Haiku (beneath smoky skies)
Observed and heard when temperatures reached 106 degrees.91 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
Even though it's early September, your beautiful haiku made me feel the coolness of fall. I could smell the smoke and gear the crackle. I can not see where any improvements are needed. I was touched on most senses. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Even though it's early September, your beautiful haiku made me feel the coolness of fall. I could smell the smoke and gear the crackle. I can not see where any improvements are needed. I was touched on most senses. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, GWHARGIS, for your generous, six star review. I am glad my haiku touched you on most senses and made you feel like fall.
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, a perfect description of a natural event, well constructed and fluid in movement and imaginative presentation - fully compliant with the prompt - best of luck in the contest...
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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In my opinion, a perfect description of a natural event, well constructed and fluid in movement and imaginative presentation - fully compliant with the prompt - best of luck in the contest...
Comment Written 05-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Thank you, evesayshi, for your generous review and contest well wishes. I was astounded to hear the cones pop open on a hot day which melts the resin that holds the cones closed and dormant. Someone was lucky enough to film a cone at the precise moment it opened on a table:
Now magnify this by a thousand cones on dozens of trees. Thanks again.
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You are so welcome - that video was amazing - thank you for sharing. I never saw that happen before. Thank you again...Eve
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You're most welcome!
Comment from LaRosa
Three short lines which open the senses of sight, sound, and smell. Crackle and Pop, they're really nice sounding words.
Also, informational! I never knew 'why' the shape of pine cones. After all, there's a reason for everything. I learned something new today.
Plus, I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Three short lines which open the senses of sight, sound, and smell. Crackle and Pop, they're really nice sounding words.
Also, informational! I never knew 'why' the shape of pine cones. After all, there's a reason for everything. I learned something new today.
Plus, I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Yes, LaRosa, there are some pine cones that hang dormant and closed on the trees. The cones will only open up to disperse their seeds after a forest fire melts the resin in the cones. For cones to snap, crackle, and pop open in a 106 degree heatwave is amazing. Thank you for your review.
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Wow, so cool. God bless!
Comment from Wendy Winter
Thank you for sharing this work. With so few words you woke up all of my senses and brought me back to the crisp air and wonderful smells of the Rocky Mountains.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Thank you for sharing this work. With so few words you woke up all of my senses and brought me back to the crisp air and wonderful smells of the Rocky Mountains.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Yes, Wendy, my little poem tapped the vast senses and memories of many people. Thank you for your generous, six star review.
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Your Welcome
Comment from Fridayauthor
Very nicely done, and very season-appropriate. Smoke gets in your eyes, but mother nature has her on the handle on the situation, at least sometimes.
Excellent choice of words and construction.
Thank you very much.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Very nicely done, and very season-appropriate. Smoke gets in your eyes, but mother nature has her on the handle on the situation, at least sometimes.
Excellent choice of words and construction.
Thank you very much.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Yes, Fridayauthor, the fires, smoke, and heat California has been having lately all distilled in this one poem. Thank you for your generous, six star review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Possummagic
Always difficult to review with such a short body of work. But the words that you've chosen meld together nicely forming a lovely Haiku Poem. Well done. Good luck in the contest. PM
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Always difficult to review with such a short body of work. But the words that you've chosen meld together nicely forming a lovely Haiku Poem. Well done. Good luck in the contest. PM
Comment Written 05-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Thank you, PM, for your review and contest well wishes for such a short body of work. I appreciate it.
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You are very welcome.PM
Comment from Hitcher
Sh#t mate, that is one scorching hot day!! NZ is a timber country, pine trees as far as the eye can see, never heard of then cracking and popping, BUT we don't get 106 degree temperatures over here thank GOD : ) I bet it awe a pretty cool thing to bear witness to though? Great little Haiku : ) Good Luck!
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Sh#t mate, that is one scorching hot day!! NZ is a timber country, pine trees as far as the eye can see, never heard of then cracking and popping, BUT we don't get 106 degree temperatures over here thank GOD : ) I bet it awe a pretty cool thing to bear witness to though? Great little Haiku : ) Good Luck!
Comment Written 05-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Yes, Hitcher, normally, I don't venture outside during a 106 degree heatwave, but my dog insisted on me taking her for a walk. No one was on the sidewalks at that time. Few even drove, so I was odd to hear this crackling sound coming from the pines. At first I thought squirrels or woodpeckers caused to sound but I saw none in the trees. I confirmed that the sound came from the cones themselves which are designed by nature to open and disperse their seeds after wildfires. For them to open now during a heat wave tells us how hot it was. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Andre.
Very well done on this little piece. You are on a roll with these contests and I congratulate you on your efforts.
These little mathematical pieces are to hard for this old bloke to write, but you've nailed it here, mate.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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G'day Andre.
Very well done on this little piece. You are on a roll with these contests and I congratulate you on your efforts.
These little mathematical pieces are to hard for this old bloke to write, but you've nailed it here, mate.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Thank you, Fez, for your generous review and contest well wishes for a little mathematical piece.
Comment from MissMerri
I think you have described this extremely well. I have seen and heard these things too, and thought this was such a strong image you bring to your readers' minds. Well done. I wish you well in this contest. MM
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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I think you have described this extremely well. I have seen and heard these things too, and thought this was such a strong image you bring to your readers' minds. Well done. I wish you well in this contest. MM
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Yes, MissMerri, the weather has cooled today. it is hard to believe that only last Friday the temperature was so hot that pine cones crackled as they popped open. Thank you for your review and contest well wishes.
Comment from Winslow
Dear SisCat,
That is one advantage of fire since it does pop open some pine cones. The fires out west are some of the worst yet experienced. Here in MN the air has a lot of smoke. The horizons are hazy and my wife has trouble breathing.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Dear SisCat,
That is one advantage of fire since it does pop open some pine cones. The fires out west are some of the worst yet experienced. Here in MN the air has a lot of smoke. The horizons are hazy and my wife has trouble breathing.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Yes, Winslow, some cones remain dormant until a fire occurs that melts the resin and causes them to pop open. For me to hear cones pop open during a 106 degree heatwave while I inhaled the smoke of distant wildfires amazed me. Thank you for your review.
