The Big Bang
100 Word Story17 total reviews
Comment from damommy
I've always said the Big Ban Theory isn't unthinkable. Who do they think caused it in the first place?
You did a great job telling it in this short piece. 8-)
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I've always said the Big Ban Theory isn't unthinkable. Who do they think caused it in the first place?
You did a great job telling it in this short piece. 8-)
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your Big Bang Theory. I can't imagine any different. This contest entry is well written and tells an entire story and also makes the reviewer pause. Good luck.
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I enjoyed reading your Big Bang Theory. I can't imagine any different. This contest entry is well written and tells an entire story and also makes the reviewer pause. Good luck.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written hundred word fiction. A great story about the creation of the earth. God is spirit and the image of God is the spirit we reveal in ourselves to others.
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A very well-written hundred word fiction. A great story about the creation of the earth. God is spirit and the image of God is the spirit we reveal in ourselves to others.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
Comment from patcelaw
I like this as it shows clearly that the big bang, just did not happen the way so many claim. He created the universe out of the void with His breath. Blessings, Patricia
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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I like this as it shows clearly that the big bang, just did not happen the way so many claim. He created the universe out of the void with His breath. Blessings, Patricia
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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YES! Folks argue so much about this. God could create it all any way he wished, yes? Thanks so much. Blessings to you. Hope your feeling well. mike
Comment from rama devi
Hi Mike! I also entered this contest last minute. I never hear from you in reviews...and I am unsure why--assuming my style is not up your alley. But I think you might enjoy my 100 word post as it is funny, true and out of the box. Just a nudge. No obligation or expectation.
This is an interesting approach to the contest and will likely appeal to FS judges. However, I think it needs a clean up of spag (five stars in advance, as I feel certain you'll do that and consider suggestions).
Also, I think using line breaks for dramatic pause effect would serve this story well.
NOTES
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In the beginning, God gathered all the material of creation together. He breathed upon them(,) causing an explosion of infinite proportions.
Also, since 'material' is singular, it should not be THEM but IT. However, if you make materials plural by adding 's', then THEM fits.
*Life formed from the particles(,) making the Earth.
* Man,(no ,) had free will and sentience.
Good closing note of faith:
When man reached a certain awareness of love, a force recognized by Man as the Son of God appeared to offer redemption from evil. Amen
Warm Smiles,
rd
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Hi Mike! I also entered this contest last minute. I never hear from you in reviews...and I am unsure why--assuming my style is not up your alley. But I think you might enjoy my 100 word post as it is funny, true and out of the box. Just a nudge. No obligation or expectation.
This is an interesting approach to the contest and will likely appeal to FS judges. However, I think it needs a clean up of spag (five stars in advance, as I feel certain you'll do that and consider suggestions).
Also, I think using line breaks for dramatic pause effect would serve this story well.
NOTES
*
In the beginning, God gathered all the material of creation together. He breathed upon them(,) causing an explosion of infinite proportions.
Also, since 'material' is singular, it should not be THEM but IT. However, if you make materials plural by adding 's', then THEM fits.
*Life formed from the particles(,) making the Earth.
* Man,(no ,) had free will and sentience.
Good closing note of faith:
When man reached a certain awareness of love, a force recognized by Man as the Son of God appeared to offer redemption from evil. Amen
Warm Smiles,
rd
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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All fixed. I did fix "materials" beforehand, so edits don't actually show then. You see whatever is posted originally. Hmm ....
Anyway, it's a six now. LOL!! Thanks so much. mike
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I had one six left and gave it to your other poem! :-))) Great posts, Mike. Blessings, rd
Comment from Heather Knight
Very nice story. I don't know if this was your intention, but to me it proves that it's possible to believe in the Bible version and the scientific version of the beginning of the world. They can complement each other.
Good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Very nice story. I don't know if this was your intention, but to me it proves that it's possible to believe in the Bible version and the scientific version of the beginning of the world. They can complement each other.
Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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That is EXACTLY what I intended. Very sharp, Maria. Thanks a million. mike
Comment from DR DIP
Good theory Michael I am sure a lot of big bang theorists and scientists will beg to differ but its a great write so why spoil fact from fiction.
dip
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reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Good theory Michael I am sure a lot of big bang theorists and scientists will beg to differ but its a great write so why spoil fact from fiction.
dip
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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The two theories could coincide, yes? It's something folks argue about all the time. Thought I'd give them something they could call a truce over. LOL
Thanks a million, mike
