Broken-Hearted Bar Boy Blues
free verse57 total reviews
Comment from fastdigits
An artistic presentation of a heart that has been broken told in brilliant monologue from the dark bowls of a bar relating all the scars that have creased your heart and the looking of escape from the rim of shot glass.
Well done and good luck
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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An artistic presentation of a heart that has been broken told in brilliant monologue from the dark bowls of a bar relating all the scars that have creased your heart and the looking of escape from the rim of shot glass.
Well done and good luck
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Hey, it's been a while.
I haven't been around much, so I'm pleased to get one of your great insightful and poetic reviews. Thanks a million. mike
Comment from Sanku
Reading is was an experience. the presentation reminded me of a bar that I have seen in many movies with darkness punctuaed by colourful lights. The red letters are all of revengeful thoughts,The blue ones are of heartbreaking acceptances of the inevitability.the pink one ,I am not sure but they surely are erotic thoughts of the man. The bar stol and the icecubes applauding sounds can give hallucination of being a king and hence capable of revenge. But in the end some sense prevails against unhealthy vengefulness and they leave the bar alone with some sanity intact.
there is sorrow through out and anger at that sorrow.(I hope I have not gone too much away from from your original meaning)
your poems are always presented differently and it adds to the enjoyment of reading them.
but i think there is always a chance that the colour and format can distracts the reader away from the words .
Good luck with the contest
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Reading is was an experience. the presentation reminded me of a bar that I have seen in many movies with darkness punctuaed by colourful lights. The red letters are all of revengeful thoughts,The blue ones are of heartbreaking acceptances of the inevitability.the pink one ,I am not sure but they surely are erotic thoughts of the man. The bar stol and the icecubes applauding sounds can give hallucination of being a king and hence capable of revenge. But in the end some sense prevails against unhealthy vengefulness and they leave the bar alone with some sanity intact.
there is sorrow through out and anger at that sorrow.(I hope I have not gone too much away from from your original meaning)
your poems are always presented differently and it adds to the enjoyment of reading them.
but i think there is always a chance that the colour and format can distracts the reader away from the words .
Good luck with the contest
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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This is an amazing insightful review. You're spot on in your analysis and the depth of your response makes me delighted I wrote this. Thanks a million. One of the best reviews I've received this year. It's wonderful to be understood. mike
Comment from Rasmine
Good poem. I wish you luck in the contest.
The form is cool and really out there.
I have a suggestion:
the floor is sandy
like a beach decimated
by a hurricane
and swept away (maybe no added spaces or is this for effect?)
sorrowful tears are sticky
and impede my footfall
I also like the reference to hurricanes, since all the damage; your poem gave the people suffering some remembrance so we don't forget.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Good poem. I wish you luck in the contest.
The form is cool and really out there.
I have a suggestion:
the floor is sandy
like a beach decimated
by a hurricane
and swept away (maybe no added spaces or is this for effect?)
sorrowful tears are sticky
and impede my footfall
I also like the reference to hurricanes, since all the damage; your poem gave the people suffering some remembrance so we don't forget.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Glad you enjoyed. Yes, the spacing is for effect. Just part of my style to space "away" ... away. It does put some people off though, so maybe I'll rethink doing such things. LOL
Thanks so much. mike
Comment from crzypnter
Hi mikey,
It's been awhile huh... This is a wonderful free verse my friend where you never disappoint. Great alteration and I also liked the colour choices.. Your poem rings true with the bar stool being a throne. I knew many a men that surely would agree. Great job my friend Thanks for sharing. God bless
August
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi mikey,
It's been awhile huh... This is a wonderful free verse my friend where you never disappoint. Great alteration and I also liked the colour choices.. Your poem rings true with the bar stool being a throne. I knew many a men that surely would agree. Great job my friend Thanks for sharing. God bless
August
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hey, August
Great to hear from you. Yep, a while for sure. I do sneak by and read your great work from time to time. I have little free time lately to spend here though. Thanks for the great review. mike
Comment from sandy montgomery
Ahh these are sad words. Your poem captures sp expertly what it's meant to. The angst, the frustration, nerves...it's all there. A human drama spinning out. Very good. Excellent even. Thank you for sharing your work.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Ahh these are sad words. Your poem captures sp expertly what it's meant to. The angst, the frustration, nerves...it's all there. A human drama spinning out. Very good. Excellent even. Thank you for sharing your work.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Wow. You seem to understand my intentions perfectly. I can't ask for more except for you to keep spoiling me with these wonderful generous reviews. Thanks so much, mike
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Broken Hearted Bar Boys Blues", is an exceptionally well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
I look forward to seeing you next post.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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"Broken Hearted Bar Boys Blues", is an exceptionally well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
I look forward to seeing you next post.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Ahh, what lovely words to hear. Thanks so much. mike
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mike, as always you're very welcome.
