Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Patty,

Well, on to meet the first case...

"I'm really not sure that I'm supposed to be here just yet..." conjectured Mark. - not sold on this speech tag. Reads awkward.

It may be an idea to define who did what in the waiting room. this would add depth and layering to the instalment. maybe some insights into character? Just a thought. This would also be a way of adding more showing over the telling.

If Roger wasn't scared or curious, why were his legs 'shaky'.

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017

Hi G;
so sorry this response is late. I've been working on the writing for editors - so much fun, but a lot of work!

I do appreciate your comments, and when you see the next chapter, you will see the characters being introduced. Hmmm; I will try to find a better speech tag for Mark.

Fixed the line about Roger and his shaky legs,

Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and making great suggestions,

~patty~

Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Hi Patty. It is a different point of view for sure. I didn't know what to expect and I guess I'm still not sure. I'll have to continue reading and see how this one comes out. Well done you. xoxo deborah

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017

Hi Deborah;
thank you so much for your positive comments and thoughts on this tough subject. I'm hoping to present it in a non-threatening way which will simply make people think.
Chapter 4 was posted this morning,

~patty~

Comment from rtobaygo

Excellent

Good morning, Patty
Out of sixes

Strong continuation. I like your take on entering the 'Pearly Gates.' You certainly have a diverse group of individuals. No need to apologize . . . only small-minded individuals would abject. Excellent hook at the end.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017

Hi Ray;
thank you so much for your positive comments and thoughts on this tough subject. I'm hoping to present it in a non-threatening way which will simply make people think.
Chapter 4 was posted this morning, and I'm pretty sure you already reviewed it,

~patty~

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

I love this and I found no problems noted.
A different take on the waiting room and the things they do to prepare themselves for the unknown.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017

Hi Barb;
thank you so much for your positive comments and thoughts on this tough subject. I'm hoping to present it in a non-threatening way which will simply make people think.
Chapter 4 was posted this morning,

~patty~

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Enjoyed the continuation of this book. Since there are only seven people, I felt that the surreal nature of not knowing who said what isn't needed anymore. I want to get to know each character's personality.

Comment:
After this sentence, "As they passed through the door, some of the souls asked him questions or made remarks." there are four quotations which aren't attributed to anyone. I felt like I needed to know who said what. I want to get to know the characters.

I really liked, "picked up the Bible and read as if cramming for a test. " Again, I wish I knew which character it was.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017

hi;
thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate your critique and ideas. I will go back and edit, but I will let you know what I'm going to change - the reader of the Bible is "Nosey," and the first quote is by: Joe, and the second was quipped by Austin, followed by a remark by Mark. The thank you for the door being held was by Janelle.

I went in and made the edits.

I hope you will continue to follow the story. Bartholomew will be around to make observations, and each character profile will now be built.

~patty~

Comment from royowen

Excellent

It's always funny to me, that belief of what happens after death, and what people perceive is either a waiting room, or Peter standing st a gate, and allowing or rejecting, but neither are biblically based. But I know this is tongue in cheek narrative, and a very creative and imaginative one, Patty. I noted that you put "born again" as a separate children, but according to Jesus, there's no other sort of Christian on can be "Unless Ye are born again Ye cannot see the kingdom of God..." John 3:3-5

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017

Hi Roy;
I am in total agreement with you, but the Catholics and Mormons do not believe they are born again through baptism. They see the ceremony as a 'cleansing.' For both religions, it is an induction into the fold of their number. (We all know religions often fail to follow the teachings of the Bible - right? Baptism was a ritual performed by John the Baptist, and only those that consider themselves, 'Born Again' practice the ritual.)

I need to get off the soapbox there -- while this is somewhat tongue in cheek, its based on a number of classes I took at Western Seminary in theology.

~patty~

reply by royowen on 22-Sep-2017

One can never apprehend God through ritual Patty, but only by faith, Ephesians 2:8-9, which requires no works at all, the baptism is merely a physical expression of what occurs inside, otherwise we are just "wet sinners". And no church I have ever attended has practises ritual as a means to an end. Religion is law, (one can't be saved be works) faith is spiritual. Very very simple. Only man complicates that which is not understood! I never came to God in Church, He found me, I didn't find Him, Heaven comes down, (Jesus birth) we can't go up) see simple. Blessings, Roy

reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017

You and I believe much the same, Roy. I'm doing my best to incorporate the thoughts and practices expressed by so many faiths. I've attended many different churches and studied their dogma. I've been blessed to be exposed to all of these things, and still form my own opinions.

~patty~

reply by royowen on 22-Sep-2017

Well done,

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written chapter. We can only guess what will happen when our lives are over here on earth. The Kingdom of God is not far away we just have to look within ourselves.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017

Hi Sandra;
thank you so much for reading and for your comments. I'm enjoying reading each person's viewpoints on this story line.

~patty~

Comment from Bichon

Excellent

Another very interesting part of your novel. I was very excited waiting for this chapter, and it was so worth it. You have a brilliant thing going here Patty!!

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017

Hi Chloe;
thank you so much for continuing to read this project. I hope you enjoy the rest as it comes,

~patty~

Comment from pbomar1115

Excellent

Patty, what a wonderful job, luring me into that stopping point, after death, if there is a place. Well, from your description to the realization of the moment, where a choice or decision is made, I shouted joyfully. I cheerfully look forward to the continuation.

Phillip

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017

Hi Phillip;
thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Yes, I'm only writing from a point of opinion here - without any real proof. After all, what is faith? It is the belief in something we do not have any basis for. And, so I'm putting all of my beliefs out there in hopes that sharing will plant seeds in others,

~patty~

reply by pbomar1115 on 22-Sep-2017

You have been consistent, as far as I can say, the whole time I've read your work. Your sympathetic perspective has not fluctuated.

Phillip

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

It does not matter when your time comes. I don't there is a true message about Heaven and Hell. Each of us creates our own. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017

Hi Charlie;
I'm glad you are enjoying this story. It is my intention to portray my thoughts, along with Biblical quotes. I hope I can plant a few seeds, and fervently pray I do not offend anyone,

~patty~

reply by c_lucas on 22-Sep-2017

It is for the person to decide his emotions. Write On.

reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017

reply by c_lucas on 22-Sep-2017

Cute.