This Time - That Time 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "The First Lesson For Joe"Veronica is sent back again
39 total reviews
Comment from Curly Girly
Hi, Sandra
This is another well-written chapter.
Ghosts from the past combine with dreams and reality to make a confusing situation.
Joe's spirit has somehow jumped into Michael's body and not Ann's. The women can't figure out why this has happened.
Perhaps Joe is more comfortable inside a man than a woman?
I feel certain, over time, the women will figure it out.
Nicole
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Hi, Sandra
This is another well-written chapter.
Ghosts from the past combine with dreams and reality to make a confusing situation.
Joe's spirit has somehow jumped into Michael's body and not Ann's. The women can't figure out why this has happened.
Perhaps Joe is more comfortable inside a man than a woman?
I feel certain, over time, the women will figure it out.
Nicole
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Hi Nicole,
You're so right about the confusion! Veronica is going to have her hands full over the next few parts.
Thank you so much for your lovely review. :) Sandra xx
Comment from mmonaghan777
What a unique story line idea. I have not read the past chapters but this certainly makes a person wonder about who is inside who. I can see that this would lead to many more chapters and many adventures. Love Mildred character.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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What a unique story line idea. I have not read the past chapters but this certainly makes a person wonder about who is inside who. I can see that this would lead to many more chapters and many adventures. Love Mildred character.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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I'm so pleased you enjoyed my story, and the delightful Mildred. She has managed to win the hearts of many reviewers and is undoubtedly my favourite. There is a lot going on, but Veronica has always managed to pull it all together with a little help from James and Mildred. Thank you so much for reading this part, I really appreciate it. :) Sandra xx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Once again you have done a great job writing this post. I think it's funny they're trying to teach poor three-year old Michael to make chocolate and he's playing with Legos. Great word pictures. I just hope Joe is listening.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Once again you have done a great job writing this post. I think it's funny they're trying to teach poor three-year old Michael to make chocolate and he's playing with Legos. Great word pictures. I just hope Joe is listening.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Veronica hopes so too! LOL, it might take something else to drag him out of this comfort zone he's in. Thank you so much for continuing to support my writing, Barbara, I really appreciate it. Big hugs. :) Sandra xx
Comment from kathleenspalding
Well, I hope it works! Chocolate cures everything, yay! ;-D Well written entry is interesting and keeps the story moving.
conference room and sat down, then Jowell - if using a comma, must say "and then".
Otherwise, either delete the comma or make into 2 sentences.
Jowell glanced over at Leif and raised an inquisitive... - needs a line space above for paragraph break
Jowell sighed and nodded. - need an extra line space above this.
buzzing non-stop with ideas which - either add a comma in front of 'which', or change 'which' to 'that' if the phrase is necessary to the meaning of the sentence.
patients and their (family - families), he was now using (it - there is no noun preceding this to really define 'it', maybe he's now using his ability, or his detachment?)
check for spaces above and below ## throughout
Joe was receptive to what we were going to show him?? - there is a carrot-topped a and 2 question marks following 'him'.
Authors notes and recipe are appreciated! I think I will bookmark this so I can try it out. :-)
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Well, I hope it works! Chocolate cures everything, yay! ;-D Well written entry is interesting and keeps the story moving.
conference room and sat down, then Jowell - if using a comma, must say "and then".
Otherwise, either delete the comma or make into 2 sentences.
Jowell glanced over at Leif and raised an inquisitive... - needs a line space above for paragraph break
Jowell sighed and nodded. - need an extra line space above this.
buzzing non-stop with ideas which - either add a comma in front of 'which', or change 'which' to 'that' if the phrase is necessary to the meaning of the sentence.
patients and their (family - families), he was now using (it - there is no noun preceding this to really define 'it', maybe he's now using his ability, or his detachment?)
check for spaces above and below ## throughout
Joe was receptive to what we were going to show him?? - there is a carrot-topped a and 2 question marks following 'him'.
Authors notes and recipe are appreciated! I think I will bookmark this so I can try it out. :-)
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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What can I say, Kathleen, but thank you so very much for taking the time to find my errors! I truly appreciate it. I've made all the corrections now. I would be delighted to have you come along for the ride. I'm just glad you enjoyed this part. Big hugs. :) Sandra xxx
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You're welcome. Hugs back :-)
Comment from C.A. Wittman
I really like time-travel stories, twisty plots and a large cast of characters, so this is definitely working for me. I wonder, is the little boy, Michael, aware that Daveth is inside him? Or does he see Daveth as separate from him? Interesting. I really like Mildred. I can see why she has fans.
There was just the punctuation at the end of this sentence below, which was probably you hitting the keys by accident.
We would just have to carry on in the hope that Joe was receptive to what we were going to show himâ??
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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I really like time-travel stories, twisty plots and a large cast of characters, so this is definitely working for me. I wonder, is the little boy, Michael, aware that Daveth is inside him? Or does he see Daveth as separate from him? Interesting. I really like Mildred. I can see why she has fans.
There was just the punctuation at the end of this sentence below, which was probably you hitting the keys by accident.
We would just have to carry on in the hope that Joe was receptive to what we were going to show himâ??