Best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from GWinterwin
I compliment you on your truthfulness of the situation. It is no doubt hard to relate to others about a time of fun and laughter turning to a time of heartbreak and tears. I was quite a drinker and bar chaser in my younger days and then I met a great woman (not in a bar) and this December we will be married fifty years with four children, ten grandchildren, and four great grandchildren. I have turned my life over to God and I will not judge anyone but I do know the happiness I found after leaving the bar scene.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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I compliment you on your truthfulness of the situation. It is no doubt hard to relate to others about a time of fun and laughter turning to a time of heartbreak and tears. I was quite a drinker and bar chaser in my younger days and then I met a great woman (not in a bar) and this December we will be married fifty years with four children, ten grandchildren, and four great grandchildren. I have turned my life over to God and I will not judge anyone but I do know the happiness I found after leaving the bar scene.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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This is mostly reflections from the past and observations. I don't get out much. LOL
I'm pleased the tone and meaning comes through though. Wow. Fifty years is an amazing accomplishment. Congrats to you. Thanks for a wonderful insightful review. Most appreciated. mike
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Michael,
I love your free verse for the poet's choice 3. The presentation is stunning but you always do a great job.
I like the metaphor you use, like the floor is like a beach decimated by a hurricane and the sorrowful tears are sticky.... I hate sticky floors. And a barstool is a throne
I like the part about the heart on the table... sometimes it feels like I do that and get my heart broken.
Well done honey
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hello, Michael,
I love your free verse for the poet's choice 3. The presentation is stunning but you always do a great job.
I like the metaphor you use, like the floor is like a beach decimated by a hurricane and the sorrowful tears are sticky.... I hate sticky floors. And a barstool is a throne
I like the part about the heart on the table... sometimes it feels like I do that and get my heart broken.
Well done honey
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hey there, Gypsy Queen of the Review That I Needed to Make Me Smile in Spite of My Sadness. :))
I like those lines too. And I especially like that you get the part about the heart on the table, I'm not surprised that you do. It is nice to know SOMEONE gets me. HA! Thanks so much. Irish Hugs, mike
Comment from Wabigoon
Michael--
This has been lauded and applauded so I am fairly free. I like it. I like the feel of it. I like the fell of bar, alcohol, regret, or amplitude, trying to prove. I like that the outcome is never clear. I think you are too "cute." This is a hard, tough poem in a hard, tough place. Wouldn't hurt to describe it a bit. Wouldn't hurt to make the "woman," obscure object a bit clearer or more obscure, meaning maybe she's a Muse? It is a bar poem but I think you resist really making it a bar poem. Stuff like that. And the three colors of print...don't really add much for me.
Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Michael--
This has been lauded and applauded so I am fairly free. I like it. I like the feel of it. I like the fell of bar, alcohol, regret, or amplitude, trying to prove. I like that the outcome is never clear. I think you are too "cute." This is a hard, tough poem in a hard, tough place. Wouldn't hurt to describe it a bit. Wouldn't hurt to make the "woman," obscure object a bit clearer or more obscure, meaning maybe she's a Muse? It is a bar poem but I think you resist really making it a bar poem. Stuff like that. And the three colors of print...don't really add much for me.
Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Jeff--
I appreciate the deep read and insights. Some great ideas that I'll give some serious thought to. I think you may be right. I do have reasons for the colours, but if they don't come across I'd probably be better off to eliminate them. I just may.
Thanks a million, mike
Comment from frogbook
A sad and poignant story of losses and life changes. Sometimes we never get over things and the years passing seem to cover the wounds, then suddenly they are open again. We don't have the capacity to overcome like when we were younger, I guess. Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it. A lovely write that exposed some old regrets.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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A sad and poignant story of losses and life changes. Sometimes we never get over things and the years passing seem to cover the wounds, then suddenly they are open again. We don't have the capacity to overcome like when we were younger, I guess. Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it. A lovely write that exposed some old regrets.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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An excellent thoughtful review. I appreciate the kind words and insights. Thanks so much. mike
