The Shadows Of The Past
No escape from the dark12 total reviews
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Hello again, my friend:
This is another great poem by you. It has a certain sadness and some regret it. I felt a sense of loneliness as I read it. It speaks as if is the truth but I see that you have not categorized it as nonfiction or biographical but as general poetry. If this is just general poetry then it is an exceptionally written poem, very creative and full of imagery. Very nicely done...
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
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Hello again, my friend:
This is another great poem by you. It has a certain sadness and some regret it. I felt a sense of loneliness as I read it. It speaks as if is the truth but I see that you have not categorized it as nonfiction or biographical but as general poetry. If this is just general poetry then it is an exceptionally written poem, very creative and full of imagery. Very nicely done...
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much. I was inspired to write this because of a friends relative who is now old, has many regrets and is slightly bitter. I find it helps when you have a focus to build a story around.
Thanks again for your kind words and review. Those and your time are always appreciated : )
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I knew there was a ring of truth in it. Wonderful!
Comment from BeasPeas
I think your poem is very well written, although I'm not quite sure what happened here. Still, the reader knows that what seemed to start off well didn't end up that way. An interesting piece and I wish you much luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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I think your poem is very well written, although I'm not quite sure what happened here. Still, the reader knows that what seemed to start off well didn't end up that way. An interesting piece and I wish you much luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Thank you for your comments and review. Always appreciated
Comment from His Grayness
I would only recommend changing the third line from :"stole my very breath, to "stole My breath away''
and continue the rhyme instead of losing it. Other than that, I cannot offer anything to improve this fine work and I thank this author for a fine read. HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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I would only recommend changing the third line from :"stole my very breath, to "stole My breath away''
and continue the rhyme instead of losing it. Other than that, I cannot offer anything to improve this fine work and I thank this author for a fine read. HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Thank you for your review and suggestions. I will certainly consider your ideas, they are much appreciated
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Hope that helps and thanks for the reply. His Grayness;
Comment from Hopefully oppressed
very nice!
I like how it made me feel like I was happy with something and then realized I lost it from my own distrust and time. It make me not want to focus so much on the past but look to the future.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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very nice!
I like how it made me feel like I was happy with something and then realized I lost it from my own distrust and time. It make me not want to focus so much on the past but look to the future.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Thank you for your kind review and stars. Much appreciated
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
Wow. What a powerful, poignant poem -- all about the dangers of a long and lasting love that is not returned. I really, really enjoyed it and I believe it will be a very strong contender in the contest. I'm wishing you much good luck in the voting!
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Dear Mystery Writer,
Wow. What a powerful, poignant poem -- all about the dangers of a long and lasting love that is not returned. I really, really enjoyed it and I believe it will be a very strong contender in the contest. I'm wishing you much good luck in the voting!
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much for your kind words and review, both are much appreciated.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem and the love that goes wrong will always leave us with doubt and heartbreak. When we start to forgive the other one and ourselves for what went wrong we will be able to move on and away from the shadows that hold us back.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
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A very well-written poem and the love that goes wrong will always leave us with doubt and heartbreak. When we start to forgive the other one and ourselves for what went wrong we will be able to move on and away from the shadows that hold us back.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
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Thank you so much for your review and for taking the time to read. Much appreciated
Comment from nancyjam
How sad this story is. Beautifully
written though, with nicely rhymed and metered
stanzas.
Heartbreak can change a person, for sure.
nancy
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
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How sad this story is. Beautifully
written though, with nicely rhymed and metered
stanzas.
Heartbreak can change a person, for sure.
nancy
Comment Written 27-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
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Thank you so much for your encouraging review and kind words. Very much appreciated
Comment from B.B. Rose
What a fine poem. The tetrameter is perfect and your rime scheme without strain. The story of love and loss poignant without an overload of sentamentality (though the penultimate stanza was a bit much). One tiny suggestion to change the location of where the lips land in stanza three; Use the brow (or some other place) as you've already used "cheek" in the previous stanza. The second use makes the whole line seem repetitious. Hope this is helpful. B.B. Rose
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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What a fine poem. The tetrameter is perfect and your rime scheme without strain. The story of love and loss poignant without an overload of sentamentality (though the penultimate stanza was a bit much). One tiny suggestion to change the location of where the lips land in stanza three; Use the brow (or some other place) as you've already used "cheek" in the previous stanza. The second use makes the whole line seem repetitious. Hope this is helpful. B.B. Rose
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Thank you so very much for your detailed and helpful review. I completely missed the double use of 'cheek', I believe because I changed the line 2 or 3 times before sharing. I have adjusted this now.
The 6 stars are gratefully received and so much appreciated.
Thank you again
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks memoirs of love and monologue about love over the yesteryears last for years and abruptly love broke off and then life changed in isolation, now shadows still appear; I liked.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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This speaks memoirs of love and monologue about love over the yesteryears last for years and abruptly love broke off and then life changed in isolation, now shadows still appear; I liked.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Thank you so much for your review. It is truly appreciated
Comment from michaelcahill
This is a difficult topic to capture without sounding overly bitter or dramatic. You've done that here beautifully. Your word choices are on the money.
"dallied dreams" is a perfect phrase and I LOVE the repeat near the end. It's horrible to love someone who doesn't love you back, especially when they're wonderful and a great friend. Jeesh. Those interactions that seem like the world, but are only picnics or afternoons at the movies. :))
A great entry and just what I was hoping for. Well done. mike
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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This is a difficult topic to capture without sounding overly bitter or dramatic. You've done that here beautifully. Your word choices are on the money.
"dallied dreams" is a perfect phrase and I LOVE the repeat near the end. It's horrible to love someone who doesn't love you back, especially when they're wonderful and a great friend. Jeesh. Those interactions that seem like the world, but are only picnics or afternoons at the movies. :))
A great entry and just what I was hoping for. Well done. mike
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Wow! Thank you Mike, so grateful for the stars but over the moon they have come from you.
I am truly humbled
