United VS Disunited
United we stand and divided we fall.62 total reviews
Comment from RoDanni
The world has become a crazy dangerous place, and you have captured that in your poem. And our master of ceremonies is a madman! If we don't all start pulling forward together, the world as we know it is over. Scaaaary poem. Very relatable today.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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The world has become a crazy dangerous place, and you have captured that in your poem. And our master of ceremonies is a madman! If we don't all start pulling forward together, the world as we know it is over. Scaaaary poem. Very relatable today.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Thank you very much, and extremely sorry for the delay caused by my sudden illness.
~ RP
Comment from R.A.Partin
In my opinion, this sums up the nuclear crisis pretty well. This poem does not do well for my anxiety over what might happen at a later date (my family doesn't live very far from Seattle). Still, it was a good poem with a theme saying that we all need to come together and stop someone from making a mistake that would kill us all (at least that's what I got out of it). Good job.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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In my opinion, this sums up the nuclear crisis pretty well. This poem does not do well for my anxiety over what might happen at a later date (my family doesn't live very far from Seattle). Still, it was a good poem with a theme saying that we all need to come together and stop someone from making a mistake that would kill us all (at least that's what I got out of it). Good job.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Thank you very much, and extremely sorry for the delay caused by my sudden illness.
~ RP
Comment from crzypnter
This poem has very vivid imagery and your picture complements the poem Well. It's very scary the world we live in today when there are such madmen out there. Thanks for sharing. God bless
August
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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This poem has very vivid imagery and your picture complements the poem Well. It's very scary the world we live in today when there are such madmen out there. Thanks for sharing. God bless
August
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Thank you very much, and extremely sorry for the delay caused by my sudden illness.
~ RP
Comment from Keith Pennington
For me it did not express the effects of a nuclear bomb. The horror and disintegration of people and buildings is not a factor. Also the rhyming is too simplistic and is not effective e.g. group & troops , upward -downward--the latter rhyme but the stanza is quite simplistic for an A-Bomb or H-Bomb explosiion.
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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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For me it did not express the effects of a nuclear bomb. The horror and disintegration of people and buildings is not a factor. Also the rhyming is too simplistic and is not effective e.g. group & troops , upward -downward--the latter rhyme but the stanza is quite simplistic for an A-Bomb or H-Bomb explosiion.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Thank you.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
It's hard to imagine that the world can be destroyed so easily. Kim Jung Un is a disaster waiting to happen, but we seem content to wait. His treats are endless.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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It's hard to imagine that the world can be destroyed so easily. Kim Jung Un is a disaster waiting to happen, but we seem content to wait. His treats are endless.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
-
Thank you very much, and extremely sorry for the delay caused by my sudden illness.
~ RP
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with this contest entry. Even if no contest, your post is so timely. We all have to live [or not] on this planet.
Good job with the ABAB as required by the rules. Your lines flow well with a scary scenario if this idea is left unchecked. What is the answer? Who knows. But it will affect us all. Best wishes in the contest. Jan
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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You did a great job with this contest entry. Even if no contest, your post is so timely. We all have to live [or not] on this planet.
Good job with the ABAB as required by the rules. Your lines flow well with a scary scenario if this idea is left unchecked. What is the answer? Who knows. But it will affect us all. Best wishes in the contest. Jan
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Hello Jan,
Thank you very much for your so lovely words and Best Wishes. I'm extremely sorry for the delay caused by my sudden illness.
~ RP
Comment from krys123
Cheers, RP Saxena;
-while reading your poem, I was thrown into despair, realizing that in any moment a nuclear blast could happen near my city or town. This frightening forethought created and anxiety while reading your poems intent description that was demonstratively imagined and vividly expressed in a subtle way of a fearful understanding that war is eminent with a madman at the helm.
-The enjambment flow smoothly throughout the writing due to the rhyming and rhythm of your poem where you rhyming words were contingent to and supportive to the meaning and concept of each and every line.
-A good picture to help support and make relative the conceptual theme of your poem.
-Thank you for sharing and take care and have a good one my friend.
Alex
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Cheers, RP Saxena;
-while reading your poem, I was thrown into despair, realizing that in any moment a nuclear blast could happen near my city or town. This frightening forethought created and anxiety while reading your poems intent description that was demonstratively imagined and vividly expressed in a subtle way of a fearful understanding that war is eminent with a madman at the helm.
-The enjambment flow smoothly throughout the writing due to the rhyming and rhythm of your poem where you rhyming words were contingent to and supportive to the meaning and concept of each and every line.
-A good picture to help support and make relative the conceptual theme of your poem.
-Thank you for sharing and take care and have a good one my friend.
Alex
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Hello Alex,
Thank you very much for your so lovely word, and extremely sorry for the delay caused by my sudden illness.
~ RP
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I'm sorry to hear about your sudden illness RPSaxena and I hope you're feeling much better.
Alex
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Alex, Really very glad to read your so lovely words. Thanks a lot for the detailed review and your concern about my health.
I'm hale and hearty now. With best wishes,
RP
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I'm glad to hear you're doing well by your health, RP.
And you are very welcome for the review. Take care and may peace and harmony be always with you.
Alex
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Thank you, Alex.
Comment from fastdigits
A stark commentary of the world today poetically expressed in poetic flare as your words dance down the page whispering far greater sense than the worldly leaders of our globe.
Well done and good luck
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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A stark commentary of the world today poetically expressed in poetic flare as your words dance down the page whispering far greater sense than the worldly leaders of our globe.
Well done and good luck
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Thank you very much for your so lovely words and Good Luck Wishes. I'm extremely sorry for the delay caused by my sudden illness.
~ RP
Comment from Sanku
That is a very true commentary on the current state of affairs
as the science is advancing ,our hearts are contracting. We ar becoming more and more narrow minded.
Your rhymes are dot according to the rules
All the best for the contes.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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That is a very true commentary on the current state of affairs
as the science is advancing ,our hearts are contracting. We ar becoming more and more narrow minded.
Your rhymes are dot according to the rules
All the best for the contes.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Hello Sanku,
Thank you very much for your lovely words and Best Wishes. I'm extremely sorry for the delay caused by my sudden illness.
~ RP
Comment from estory
I can sense the concerns in your voice here, the anxiety, the tension, the uncertainty. There is a tightness to the meter that lends itself to your theme. But I have to wonder if it would be better in free verse, in a more conversational tone, with a news like staccato of images to hammer home the mood. Just something for you to consider. estory
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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I can sense the concerns in your voice here, the anxiety, the tension, the uncertainty. There is a tightness to the meter that lends itself to your theme. But I have to wonder if it would be better in free verse, in a more conversational tone, with a news like staccato of images to hammer home the mood. Just something for you to consider. estory
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
-
Thank you very much, and extremely sorry for the delay caused by my sudden illness.
~ RP
