Bar stool babe
A sad character study.15 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Sounds more like an old lonely lady drunk not the girl in the picture. It sounds like a person who has made herself over but not better.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Sounds more like an old lonely lady drunk not the girl in the picture. It sounds like a person who has made herself over but not better.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 06-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Thanks. I agree but I just couldn't find a better picture.
Comment from luther maddox
A very excellent poem, I was a bartender for over 40 years and have seen women of this stature. We called them barflys, seeking for happiness in a glass that is only for the moment, a temporary exit from life only to return the next day seeking for what was lost, and start again.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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A very excellent poem, I was a bartender for over 40 years and have seen women of this stature. We called them barflys, seeking for happiness in a glass that is only for the moment, a temporary exit from life only to return the next day seeking for what was lost, and start again.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Thanks for your comment
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there;
you weren't kidding with you tag line. This was indeed a sad character study. It is important to be able to describe a character so well with just a few words. It goes a long way in story writing.
Well done,
~patty~
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Hi there;
you weren't kidding with you tag line. This was indeed a sad character study. It is important to be able to describe a character so well with just a few words. It goes a long way in story writing.
Well done,
~patty~
Comment Written 06-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Thanks so much for your comments.
Comment from RodG
Anyone who has ever been to a sleazy bar has seen HER propped on a stool. Good attention to the physical details that set her apart. May I make one suggestion? Switch the order of your last two stanzas.
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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Anyone who has ever been to a sleazy bar has seen HER propped on a stool. Good attention to the physical details that set her apart. May I make one suggestion? Switch the order of your last two stanzas.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Thank you for your c omments and suggestion.
Comment from Lucian Carter
Is it sad when someone who coasted ion beauty all their life finds that beauty fading? Or is it comeuppance. I do feel bad for the woman on the bar stool, but some of the responsibilities probably lie with choices she made.
Great character study, great ending.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Is it sad when someone who coasted ion beauty all their life finds that beauty fading? Or is it comeuppance. I do feel bad for the woman on the bar stool, but some of the responsibilities probably lie with choices she made.
Great character study, great ending.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Thank you Lucian.