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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No, Michael won't be aware of Joe. When Veronica was in a young girl's body in the first book, Alice, the child, didn 't know until Veronica told her when she had grown up. Michael is blissfully unaware but enjoying the chocolate! LOL. Thank you so much for your lovely review and for finding that spag, it's an FS thing, it loves adding funny things to my words! Big hugs. :) Sandra xx
Comment from EverInParadise
Quite an interesting story here. You are very good at keeping the dialect in balance, some times writers can make it too heavy. I did run across this typo . . .hima?? in an early paragraph. In the introductory paragraphs there were a couple of missing commas that could be looked at. I enjoy this idea and wish you good luck with it.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Quite an interesting story here. You are very good at keeping the dialect in balance, some times writers can make it too heavy. I did run across this typo . . .hima?? in an early paragraph. In the introductory paragraphs there were a couple of missing commas that could be looked at. I enjoy this idea and wish you good luck with it.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Thank you so much for finding that funny a?? at the end of him. Goodness knows how that got there. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this, and thank you very much for the 6 stars! That was so kind of you. :) Sandra xx
Comment from JDRBAR
going to show himâ??
My grandmother was a professional confectioner. I worked with her for ten years as a child and teen so I learned a great deal about making candy and working with chocolate. For chocolate to set, it is put in a separate, cool room, with a humidifier...never a refrigerator. It would turn the chocolate white. She didn't make the chocolate itself. She purchased it in 24 lb blocks and had a machine for melting it
Another great chapter though. I can't wait to see how Joe is gotten out of Michael, if indeed he is in him.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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going to show himâ??
My grandmother was a professional confectioner. I worked with her for ten years as a child and teen so I learned a great deal about making candy and working with chocolate. For chocolate to set, it is put in a separate, cool room, with a humidifier...never a refrigerator. It would turn the chocolate white. She didn't make the chocolate itself. She purchased it in 24 lb blocks and had a machine for melting it
Another great chapter though. I can't wait to see how Joe is gotten out of Michael, if indeed he is in him.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Thank you so very much for this lovely review and for the correct procedure for making chocolate. I found this recipe on Google, It might be an idea for you or someone to correct that. As for in my story, they didn't have fridges, so Joe's chocolate will turn out fine! That's a relief. LOL Thank you again for reading my story, I really appreciate your input. Big hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
If Lady Gwendoline believes her husband will do the right thing for her son then maybe he will. Val needs to get him connected with the albino man in the Missionary church she discovered, but first get Joe to leave the body of her own son by teaching him to make chocolate. I hope it works for all their sake. LOL Good job Sandra, Nancy
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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If Lady Gwendoline believes her husband will do the right thing for her son then maybe he will. Val needs to get him connected with the albino man in the Missionary church she discovered, but first get Joe to leave the body of her own son by teaching him to make chocolate. I hope it works for all their sake. LOL Good job Sandra, Nancy
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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This Sir John isn't like his successor in the later years, thank goodness. He is just frightened of the unknown. So, we will have to wait and see. LOL, Nancy, I am so stuck with my characters now, I sleep with them on my mind. Sad, aren't I. Thank you for the lovely six stars. I smiled when I saw your review after I'd just reviewed yours, I think there was a bit of telepathic thinking going on there. Big hugs, my dear friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from damommy
I'm sorry. I did laugh at the thought of someone seeing them teaching a three year old to make chocolate. And the expression on his face was priceless.
I hope this works. It will probably change a lot of chocolate candy history. It will be interesting to see how this turns out. 8-)
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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I'm sorry. I did laugh at the thought of someone seeing them teaching a three year old to make chocolate. And the expression on his face was priceless.
I hope this works. It will probably change a lot of chocolate candy history. It will be interesting to see how this turns out. 8-)
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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It will be interesting seeing how Veronica can accomplish this without changing history. We will see. LOL. It was while I was writing this part I thought how it would look to someone who didn't know what was really going on. It just made me laugh. I'm glad you saw the funny side of it. Thank you so much, my dear friend, for this lovely review. Big hugs. Sandra xx
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You're so welcome. You write such great stories. Poems, too.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Six stars for the recipe and another six if you make some and mail it to me.
I don't think Michael needs to make the chocolate, does he? Just his watching the process with Joe looking out thru his eyes should teach JOE what to do. ? I can't imagine a little kid being able to stir well enough to get the mixture smooth and creamy. We'll have to find a kid to test it on. :)
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Six stars for the recipe and another six if you make some and mail it to me.
I don't think Michael needs to make the chocolate, does he? Just his watching the process with Joe looking out thru his eyes should teach JOE what to do. ? I can't imagine a little kid being able to stir well enough to get the mixture smooth and creamy. We'll have to find a kid to test it on. :)
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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No, LOL, Michael won't be making the chocolate, Veronica just hopes Joe will pick up the lesson to make it in his time. I have all the ingredients and I am going to try it. I'll let you know how it comes out! I am a bit of a chocoholic if it's there I want it! He will be testing it our himself soon. Thank you so much for the lovely 6 stars, my dear friend, that was so kind of you. Biggest hugs. Sandra xxx
