Determined Bluebird
A most pesky bird44 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! It's a very smart little bluebird! I'm impressed. Unlike the crazy robin that would attack the reflection of himself on our window every spring, I think your bluebird is much smarter and preferable! Good use of 98 words complete with onomatopoeia words.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Lol! It's a very smart little bluebird! I'm impressed. Unlike the crazy robin that would attack the reflection of himself on our window every spring, I think your bluebird is much smarter and preferable! Good use of 98 words complete with onomatopoeia words.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thank you. Birds can be strange critters at times. LOL
Comment from c_lucas
Move your bird feeder or place a cat on the window sill. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very humorous read. There is good imagery.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Move your bird feeder or place a cat on the window sill. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very humorous read. There is good imagery.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thanks for reading and commenting. I don't really mind the little guy all that much. It made for a good contest story though.
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You're welcome, PBB. Charlie
Comment from Ogden
You have a really cute 100-Word Flash Fiction Contest entry there. (I have the same problem when I'm trying to write, from very close at hand. I'd take "tunk tunk tunk" any time instead of "yak, yak, yak, yak, yak....................."
Good luck with the Committee!
Don (aka Ogden)
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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You have a really cute 100-Word Flash Fiction Contest entry there. (I have the same problem when I'm trying to write, from very close at hand. I'd take "tunk tunk tunk" any time instead of "yak, yak, yak, yak, yak....................."
Good luck with the Committee!
Don (aka Ogden)
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thanks for reading and commenting. I think I would prefer tunk to yak too. LOL
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You are very welcome, pretty one.
Comment from EverInParadise
So clever. How we writers can't stand distraction and yet it is the distractor that gave you this charming piece. You have told this so well I wish I had a 6 star for you. This should do well in the 100 word contest as you were able to keep the story flowing forward. You reached a natural conclusion without rushing the end. May I suggest an different end. "After you have eaten. please go away." This has the same amount of words you used. It offers completion to the distraction.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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So clever. How we writers can't stand distraction and yet it is the distractor that gave you this charming piece. You have told this so well I wish I had a 6 star for you. This should do well in the 100 word contest as you were able to keep the story flowing forward. You reached a natural conclusion without rushing the end. May I suggest an different end. "After you have eaten. please go away." This has the same amount of words you used. It offers completion to the distraction.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thanks for reading and your suggestion. I will take it into consideration and might change the ending. It is meant to show that I was annoyed and wanted the bird to leave me alone.
Comment from BOO ghost
Comical illustration. Tweet - tweet! birds are smart. this is cute: Bluebird tunks on my windowpane, tunk, tunk, tunk. this is funny too. "Ruffled feathers, an angry gleam in your eyes, will get you nowhere. I'm writing and don't wish to be disturbed."
"Look, you have my cats upset. It's impossible to concentrate with all this racket."
Love that!
BOO-tastic!
Image by Cool Text: Free Logos and Buttons - Create An Image Just Like This
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Comical illustration. Tweet - tweet! birds are smart. this is cute: Bluebird tunks on my windowpane, tunk, tunk, tunk. this is funny too. "Ruffled feathers, an angry gleam in your eyes, will get you nowhere. I'm writing and don't wish to be disturbed."
"Look, you have my cats upset. It's impossible to concentrate with all this racket."
Love that!
BOO-tastic!
Image by Cool Text: Free Logos and Buttons - Create An Image Just Like This
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thanks for reading and commenting. I really don't mind the little bird all that much. He did give me the idea for this story. LOL
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May be an angel bird sent from heaven, like the dove in the bible. Who knows, spirits are invisible so could be anywhere. Man is far from terrestrial wisdom.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Prettybluebirds,
Nice piece of Flash Fiction meeting the desired norms and beautifully depicting its theme.
Simple and matching the theme phraseology - a good quality.
Smooth and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
Best of Luck!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Hello Prettybluebirds,
Nice piece of Flash Fiction meeting the desired norms and beautifully depicting its theme.
Simple and matching the theme phraseology - a good quality.
Smooth and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
Best of Luck!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thank you for the six stars and your kind comments. I do love simple and funny stories.
Comment from apky
"It always means the bird feeder is empty. I don't know how a bird figured out something like this, but this one sure did. He is very persistent too."
This wonderful little story reminded me of my own little family of peregine who have made a nest outside the drawing room window. Strange, because peregrines breed chiefly on mountains and coastal cliffs. I don't have the heart to shoo them away anyway, so I took to leaving them seeds when they were off hunting for meat!
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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"It always means the bird feeder is empty. I don't know how a bird figured out something like this, but this one sure did. He is very persistent too."
This wonderful little story reminded me of my own little family of peregine who have made a nest outside the drawing room window. Strange, because peregrines breed chiefly on mountains and coastal cliffs. I don't have the heart to shoo them away anyway, so I took to leaving them seeds when they were off hunting for meat!
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thank you for reading and commenting. That is strange, a bird like that nesting on by your house. Most interesting.
Comment from Bichon
Adorable flash fiction! I can imagine the cute little blue bird fluttering around and pecking at the window. The photo is so precious too! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Adorable flash fiction! I can imagine the cute little blue bird fluttering around and pecking at the window. The photo is so precious too! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thank you. I found the photo in FanArt and knew it was perfect for my writing. I really don't mind the little guy too much and he gave me the idea for this story.
Comment from DR DIP
I have never heard the word Tunk before Pretty, well they reckon you learn something new everyday. Nice little write but they maybe pesky but at the end of the day it's great to have nature around you like that
dip
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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I have never heard the word Tunk before Pretty, well they reckon you learn something new everyday. Nice little write but they maybe pesky but at the end of the day it's great to have nature around you like that
dip
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thank you. My brothers taught me the word tunk. They would rap me on the head and say tunk, tunk. I don't know if it's a real word or not, but it worked for my story.
Comment from mkflood
Very cute and I do thank you for selecting my work. It is an honor to have my work included with yours. Great job on the story and thanks again.. MKFlood
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Very cute and I do thank you for selecting my work. It is an honor to have my work included with yours. Great job on the story and thanks again.. MKFlood
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thanks. I saw your picture and it was perfect for this particular story. I think I may have used the same picture in one of my earlier stories. I do remember seeing it before. I appreciate the use of your artwork.
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i make available over 900 drawings of wide range of topics available to you writers here on fanstory. you have my blessing. if you get the chance stop by Youtube.com and search "MKFlood Presents". there are 19 illustrated music videos with wide range of stories and music. some will make laugh, some will make think, some will make ya tap your foot and some will make ya cry. the admission is free but you have to bring your own snack..mine taste flat..wink.
