Neon Billboard
Just a memory39 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written family poem. The little kids around the table with starry eyes and beautiful smiles. A perfect picture of a happy family having fun together.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2017
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A very well-written family poem. The little kids around the table with starry eyes and beautiful smiles. A perfect picture of a happy family having fun together.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2017
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Thank you for reading and commenting in this work.
Comment from Oatmeal
Short and sweet ...just like I like them! Nicely effective and impressive. Very well reflected thoughts and expressions. Telling things very plainly and compre-
hensibly.
It's a very clean piece. I saw no typos or SPAG.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2017
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Short and sweet ...just like I like them! Nicely effective and impressive. Very well reflected thoughts and expressions. Telling things very plainly and compre-
hensibly.
It's a very clean piece. I saw no typos or SPAG.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2017
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Hi Oatmeal! Great to hear from you. Thank you for reading and commenting in my work through my years in FS.
Comment from DonandVicki
The cubist style artwork complements your poem, which in itself opens the imagination. This is what all good poetry should do. Well done, Don and Vicki.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
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The cubist style artwork complements your poem, which in itself opens the imagination. This is what all good poetry should do. Well done, Don and Vicki.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
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Thank you for reading my work and your fabulous comments. Sorry I am a little late.
Comment from lyenochka
I like the metaphor of bright shiny neon lights for memories that grab our attention. Those days when children were little and the small joys of daily life are definitely worth remembering!
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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I like the metaphor of bright shiny neon lights for memories that grab our attention. Those days when children were little and the small joys of daily life are definitely worth remembering!
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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Thank you for readding and commenting in my work.
Comment from beizanten
A great and well written poetry, I like each paragraph.
My fav:
Full table, loud kids
When their arms were little and their smiles were sunny.
Buttery hot biscuits bounce on their hands.
Sun on the patio, a butterfly to catch!
And a calm breeze on my face.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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A great and well written poetry, I like each paragraph.
My fav:
Full table, loud kids
When their arms were little and their smiles were sunny.
Buttery hot biscuits bounce on their hands.
Sun on the patio, a butterfly to catch!
And a calm breeze on my face.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much for your gracious comments in this piece.
Comment from Lucian Carter
I like it, but family is hardly the focus. That may hurt it in the contest. I like the billboard analogy. "Nothing evening" is also intriguing. What makes a nothing evening? One can only ponder.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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I like it, but family is hardly the focus. That may hurt it in the contest. I like the billboard analogy. "Nothing evening" is also intriguing. What makes a nothing evening? One can only ponder.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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Thank you for reading this work and your comments in the billboard and "nothing evening." Very special.
Comment from Hopefully oppressed
It definitely makes me think of an evening at home with my wife and kids. it also reminds me that my kids are growing up, bitter sweet. I do not understand the warning. "The author has placed a warning on this post for sexual content."
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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It definitely makes me think of an evening at home with my wife and kids. it also reminds me that my kids are growing up, bitter sweet. I do not understand the warning. "The author has placed a warning on this post for sexual content."
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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Thank you for reading my work with much attention. The warning about sexual content was my mistake, I didn't notice it.
Comment from poetwatch
Wow! You painted a picture, a memory of love. I find no error in this poem but feelings and memories of my own. You did a great job, a poem of merit. Good luck on the contest. I like it very much.
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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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Wow! You painted a picture, a memory of love. I find no error in this poem but feelings and memories of my own. You did a great job, a poem of merit. Good luck on the contest. I like it very much.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much for liking this poem. Your words mean a lot to me.
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It is beautiful and a pleasure to read.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
I enjoyed this family kind of memory however, there was no sex that I could see so maybe I've misinterpreted what it is your wrote about. Good luck in your contest. xoxo Kiwi
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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I enjoyed this family kind of memory however, there was no sex that I could see so maybe I've misinterpreted what it is your wrote about. Good luck in your contest. xoxo Kiwi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much for reading my work some time ago. Sorry I am a little late.
