Sea Of Stone
A beginning.13 total reviews
Comment from amada
This is a wonderful beginning to a story that is breathing to be born. Your description are fanstastic. I like the image of a "sea of stone..." It gave me chills. (Yo hablo y escribo en espanol tambien. Es un honor de conocerte. Soy de Chile, la tierra de Pablo Neruda y Gabriela Mistral.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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This is a wonderful beginning to a story that is breathing to be born. Your description are fanstastic. I like the image of a "sea of stone..." It gave me chills. (Yo hablo y escribo en espanol tambien. Es un honor de conocerte. Soy de Chile, la tierra de Pablo Neruda y Gabriela Mistral.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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It's great to meet you, Amada. You have a beautiful name. I have a couple of friends from Chile.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from BeasPeas
Well composed groundwork in this melancholy beginning to your book. I'm pleased, though, that you've chosen to write about it because everyone has a story. So these people may not be forgotten, it will be interesting to read. Picture is overwhelming. Marilyn
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Well composed groundwork in this melancholy beginning to your book. I'm pleased, though, that you've chosen to write about it because everyone has a story. So these people may not be forgotten, it will be interesting to read. Picture is overwhelming. Marilyn
Comment Written 23-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Thanks for reading. I have already written three chapters and I hope I'll continue.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Maria.
Bring it on, mate. I had to scroll back up to see if it was biographical or fiction. I find it waaaay easier to write biographical as I already know the story. My imagination lacks in that area.
Great job and I look forward to it. Sorry I don't have a six.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2017
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G'day Maria.
Bring it on, mate. I had to scroll back up to see if it was biographical or fiction. I find it waaaay easier to write biographical as I already know the story. My imagination lacks in that area.
Great job and I look forward to it. Sorry I don't have a six.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 22-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2017
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It's fiction, but it's based on real facts...
I cannot write about my life as it's not very exciting.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from pbomar1115
For me, this story is sad. From the beginning, I'm made to feel a loss. Then the nursing home, filled with forgotten or loveless people who sit around, melting away what life they have left, confirm the sadness of the piece. I hope this was the goal. Well done if that's the case.
Philip
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017
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For me, this story is sad. From the beginning, I'm made to feel a loss. Then the nursing home, filled with forgotten or loveless people who sit around, melting away what life they have left, confirm the sadness of the piece. I hope this was the goal. Well done if that's the case.
Philip
Comment Written 22-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017
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Yes, this was the goal. There will be happiness as well, but at the beginning I wanted the reader to feel a sense of loss.
Thanks for reading.
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You're welcome.
Phillip
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, Maria: This is a unique start to a story but I thought that you were getting into the story in the first 6 paragraphs. When I started reading the next three paragraphs I thought you were going to continue by telling us Jose's story but it seems that you have started a new one. I guess that is what you meant by:
"I hope it doesn't become one of my many half-finished projects."
I get it now. (lol) good job...
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017
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Good morning, Maria: This is a unique start to a story but I thought that you were getting into the story in the first 6 paragraphs. When I started reading the next three paragraphs I thought you were going to continue by telling us Jose's story but it seems that you have started a new one. I guess that is what you meant by:
"I hope it doesn't become one of my many half-finished projects."
I get it now. (lol) good job...
Comment Written 22-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017
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No, it's just one story, but it's going to be told like that. One chapter will be about one character and the next about the other.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I really like your description - like a sea of stone - it's very apt for the headstones pictured. This is a great beginning Maria for what could be an interesting book. Good luck with it, hope you keep going.
cheers.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017
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I really like your description - like a sea of stone - it's very apt for the headstones pictured. This is a great beginning Maria for what could be an interesting book. Good luck with it, hope you keep going.
cheers.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017
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Thanks for your kind review.
Comment from doggymad
Great introduction to what promises to be a fascinating trip down memory lane.
Like many I realised too late that what my mother had to say was very interesting. Now when an old person speaks, I listen.
I do hope you continue with this one
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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Great introduction to what promises to be a fascinating trip down memory lane.
Like many I realised too late that what my mother had to say was very interesting. Now when an old person speaks, I listen.
I do hope you continue with this one
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 21-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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Thanks for reading, Freda. Big hug.
Comment from patcelaw
My heart aches for those who are in nursing homes and are neglected. Many time the neglect is do to short staffing and it is hard to tend to the patients as well as the caring staff would want for them. Patricia
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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My heart aches for those who are in nursing homes and are neglected. Many time the neglect is do to short staffing and it is hard to tend to the patients as well as the caring staff would want for them. Patricia
Comment Written 21-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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Thanks for your review, Patricia. I agree with you. Itīs very sad.
Comment from robyn corum
MJ,
This is an intriguing beginning. I'm not sure about introducing two main (mystery) characters right off, but I'm willing to read and see how it's done.
I caution you to be sure an streamline your sentences wherever possible, as in the examples below, followed by my suggested edits (which you are welcome to ignore of course!)
-->The sun shines on them and bounces off the sharp marble
--> The sunshine bounces off the sharp marble...
--> That's what you see when you look at it from a distance.
--> That's what you see from a distance...
2.) to help transition from one part to the next, consider:
--> Meanwhile, there's a nursing home in a small village...
Thanks for sharing. Hope you do continue this!!
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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MJ,
This is an intriguing beginning. I'm not sure about introducing two main (mystery) characters right off, but I'm willing to read and see how it's done.
I caution you to be sure an streamline your sentences wherever possible, as in the examples below, followed by my suggested edits (which you are welcome to ignore of course!)
-->The sun shines on them and bounces off the sharp marble
--> The sunshine bounces off the sharp marble...
--> That's what you see when you look at it from a distance.
--> That's what you see from a distance...
2.) to help transition from one part to the next, consider:
--> Meanwhile, there's a nursing home in a small village...
Thanks for sharing. Hope you do continue this!!
Comment Written 21-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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Thanks for your suggestions, Robyn.
Comment from DR DIP
I think it could lead to something. Old people in reminisce have so much to tell funnily enough dementia works in mysterious ways and some can remember vividly their child hood years but can't remember the last 5 mins. Continue Maria.......
dip
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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I think it could lead to something. Old people in reminisce have so much to tell funnily enough dementia works in mysterious ways and some can remember vividly their child hood years but can't remember the last 5 mins. Continue Maria.......
dip
Comment Written 21-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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Thanks for reading, Mark.
