autumn eulogy
Retiring the rake.3 total reviews
Comment from Lucian Carter
Good use of adjectives (beat-up, withering). Gets the point across within the limited word and syllable count. I might suggest adding and apostrophe s to autumn in the last line. It doesn't change the syllables but I think it works a bit better.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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Good use of adjectives (beat-up, withering). Gets the point across within the limited word and syllable count. I might suggest adding and apostrophe s to autumn in the last line. It doesn't change the syllables but I think it works a bit better.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
This 5-7-5 really does give the impression Autumn is on its way, the leaves, the rusty rake and a fantastic last line that is so very clever.
Mitchell
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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This 5-7-5 really does give the impression Autumn is on its way, the leaves, the rusty rake and a fantastic last line that is so very clever.
Mitchell
Comment Written 20-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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thanks for the kind review.
Comment from RodG
I wish I could retire my rake. I like the focus on this one. Good word choice in "Beat-up." Good use of alliteration with "rusty rake." Leaves falling seems to be a eulogy indeed.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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I wish I could retire my rake. I like the focus on this one. Good word choice in "Beat-up." Good use of alliteration with "rusty rake." Leaves falling seems to be a eulogy indeed.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
