Comment from Father Flaps

Excellent

You did a great job with this poem, Patty, a nice entry for the Katauta Poetry contest. You address a lover in 5-7-7 syllables.
For whatever reason, I have had memories surfacing recently too. I was in Grade 9 and Susan was in Grade 7. We were together at every school dance, Recreation Association dance, and Saturday sock-hop almost that whole year.
She became pregnant when she was in Grade 12. And a few years later, her next boyfriend was killed in motorcycle/oil truck collision. But she became a good special needs school teacher, now retired and living in a log home. I have never forgotten her even though she dumped me abruptly for someone else before Grade 9 finished. Oh, if we could turn back time, like Cher's song suggests, eh?
https://youtu.be/BsKbwR7WXN4
I like the artwork you chose to accompany your poem. Our hearts bear some bruises, don't they? Yet, every relationship molds us.
Nicely penned! Good Luck in the contest!
cheers
Kimbob

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi again, Kimbob;
thank you so much for the read and your thoughtful review. Its funny how memories will come to us at certain times, isn't it?

Your reference to Cher's song prompted me to add the video to the notes of the poem. (I just learned how to embed a video - super excited.)

~patty~

reply by Father Flaps on 06-Oct-2017

I wish I knew how to present a poem like Dean Kuch does. So impressive. I don't even know how to add a song.

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Believe it or not - adding a song is easier than I thought.
When you are in youtube; you can see the name of the video you chose to the right. Click that open, and you will see a 'Share' link. If you double click there, you will get a screen with the code on the right hand side with the word, EMBED, below it. Click there, and the complete HTML code comes up. Cut and paste the HTML code into your Author Notes and the YouTube video will be there.

reply by Father Flaps on 06-Oct-2017

Thanks so much, Patty. I'll try it!

Comment from RGstar

Excellent

The last line sums this up, Patti, and gives reasoning to what was said before it. So should a short poem be. Excellent.

Wishing you luck with it.
My very best wishes.
RGstar

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi;
Thank you so much for your kind review. I'm honored you found it Excellent, as I admire your work.

Best wishes to you, too,

~patty~

reply by RGstar on 06-Oct-2017

Beautifully done, Patty

Comment from jaded831

Excellent

I try and stay away from those movies, I like them, but I always end up crying. That's fine alone, but I feel embarrassed in front of a crowd. Your poem captures the tone of heart wrenching movies well. Great entry and good luck.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi;
thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Yes, the movies can be a trap and set me up for a good cry. I'm glad I was able to get a good write out of it all,

~patty~

Comment from Asem.inspirations

Excellent

Good morning, Patty:

This is a wonderful post and I know how it is when we really watch a movie that touches our heart and soul. It really inspires the excellence in poetry and writing. This is a very nice post and very relatable. I've been there.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi Tier;

I'm glad you enjoyed this bit sad romance. I was really swept up in the mood of the movie I'd watched.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing,

~patty~

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Nicely done with this Katauta Poem Patty as she remembers a lost love, the smile, the way he felt. Works very well for this form, and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi Valda;

I'm glad you enjoyed this bit sad romance. I was really swept up in the mood of the movie I'd watched.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing,

~patty~

Comment from Liberty Justice

Excellent

Ooh, this poem is so heartfelt filled with longing and desire, and the deep red heart bandaged represents a broken heart that so many of us have experienced. Yes some of us wish we could turn back the hands of time, but some of us wouldn't want to relive some things. lol liberty justice

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi there;

I'm glad you enjoyed this bit sad romance. I was really swept up in the mood of the movie I'd watched.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing,

~patty~

reply by Liberty Justice on 06-Oct-2017

You're so welcome
Mustangpatty.Checkout my
writings and books for
sale also. liberty justice

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

I'm not positive, but I think most of these aren't capitalized. I read a couple poetry sites and there doesn't seem to be much consistency in this. Now, dry your tears and write something! Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi Debbie;

I decided to change it to lower case, just in case the committee has the same thoughts you did.

Thank you for the read, and your attention to the details,

~patty~

Comment from Daniel Silverhawk

Excellent

Sometimes, the shorter the poem, the more difficult it is to write a review. Naturally, there are no obvious mistakes or spelling errors. So I must only be prepared to review the poem as a whole.
A wanting to turn back time directly correlates with a longing to see their smile and to hold them. The most tender memories are often the most painful. But without those memories, it would be impossible to grow.
Love the color scheme and the chosen art

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi Daniel;

I'm glad you enjoyed this bit sad romance. I was really swept up in the mood of the movie I'd watched.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing,

~patty~

Comment from angel123

Excellent

Your love poem is endearing and well received. I enjoyed reading it and it flows well with sentiments of love. Your artwork choice goes well with your message.

angel123

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi there;

I'm glad you enjoyed this bit sad romance. I was really swept up in the mood of the movie I'd watched.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing,

~patty~

Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

You say not biographical but for someone it is and hopefully they don't feel so alone with this. I can't imagine loosing my husband and not being able to feel his touch or hear him tell me how beautiful I am. And how cuddling can make all of life's stress melt away. I can't imagine. I'm glad this came from just a movie friend.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017

Hi;
thank you for reading and reviewing. I can't imagine losing my husband, either. There are so many here who have, and my heart breaks.

~patty~