Unleashed Chaos
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "His Curse/Part Two"A Novel of the Breedline Series
5 total reviews
Comment from apky
As usual, your brilliant writing is getting better and better. There was virtually nothing for me to correct, no spags whatsoever.
Delightful work!
There was something about the look on Victor's eyes that struck a chord within Casey as he nervously fiddled with his napkin(add , because it was Casey feeling caged, not the napkin) feeling caged and tense.
The day I escaped(,) the facility I was being held captive, was destroyed.
No way would he want her stressed over the nightmares he'd been having, especially in her condition. ~ Just a question to satisfy my curiosity: Is Tessa pregnant? I ask because you mention "especially in her condition".
Forget the above questios; as I read farther down, my question was ansered.
Ever fondly,
Aki
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017
  |
As usual, your brilliant writing is getting better and better. There was virtually nothing for me to correct, no spags whatsoever.
Delightful work!
There was something about the look on Victor's eyes that struck a chord within Casey as he nervously fiddled with his napkin(add , because it was Casey feeling caged, not the napkin) feeling caged and tense.
The day I escaped(,) the facility I was being held captive, was destroyed.
No way would he want her stressed over the nightmares he'd been having, especially in her condition. ~ Just a question to satisfy my curiosity: Is Tessa pregnant? I ask because you mention "especially in her condition".
Forget the above questios; as I read farther down, my question was ansered.
Ever fondly,
Aki
Comment Written 04-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017
-
Thank you so much! :)
I appreciate all your kind words and as always... your great eye. You make the difference. It's so nice to learn from other people. I have grown so much as a writer just from other author's here on FanStory. I am truly blessed to have met you. Thanks for taking the time to read my chapters and give me so much advice.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
Comment from MTF1955
I totally loved this installment. It's the first I'm reading this but you transported me into their story and now I'll have to follow along. A great and powerful read. Mary
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017
 |
I totally loved this installment. It's the first I'm reading this but you transported me into their story and now I'll have to follow along. A great and powerful read. Mary
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017
-
Thank you, Mary :)
I'm inspired to hear you enjoyed this chapter. Your feedback made my day! Positive words encourages me to keep writing about my Breedline adventures. Hope to hear from you again.
Shana :)
Comment from ngage
The Breedline have a lot going on Ms Shana. I don't know how you manage it, but the different character scenes really flow together. How do you keep up with all your characters? You do a fantastic job.
With Casey's ability to get into someone's thoughts, he's now found out Lila had a dream or vision of what he really is and her father is thinking of Casey's deceased mother. Now you have me wondering what he wants to talk about that's so private.
Moving on to Jace. I wonder if he is having visions of Tessa's death since Lilith wants her dead?
The last part was a great cliffhanger. So Arius has took off using his ability to use a portal and took Natalie with him? Very interesting. I can't wait to read your next post. Great job!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
|
The Breedline have a lot going on Ms Shana. I don't know how you manage it, but the different character scenes really flow together. How do you keep up with all your characters? You do a fantastic job.
With Casey's ability to get into someone's thoughts, he's now found out Lila had a dream or vision of what he really is and her father is thinking of Casey's deceased mother. Now you have me wondering what he wants to talk about that's so private.
Moving on to Jace. I wonder if he is having visions of Tessa's death since Lilith wants her dead?
The last part was a great cliffhanger. So Arius has took off using his ability to use a portal and took Natalie with him? Very interesting. I can't wait to read your next post. Great job!
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
-
Thank you my dear friend :)
You do a great job inspiring me with all your dedication keeping up with my characters. You're awesome! Yes, the Breedline have a lot going on. Their life is never a dull moment.
Thank you again for always taking the time to read my chapters and the lovely rating and feedback.
Shana :)
BTW... I do keep a character list just in case. :)
Comment from royowen
I wonder how and why Arius and Natalie an aged to just vaniish, of course we know they've been taken by Sebastion. Poor Jace is quite obviously having prophetic dreams concerning Tessa, and we also know Lilith wants Tessa dealt with. Poor Steven, they obviously want him, he's probably an important ingredient to their plans. Well done Shana, excellent episode, wonderfully written, blessings, Roy
Typo : two blond, blue (eyes) boys. Eyed?
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
|
I wonder how and why Arius and Natalie an aged to just vaniish, of course we know they've been taken by Sebastion. Poor Jace is quite obviously having prophetic dreams concerning Tessa, and we also know Lilith wants Tessa dealt with. Poor Steven, they obviously want him, he's probably an important ingredient to their plans. Well done Shana, excellent episode, wonderfully written, blessings, Roy
Typo : two blond, blue (eyes) boys. Eyed?
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
-
Wow! Thank you Roy :)
I was hoping my chapter wouldn't be confusing. There is a lot going on with the Breedline adventures. Stay tuned to find out where little Arius and Natalie went off to. Did Sebastian take them, or are they being mischievous? :)
I was inspired to write about Jace's dreams of Tessa's death with my own experiences. I do have similar things happen to me in dreams. When I'm real close to someone, I dream of something that has happened in their past that no one knows about. Sometimes it scares my fiancé. LOL! I call them visions, kind of like what Jace is going through, except he is seeing things of might come in the future.
I want to let you know I really appreciate all your time you take to read my chapters. You have stuck by me for a long time now. I can't express the gratitude I have. You're a blessing and an inspiration.
Thank you for catching my typo too! I need those extra set of eyes.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
-
You have depths dear dear girl. Good scribing
Comment from beizanten
interesting previous chapter summary. A very long yet interesting plotline. You describe the character action and emotion well bringing your character to life. Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
|
interesting previous chapter summary. A very long yet interesting plotline. You describe the character action and emotion well bringing your character to life. Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
-
Thank you so much! :)
This chapter was a bit long, and I was hoping it wouldn't be confusing. I appreciate your time in reading my chapter. Your fabulous rating and positive feedback is encouraging to me.
Shana :)
