Broken-Hearted Bar Boy Blues
free verse57 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
The Queen Of The Silver Dollar gets Prettier At Closing Time, and many a chewed off leg has been left under her pillow. Lots of prompts with disquals would be pleased with this excellent free verse.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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The Queen Of The Silver Dollar gets Prettier At Closing Time, and many a chewed off leg has been left under her pillow. Lots of prompts with disquals would be pleased with this excellent free verse.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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HA! I wondered where my leg went ...
Pleased you enjoyed. I try to make a competition where we can just write whatever we want and let folks decide. Well, actually, I hate rules. LOL mike
Comment from GWHARGIS
Love the serpentine flow. I liked the minute by minute . Your poem made me visualize a smoky barroom with the sticky bar top. I had to laugh at the author notes. Leaving early to go home and write the poem. Your rhythm was great and the details were perfect. Gretchen
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Love the serpentine flow. I liked the minute by minute . Your poem made me visualize a smoky barroom with the sticky bar top. I had to laugh at the author notes. Leaving early to go home and write the poem. Your rhythm was great and the details were perfect. Gretchen
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Aww, Gretchen. You're too kind. Words to make me smile. Yep, I knew I was a little nuts on the way home knowing I was leaving to write a poem. Oh well, whatever the evening would've brought would be gone. The POEM lives forever! LOL mike
Comment from BOO ghost
Pretty presentation. BOO's favorite lines: I am ...
she had hair darker than night
emerald eyes that
chased the sun behind clouds
for cover
and I know
no other will ever do ...
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Pretty presentation. BOO's favorite lines: I am ...
she had hair darker than night
emerald eyes that
chased the sun behind clouds
for cover
and I know
no other will ever do ...
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Hey there, Boo
You're being more ghostly than ever these days. Maybe I'll catch up with you via e-mail. Thanks for the doubloons. :)) L.K.
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Yep, BOO is writing a novel offline. I get a lot more accomplished and can have as many characters as I like. I only give six reviews and vote on occasion. See ya' on e mail. I got a good novel in the works. One not seen. BOO!
Comment from DonandVicki
It seems like I have been in a bar like this a time or two in the past. Your free verse poem flowed very smoothly and made me feel as if I had experienced this in my past.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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It seems like I have been in a bar like this a time or two in the past. Your free verse poem flowed very smoothly and made me feel as if I had experienced this in my past.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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It never changes, does it? As soon as I walk in the door, it's totally familiar. Thanks a million. mike
Comment from Oatmeal
MICHAELCAHILL,
You did a wonderful job with the challenge that you chose. The flow was very nice. The theme was well thought out. Your arrangement here is very creative. The artwork complemented your poem. I wish you the best in the contest.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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MICHAELCAHILL,
You did a wonderful job with the challenge that you chose. The flow was very nice. The theme was well thought out. Your arrangement here is very creative. The artwork complemented your poem. I wish you the best in the contest.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Thanks Ms. Oatmeal
Your reviews always make me smile. Love you too. :)) mike
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, well, I didn't understand this one at all, but I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed the delivery, and the read was easy and smooth in construction and movement...
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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In my opinion, well, I didn't understand this one at all, but I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed the delivery, and the read was easy and smooth in construction and movement...
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Sometimes in a LOOOOONG free verse it's just a lot of scenes and if you get some feelings from it, that's enough. Just a guy in a bar meeting someone and some of the thoughts in their head. It does have a lack of order and that makes it hard to follow. Thanks for taking the time to read and giving honest feedback. mike
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You are most welcome, Mike, and I very much appreciate your explanation. Sorry for my lackluster review...Eve
Comment from Nika2016
A soliloquy of sadness...
"Many a king has overestimated the pomp of his circumstance"...smile...
Vengeance....? I think in his inebriated state he believes she is answering him...but the words are beautifully whimsical...from both...
An enjoyable poem ...
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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A soliloquy of sadness...
"Many a king has overestimated the pomp of his circumstance"...smile...
Vengeance....? I think in his inebriated state he believes she is answering him...but the words are beautifully whimsical...from both...
An enjoyable poem ...
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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So pleased you enjoyed, Nika. I'm always delighted when you stop by with your insightful words. Thanks so much. AND for the sky full of stars as well. mike
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:) Mr. Cahill ...you make me smile...:)
Comment from Angela VA
I like the way you used the freedom in the contest to arrange your words creatively and effectively. Your poem shares strong emotion well. I'm sorry that it apparently reflects your reality.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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I like the way you used the freedom in the contest to arrange your words creatively and effectively. Your poem shares strong emotion well. I'm sorry that it apparently reflects your reality.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Aww, you're so sweet to be concerned. Naw, I'm okay. Sometimes we'll take a little moment and make a LOOOONG poem out of it. LOL It's also memories from the past and just watching people too. All that thrown together. I'm still smiling. Thanks so much for a detailed look and caring. :)) mike
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Beautifully written with wonderful imagery and story. Love the author notes as well!!! We are most certainly a twisted bunch. No doubt about that, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Beautifully written with wonderful imagery and story. Love the author notes as well!!! We are most certainly a twisted bunch. No doubt about that, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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I DID feel a little nuts driving home. LOL
Great to hear from you. Jeesh. I need to set some time aside and review and answer these. I do sneak around and read. Of course, you're always on my list. Thanks a million, mike
Comment from apky
Nothing amiss with leaving the bar alone. Depending on why you went there and if you went there alone or in some company.
Jokes aside, I found your piece simply wonderful right from the opening description. Amazing accuracy with that one too. Being dumped is nobody idea of a good life. I also doff my hat at your style, Michael. You always amaze me with that as well.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Nothing amiss with leaving the bar alone. Depending on why you went there and if you went there alone or in some company.
Jokes aside, I found your piece simply wonderful right from the opening description. Amazing accuracy with that one too. Being dumped is nobody idea of a good life. I also doff my hat at your style, Michael. You always amaze me with that as well.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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You're way too kind. I read you're work all the time. I wish I could set more time aside to review and be a decent fan. But I am honored by your words. They mean all the more coming from you. Thanks a million, mike :))
