Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Patty,

I enjoyed your chapter for the book. You did a great job with the description of the waiting room. I like the 'games' that those waiting will deal with, too. While most would not think of this topic as described, it works. This should be an interesting book. Thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017

Hi Jan;
thank you so much for reading and reviewing and for your supportive comments.

I think you will enjoy this book,

~patty~

Comment from EverInParadise

Excellent

This is very nice and certainly a piece which deserves clear reviewing. I wonder if you place the time in present tense rather than past if it might be an even more impressive read. This would put the reader in real time. "this room is" "Six souls enter". You have given lots of visuals but no sounds. That would round out the picture you are telling us about. Anyway, isn't it fun to dig out something we worked on and bring it back to life.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017

Hi there;
thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate your suggestions for change, and will consider bringing the piece into the present tense.

~patty~

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I must admit I hold no opinion of waiting rooms, as I really don't like judging by outward appearances, even waiting, most I've been to are similar in nature, except for welfare places. Well written Patty, but I do wonder about the the diverse people that visit them, for whatever the need that have. Under the outer garment, we are hoping for similar things. I things, to be loved, to love, a hope and aspiration for the future. Well done, well written, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017

Hi Roy;
thank you for reading and for your insightful comments.

Your continued support of my work is greatly appreciated,

~patty~

reply by royowen on 10-Sep-2017

Welcome Patty

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

Patty, the introduction has me hooked to read on in your story. Believing as I do this could be very exciting and thought provoking as well. Keep writing and I shall keep reading. Patricia

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017

Hi Patricia; I think you will enjoy this story. I have so many ideas, but have managed to condense the story into an outline that is manageable. The next chapters will be coming soon,

~patty~

Comment from doggymad

Excellent

Hi Patty
on a technical level there is nothing that I can see that needs alteration. You have injected enough mystery into this introduction to pique the readers interest.

I will be following this to see if my guesses are correct as to where this is heading

hugs

Freda

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017

Hi Freda;
thank you so much for reading and reviewing this piece. I'm glad that the introduction sets up some mystery. I have played with this idea for so long. I have a strong outline for the rest of the story and three leading chapters - I hope I can get this finished.

~patty~

Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)

Excellent

Overall, the room was perfect. Perfect for waiting. Perfect for spending time before meeting the most perfect human that ever lived. Perfect for waiting for the meeting with Him.'
Although you asked, I am not going to critique your writing- I find it pretty much perfect. What I do want to say is I believe the same things that you express here, and that makes me very happy...a kindred spirit. An amazing write. God bless and kindest regards Meia xxx

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017

Hi Meia;
thank you so much for the loving review of this piece. I hope I'm able to convey how I feel about meeting Him, and the distractions in the waiting room that will keep some people from keeping their appointment.

I'm glad to know we are kindred spirits,

~patty~ xx

Comment from Poetic Friend

Excellent

Patty, this story seems to be be an interesting one. What makes the story so interesting is you don't actually states the type of waiting room (is it hospital waiting room, a doctor's office, etc.). There is a lot of mystery in the story yet to come. The reader wonders who are the souls, who are the characters, where are they waiting, why are they waiting, what is the spiritual connections, etc.

I will do my best to follow this story because I am so curious.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017

Hi there; thank you so much for reading and reviewing this piece. It will be in novel form, so you can either bookcase it, or fan me so that you will be notified when each chapter comes out.

I'm happy to know that the introduction left so many questions in your mind. I think you won't be disappointed as you join me on this journey,

~patty~

Comment from Asem.inspirations

Excellent

Good morning Patty:

So far so good. We all have our own opinions and ideas as to what this kind of meeting would be like so I hope that I don't let my opinion and idea interfere with an honest review. The waiting room is lovely and the description of it makes it a very inviting place.

If we are talking about waiting to meet God then I will simply follow the story and see where it takes me. I know you are an amazing and wonderful writer so I will be anxiously waiting to see this story as it unfolds.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017

Hi Tier;
thank you for the wonderful review of this introduction to my latest project. This story has formed and reformed in the years I've been working on it. I decided to try it out here - one of the Publishers I'm working with wants to see more than the first three chapters and the outline, so I will fill in the framework here.

I hope you enjoy the journey,

~patty~