation of that, you were able to change yourself, mentally and physically. Ta Da. I enjoyed the read. - Wendy
Comment Written 26-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Wow, Wendy. What a nice thing to say. Thank you so much for the kind words.
Phillip
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Well done on the rhyming and rhythm.
I'm not sure I fully understand what is happening though. Is the narrator elderly and moved to a home?
Who didn't want to coach, the elderly or those caring for them?
I guess I found more questions than answers here.
Sharon
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Well done on the rhyming and rhythm.
I'm not sure I fully understand what is happening though. Is the narrator elderly and moved to a home?
Who didn't want to coach, the elderly or those caring for them?
I guess I found more questions than answers here.
Sharon
Comment Written 26-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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I'm sorry that I did not communicate it well enough, Sharon. Thanks for reading.
Phillip
Comment from Cmelton
This is a great poem of hope and greatly conveys the experience you have with life. Your words show that you have learned from experiences in your life and that you know how to express yourself. Great poem and good job making your point known.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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This is a great poem of hope and greatly conveys the experience you have with life. Your words show that you have learned from experiences in your life and that you know how to express yourself. Great poem and good job making your point known.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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What a wonderful thing to say, Cmeltong. Thanks so much for the kind words.
Phillip
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hello, Phillip.
Being a Humana Medicare subscriber, I participate in their SilverSneakers fitness program.
The free basic fitness center membership includes use of exercise equipment, classes and amenities, such as swimming pools, hot tubs and saunas. The SilverSneakers membership also includes a free low-impact aerobic group exercise class designed specifically for seniors.
Every other Sunday I volunteer in a program through my church to visit elderly shut-ins and local area nursing home residents who otherwise have no one who visits them any longer--for whatever reason. Interacting with these amazing, interesting people, I soon realized that the majority of seniors (even those far older than myself) realize the importance of staying fit. Your immune system is stronger, your overall health is much better, and you retain a more youthful, healthy appearance.
Of course, you still have your stupid people out there as well...
Having said all of that, I enjoyed reading your poem.
I couldn't agree with you more.
~Dean
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Hello, Phillip.
Being a Humana Medicare subscriber, I participate in their SilverSneakers fitness program.
The free basic fitness center membership includes use of exercise equipment, classes and amenities, such as swimming pools, hot tubs and saunas. The SilverSneakers membership also includes a free low-impact aerobic group exercise class designed specifically for seniors.
Every other Sunday I volunteer in a program through my church to visit elderly shut-ins and local area nursing home residents who otherwise have no one who visits them any longer--for whatever reason. Interacting with these amazing, interesting people, I soon realized that the majority of seniors (even those far older than myself) realize the importance of staying fit. Your immune system is stronger, your overall health is much better, and you retain a more youthful, healthy appearance.
Of course, you still have your stupid people out there as well...
Having said all of that, I enjoyed reading your poem.
I couldn't agree with you more.
~Dean
Comment Written 26-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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I love the man attempting to do what more able body men can. This is hilarious, Dean. Thanks for sharing.
Phillip
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My pleasure, Phillip. :)
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Ok
Comment from emptypage
Changing any circumstances is so hard, no? I feel it, see it, experience it with every new place, person, or thing, and I'm getting too old to give a damn what anyone expects... but we have to play the game.
I need to find my metaphorical gym and coach the way I once did.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Changing any circumstances is so hard, no? I feel it, see it, experience it with every new place, person, or thing, and I'm getting too old to give a damn what anyone expects... but we have to play the game.
I need to find my metaphorical gym and coach the way I once did.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Since I became a vegetarian, my physical and mental health has noticeably improved. I am turning 66 next month and I don't have all the health issues that a man my age does, except getting up in the middle of the night to pee 3 or maybe 4 times because the raw vegetables hold a lot of water. Do a little research. I really want you to get better and not resign yourself to the present state.
Phillip
Comment from ronnie k
Exceptional, a view that I and many other youths of color can identify if only they as I would stop and take a look in inside in thanksgiving for could have been. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2017
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Exceptional, a view that I and many other youths of color can identify if only they as I would stop and take a look in inside in thanksgiving for could have been. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 25-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2017
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Thanks, ronnie k.
Phillip
Comment from closetpoetjester
A thoughtful write about the power of changing your own destiny when you're unhappy with the sway people are having on you.
I'm sure the gym is an escape for many, not to mention an ideal way to get fit and make new friends.
Nicely done
Cheers P
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2017
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A thoughtful write about the power of changing your own destiny when you're unhappy with the sway people are having on you.
I'm sure the gym is an escape for many, not to mention an ideal way to get fit and make new friends.
Nicely done
Cheers P
Comment Written 25-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2017
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True. Thanks for reading and understanding, closetpoetjester.
Phillip
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Good for you Phillip.
Phillippa
haha
Snap!
Comment from teols2016
I like your perspective on your changed envirement. And you present it so concisely. Another strong piece for your portfolio. Well done.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2017
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I like your perspective on your changed envirement. And you present it so concisely. Another strong piece for your portfolio. Well done.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2017
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Wow. Thanks so, so, so much, teols2016.
Phillip
