Unleashed Chaos
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Little Arius/Part Two"A Novel of the Breedline Series
6 total reviews
Comment from apky
You definitely know how to weave a multi-layered story, Shana.
Every time around, I'm overwhelmed with your talent in this particular dimension. You're simply awful.
Having said that, your craft is so good I envy you. And it's getting better with each chapter.
Warmly fond of you,
Aki
The Breedline's goal was to avoid the use of a human hospital if (at) all possible.
You've got to be honest with her(,) Jace,
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
  |
You definitely know how to weave a multi-layered story, Shana.
Every time around, I'm overwhelmed with your talent in this particular dimension. You're simply awful.
Having said that, your craft is so good I envy you. And it's getting better with each chapter.
Warmly fond of you,
Aki
The Breedline's goal was to avoid the use of a human hospital if (at) all possible.
You've got to be honest with her(,) Jace,
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
-
Oh thank you, dear friend :)
You're such a great support to me, and such a big help. You make a difference. Your positive feedback keeps my chin up and encourages me to keep having faith in myself.
Words along cannot express how much I appreciate you.
Your fan,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
It can only be a good thing if Jace gets to know Alexander better, a man needs a dad, to confide in and look up to.
So young Arius has inherited the ability to "portal" taking Natalie with him, a young boy needs a diet of mud pies to "mature" him, my girls had a steady diet of mud pies, and built up their immune system, heh heh. An excellent episode, embroidered with all the wonderful descriptive expressions a reader needs for enjoyment, well done, dear Shana, blessings, Roy
Typo : on some level he couldn't believe he was going (to) tell...
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
|
It can only be a good thing if Jace gets to know Alexander better, a man needs a dad, to confide in and look up to.
So young Arius has inherited the ability to "portal" taking Natalie with him, a young boy needs a diet of mud pies to "mature" him, my girls had a steady diet of mud pies, and built up their immune system, heh heh. An excellent episode, embroidered with all the wonderful descriptive expressions a reader needs for enjoyment, well done, dear Shana, blessings, Roy
Typo : on some level he couldn't believe he was going (to) tell...
Comment Written 10-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
-
Thank you, dear friend :)
I had fun writing this chapter. I thought bringing some laughter into the adventures of the Breedline would be nice for a change. What better way then to write something about the kiddos playing in mud. :)
I'm hoping to gradually bring Jace and Alexander's relationship into the story. Jace has had such hard feelings toward his biological father (Alexander), it's been hard for him to accept him.
Thank you for your great eyes. I read over and over and never catch such little things. You're awesome my friend. Thanks for always having my back.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
-
Great story, with great noble emotion,
Comment from ngage
The photo you placed with your chapter is perfect! Another great chapter, Shana. In the previous chapter, I thought Sebastian took Arius, but you surprised me. He actually used his gift and disappeared through a portal, taking little Natalie with him. You did an excellent job with expressing the toddlers after they got caught playing in the mud. Not only can you write, drama, romance, and action, you do a wonderful job adding comedic scenes to your story.
Now that Jace drummed up the courage to speak with Helen about his nightmares of Tessa's death, I wonder if he will tell Tessa. I like the part where Helen suggested he get to know Alexander. That would be interesting to read.
Great job, Shana! I truly enjoy reading your Breedline stories.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
 |
The photo you placed with your chapter is perfect! Another great chapter, Shana. In the previous chapter, I thought Sebastian took Arius, but you surprised me. He actually used his gift and disappeared through a portal, taking little Natalie with him. You did an excellent job with expressing the toddlers after they got caught playing in the mud. Not only can you write, drama, romance, and action, you do a wonderful job adding comedic scenes to your story.
Now that Jace drummed up the courage to speak with Helen about his nightmares of Tessa's death, I wonder if he will tell Tessa. I like the part where Helen suggested he get to know Alexander. That would be interesting to read.
Great job, Shana! I truly enjoy reading your Breedline stories.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
-
Thank you, ngage :)
So glad you enjoyed another chapter. It's nice to always hear your feedback. You brighten my day afterward.
You're greatly appreciated, my dear friend.
Shana :)
Comment from Elaine Arnett
I liked the tension between the muddy children/creatures and those caring for them. It seems there is a lot at stake here. Probably I need to read more of the novel to understand fully what is happening.
 |
I liked the tension between the muddy children/creatures and those caring for them. It seems there is a lot at stake here. Probably I need to read more of the novel to understand fully what is happening.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
Comment from Natali Holden
You are so awesome at writing novels! I have several ideas for some of my own and I wrote one of them, but it was kind of short and I'm going to rewrite it soon. I wish I was as good at novels as you are. You have enough subplots so that it's not just focused on one thing. Your characters are awesome. And one of the biggest things is that you keep me reading, keep me wanting more. This chapter wasn't ended at a giant cliffhanger, but you've definitely done that to me before and the wait has not been very enjoyable. But once you post the next chapter, I read through it in a flash. Enjoyed! Awesome chapter! Keep it up!
Natali ;)
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
|
You are so awesome at writing novels! I have several ideas for some of my own and I wrote one of them, but it was kind of short and I'm going to rewrite it soon. I wish I was as good at novels as you are. You have enough subplots so that it's not just focused on one thing. Your characters are awesome. And one of the biggest things is that you keep me reading, keep me wanting more. This chapter wasn't ended at a giant cliffhanger, but you've definitely done that to me before and the wait has not been very enjoyable. But once you post the next chapter, I read through it in a flash. Enjoyed! Awesome chapter! Keep it up!
Natali ;)
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
-
Thank you so much! :)
So glad you caught another episode of the Breedline. After reading your feedback, my day definitely brightened. I wanted to add some fun into the story, and I thought the mischievous toddlers would change up the story. You'll find as the story moves on, Arius is quite taken with little Natalie.
I need to go into your profile and read some of your posts. You always take the time to read mine. I work so many hours and try to fit in as much writing as I can. I wish there were more hours in the day.
Thank you again,
Shana :)
Comment from pbomar1115
Along with getting help with his dreams, Jace has a bit of counseling for Helen. Jace seemed more relaxed or relieved that he got the message to Helen to see her father.
Phillip
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
|
Along with getting help with his dreams, Jace has a bit of counseling for Helen. Jace seemed more relaxed or relieved that he got the message to Helen to see her father.
Phillip
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
-
Thank you, Phillip :)
I appreciate the excellent rating and the kind feedback. I hope to hear back from you again.
Shana :)
-
You're welcome.
Phillip
