~ Fall Colors ~
A short poem on Fall (5-3-5)11 total reviews
Comment from Lucian Carter
Interesting Lune. You hit the format perfectly.
The first line I think would work better if you swapped now and coming.
The second line works just fine with just three syllables
I can't figure out what the third line means. Are you missing an apostrophe on seasons?
For a contest, I think this needs a bit of polish. You've chosen a lovely topic and your overall approach is sound. Good luck with it.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
   |
Interesting Lune. You hit the format perfectly.
The first line I think would work better if you swapped now and coming.
The second line works just fine with just three syllables
I can't figure out what the third line means. Are you missing an apostrophe on seasons?
For a contest, I think this needs a bit of polish. You've chosen a lovely topic and your overall approach is sound. Good luck with it.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
-
Thank you
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Lune about fall and its colorful leaves that make the season so beautiful for everyone to admire. Autumn is a wonderful time of the year.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
|
A very well-written Lune about fall and its colorful leaves that make the season so beautiful for everyone to admire. Autumn is a wonderful time of the year.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
-
Thank you so much for the very nice comment and rating.I truly appreciate your kindness
Comment from Cybertron1986
Love the combination of poetry and nature. Your piece fuses both, which is supplemented with vivid imagery and smooth delivery with word order. Beautiful!
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
|
Love the combination of poetry and nature. Your piece fuses both, which is supplemented with vivid imagery and smooth delivery with word order. Beautiful!
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
-
Thank you so very much my friend. I am beyond grateful
Comment from poetwatch
Good Lune. You are a poet of merit to bring to the reader the sight through your eyes. You captured the 5-3-5 perfect. Yet, it lacks something. It doesn't flow like a river rolling down your tongue. Merge your first line to run smoothly with your second line and the last line a sentence of its own. Then again what do I know. I'm still learning. Luck on the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
|
Good Lune. You are a poet of merit to bring to the reader the sight through your eyes. You captured the 5-3-5 perfect. Yet, it lacks something. It doesn't flow like a river rolling down your tongue. Merge your first line to run smoothly with your second line and the last line a sentence of its own. Then again what do I know. I'm still learning. Luck on the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
-
Again, thank you for the helpful comment. I do appreciate your honesty.
Comment from kiwisteveh
I must admit I've never seen fall colours like the ones in your image.
A nice little Lune poem to celebrate the change of season. Here we are just enjoying the start of spring.
You may want to add an apostrophe to 'seasons'
Steve
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
|
I must admit I've never seen fall colours like the ones in your image.
A nice little Lune poem to celebrate the change of season. Here we are just enjoying the start of spring.
You may want to add an apostrophe to 'seasons'
Steve
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
-
Thank you so very much for the great comment and rating. I'm so thankful. Aldo thank you for the lil tip to add an apostrophe. 😊
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Heidixoxo
Nice fall hues in your pix and how nicely you wrote your Lune poem by saying
Fall is now coming
Bright colors
Welcome seasons change
Gert
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2017
|
Hello Heidixoxo
Nice fall hues in your pix and how nicely you wrote your Lune poem by saying
Fall is now coming
Bright colors
Welcome seasons change
Gert
Comment Written 29-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2017
-
Ohh....thank you so very much for reading my poem n for the great comment!! I truly appreciate this. 🙂
-
You are so welcome Heidi
Gert
Comment from Sasha
Hello stranger. How nice to see you back. This is a lovely lune entry and with perfect syllable count. I love the illustration you chose to accompany this adding to the artistic quality of your lune. I sincerely wish you all the best in this contest.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
|
Hello stranger. How nice to see you back. This is a lovely lune entry and with perfect syllable count. I love the illustration you chose to accompany this adding to the artistic quality of your lune. I sincerely wish you all the best in this contest.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
-
Ohh you made my whole night....thank you!! I've looked up to you from the start andfor you to remember me is such an blessing!! Thank you for everything....
Heidixoxo
Comment from Teri7
This is a very beautiful Lune poem you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
|
This is a very beautiful Lune poem you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
-
Thank you so very much for such a beautiful review and a large amount of stars. I hope to start catching up again Heidixoxo
Comment from c_lucas
The changing of the colors is a beautiful time of the year. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
|
The changing of the colors is a beautiful time of the year. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
-
Thank you Thank you do very much!! I'm truly grateful
xoxo
-
You're welcome, Heidi. Charlie
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Heidixoxo, this is a good entry for the Lune Poetry Contest. All syllables are in check and the content is always a good one when it comes to autumn colors. I did ponder your last line though. Given the restriction of syllables I thought perhaps the use of 'fall' twice weakened the meaning somewhat. Perhaps a suggestion would be:
Fall is now coming
Bright colors
Welcome season's change
Just food for thought. Best of luck in the competition. ~DD
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
|
Heidixoxo, this is a good entry for the Lune Poetry Contest. All syllables are in check and the content is always a good one when it comes to autumn colors. I did ponder your last line though. Given the restriction of syllables I thought perhaps the use of 'fall' twice weakened the meaning somewhat. Perhaps a suggestion would be:
Fall is now coming
Bright colors
Welcome season's change
Just food for thought. Best of luck in the competition. ~DD
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
-
Thank you so very much!! I truly appreciate the "food for thought'. That made a Nice upgraded version.....very thankful.
xoxo
-
I'm pleased I was able to help you :-) ~DD
