Lover's adieu
3 line poem33 total reviews
Comment from FxstsLisa
I love this poem! It comes off as being a nice little quaint poem. The words you used are excellent. Nice job, and best of luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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I love this poem! It comes off as being a nice little quaint poem. The words you used are excellent. Nice job, and best of luck in the contest!
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Thanks for reviewing zanya
Comment from rspoet
This is a fine poem for the 3-line poem contest
with an excellent third line and nice touch of alliteration.
Adieu is such a soft sounding word, but not in this context;
Parting is difficult, before, during and after.
Excellent art work to match your words.
Well done.
Good luck in the contest.
RS
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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This is a fine poem for the 3-line poem contest
with an excellent third line and nice touch of alliteration.
Adieu is such a soft sounding word, but not in this context;
Parting is difficult, before, during and after.
Excellent art work to match your words.
Well done.
Good luck in the contest.
RS
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Thanks for reading and detailed critique -much appreciated zanya
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Intriguing image.
-Syllable count is good.
-I like the use of one
continuous thought.
-You have addressed
the topic very well, Zanya.
-Good description, as well
as the use of alliteration in line three.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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-Intriguing image.
-Syllable count is good.
-I like the use of one
continuous thought.
-You have addressed
the topic very well, Zanya.
-Good description, as well
as the use of alliteration in line three.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Thanks for such an encouraging review zanya
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You are welcome.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
Losing someone through any kind of good bye is just hard. It's a new adjustment without them. It's learning a new routine and trying to get on without that person that meant a lot to you. I think we can all relate to this.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Losing someone through any kind of good bye is just hard. It's a new adjustment without them. It's learning a new routine and trying to get on without that person that meant a lot to you. I think we can all relate to this.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Exactly !!! Not a nice experience but sadly an all too common one !! thanks for the critique zanya
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, an expressive reference of heartbreak, written to define a singularly personal view of the effect - well constructed, in perfect compliance with the prompt...
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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In my opinion, an expressive reference of heartbreak, written to define a singularly personal view of the effect - well constructed, in perfect compliance with the prompt...
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Thanks for reading and critique zanya
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You are very welcome, Zanya...Eve
Comment from RGstar
Nicely said. Sensual and giving, as well sad.
Sometimes a taste of reality can be beautifully sad.
My best wishes.
Have a nice day.
RGstar
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Nicely said. Sensual and giving, as well sad.
Sometimes a taste of reality can be beautifully sad.
My best wishes.
Have a nice day.
RGstar
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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What a nice review ! zanya
Comment from estory
You need to avoid opening and ending lines awkwardly with 'is' and 'a'. that second line seems cut off from the rest of the poem. A verb to start gives it some movement, something like zigzag or something like that. I liked the last line. The alliterations worked nicely, and the focus on loneliness is strong. Rework the second line, with an ear to the music of the language, and it will be a much better poem estory
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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You need to avoid opening and ending lines awkwardly with 'is' and 'a'. that second line seems cut off from the rest of the poem. A verb to start gives it some movement, something like zigzag or something like that. I liked the last line. The alliterations worked nicely, and the focus on loneliness is strong. Rework the second line, with an ear to the music of the language, and it will be a much better poem estory
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Thanks for reading and critique zanya
Comment from Heather Knight
Life can change so much when the one we love leaves us. Our loneliness makes us see everything in a different light. All seems much sadder.
You express these feelings perfectly in your poem.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Life can change so much when the one we love leaves us. Our loneliness makes us see everything in a different light. All seems much sadder.
You express these feelings perfectly in your poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Great review -thanks for those encouraging words zanya
Comment from fastdigits
A great choice of art work to show off your poetic and artistic skills to emulate the message of a lover's goodbye through a lens of loneliness.
Well done and good luck
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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A great choice of art work to show off your poetic and artistic skills to emulate the message of a lover's goodbye through a lens of loneliness.
Well done and good luck
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Most encouraging review zanya
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A short but poignant write about loneliness and the profound affect it has on us. I can identify with these few words, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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A short but poignant write about loneliness and the profound affect it has on us. I can identify with these few words, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Most encouraging review -thanks for reading zanya
