The Waiting Room
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Getting to Know You"waiting our turn to have our special time with Him
34 total reviews
Comment from Angela VA
I'm curious to see where you'll go with this. Here's one correction you can make: This sentence, "Flipping her long, dark hair over her shoulder, Janelle, watched as the group started to gather and grab a seat." The comma after "Janelle" doesn't fit. I look forward to the next installment.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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I'm curious to see where you'll go with this. Here's one correction you can make: This sentence, "Flipping her long, dark hair over her shoulder, Janelle, watched as the group started to gather and grab a seat." The comma after "Janelle" doesn't fit. I look forward to the next installment.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi Angela;
(thanks for catching the stray comma-I fixed it.) I'm working on the next chapter and it should be out by Sunday. I hope you will enjoy it,
~patty~
Comment from lyenochka
It's starting to get interesting as we get the introductions and learn more about the characters. I like the interesting "machines" you described. Each could have been a chapter in itself. I am wondering why the Buddhist says he's anxious to meet "the big guy" as Buddhists don't believe in a singular God and ultimate successful life is the end of existence - nirvana instead of constant reincarnation.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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It's starting to get interesting as we get the introductions and learn more about the characters. I like the interesting "machines" you described. Each could have been a chapter in itself. I am wondering why the Buddhist says he's anxious to meet "the big guy" as Buddhists don't believe in a singular God and ultimate successful life is the end of existence - nirvana instead of constant reincarnation.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi there;
I think the Buddhist is trying to fit in. He is feeling a bit 'different,' but we will see his personal belief system in the chapter about him. The machines will be more defined, too. Everything has its time. I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far,
~patty~
Comment from Sallyo
This post certainly held my interest. I'm not sure of the POV as it seems to be omniscient which is unusual these days. Author's view, probably. And Author (who may not be you) doesn't think much of Nosey. The story is developing nicely and I'm glad I found it fairly near the beginning.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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This post certainly held my interest. I'm not sure of the POV as it seems to be omniscient which is unusual these days. Author's view, probably. And Author (who may not be you) doesn't think much of Nosey. The story is developing nicely and I'm glad I found it fairly near the beginning.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi there;
I really appreciate the omniscient POV, since it allows me to give the reader as much information as possible when the entire group is involved in the chapter. I like having the reader to know everything, where maybe the individual characters may not. In the coming chapters, we will get to know each soul individually, as well learn more about the 'machines.'
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing,
~patty~
Comment from Brigitte Elko
Any writing that I submit will pale in comparison to what you have achieved with this chapter. It is a " can't put down" selection. Excellently penned and grammatically beyond reproach. The characters are interesting and vividly described without being boring. This reader was "hooked" from the beginning to the end of the chapter. The highest praise to you mustangpatty1958. If I had to choose, this would be the winner.
P.S. opined sent me to the dictionary, thank you, you just increased my vocabulary.
Regards,
Brigitte
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Any writing that I submit will pale in comparison to what you have achieved with this chapter. It is a " can't put down" selection. Excellently penned and grammatically beyond reproach. The characters are interesting and vividly described without being boring. This reader was "hooked" from the beginning to the end of the chapter. The highest praise to you mustangpatty1958. If I had to choose, this would be the winner.
P.S. opined sent me to the dictionary, thank you, you just increased my vocabulary.
Regards,
Brigitte
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Wow - from the EXCEPTIONAL rating to your wonderful praise, I would say you have made my day. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. I do thank you from the bottom of my heart - your comments were breath-taking,
~patty~
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Yes, Now that they know each other they will probably judge them. It is a human fault. This is an interesting story Patty and one I intend to follow. It is a very good collection of the different Religions. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Yes, Now that they know each other they will probably judge them. It is a human fault. This is an interesting story Patty and one I intend to follow. It is a very good collection of the different Religions. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Hi Nancy;
thank you so much for continuing to follow this story. I am really getting into the story line now, and I think I will have to keep writing while the iron is hot. I'm not sure how long it will be, but I intend for each of the remaining character to get their own chapter, so we can learn about them, their belief system, and their thoughts about what's coming, the others...
~patty~
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Patty,
This is another interesting chapter about the waiting room to see God. I think it's a unique story and it takes a lot of imagination. It was cool to get to know all the people.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Hello, Patty,
This is another interesting chapter about the waiting room to see God. I think it's a unique story and it takes a lot of imagination. It was cool to get to know all the people.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Hi Gypsy;
thank you so much for continuing to follow along. I had a good time putting this chapter together, and I've been working on the rest of the story today - I want to finish while the piece is flowing.
I appreciate your time,
~patty~
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Wow I truly love your imagination and you are so right, it is like a test because it is nature to start to judge and wonder if you are better than the nextperson.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Wow I truly love your imagination and you are so right, it is like a test because it is nature to start to judge and wonder if you are better than the nextperson.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Hi Barb;
thank you so much for continuing to follow this story. I'm glad you are enjoying it, and can see where I'm taking the characters.
~patty~
Comment from royowen
I love that scripture, human beings tend to live a life in a meritocracy, an elitist posture, (much like the world) and by enlarge so do church folk. However, there are those that genuinely live a truly Godly life, simple folk who are not judgemental, have a vast knowledge of scripture, and are pastoral,in nature, there are enough to keep me grounded in the truth. But I do like your series you've thought long and hard, and though it's a generalisation, it is what people would think is truth. But if I were the devil, I'd convince people, this is the truth. Hence a non functioning society each man thinking his is the right wisdom. Well done Patty, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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I love that scripture, human beings tend to live a life in a meritocracy, an elitist posture, (much like the world) and by enlarge so do church folk. However, there are those that genuinely live a truly Godly life, simple folk who are not judgemental, have a vast knowledge of scripture, and are pastoral,in nature, there are enough to keep me grounded in the truth. But I do like your series you've thought long and hard, and though it's a generalisation, it is what people would think is truth. But if I were the devil, I'd convince people, this is the truth. Hence a non functioning society each man thinking his is the right wisdom. Well done Patty, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Hi Roy; wouldn't the devil have a good time with this journey I'm on to write this story. I want so much to make this positive, but I also want to keep it realistic.
Thank you so much for continuing to follow along,
~patty~
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Good scribing girl
Comment from BeasPeas
Who knows what will happen when we cross over, but I like your take on the waiting room. It's true that waiting with strangers prompts each to start a conversation. It's happened to me many times. Well written and interesting. Marilyn
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Who knows what will happen when we cross over, but I like your take on the waiting room. It's true that waiting with strangers prompts each to start a conversation. It's happened to me many times. Well written and interesting. Marilyn
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Hi there;
thank you so much for reading this chapter of the story. I'm having a great deal of fun with my vision of what it will be like when the time comes. I'm glad you are enjoying it,
~patty~
Comment from c_lucas
It is time for the members of the group to meet the Creator. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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It is time for the members of the group to meet the Creator. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Hi Charlie;
thank you so much for reading and reviewing. The big guy will make His appearance in the story in due time,
~patty~
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You're welcome, Patty. Charlie
