Unleashed Chaos
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Little Arius"A Novel of the Breedline Series
6 total reviews
Comment from ngage
First, I have to say your image caught my attention right away. Good choice.
Now that Tim has agreed to let Helen's patient who we know now is Steven, stay in the Covenant, I wonder if he is going to be safe for everyone considering his powers.
So, now little Arius might have the power to use a portal? This is getting more interesting by the minute.
And now, we have Casey and Lila planning dinner with her family, but he's worried his secret might get out.
Fantastic chapter as always. Very entertaining. Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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First, I have to say your image caught my attention right away. Good choice.
Now that Tim has agreed to let Helen's patient who we know now is Steven, stay in the Covenant, I wonder if he is going to be safe for everyone considering his powers.
So, now little Arius might have the power to use a portal? This is getting more interesting by the minute.
And now, we have Casey and Lila planning dinner with her family, but he's worried his secret might get out.
Fantastic chapter as always. Very entertaining. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thank you my dear friend :)
You're such a joy! I'm so glad you enjoy my chapters and continue to encourage me along the way.
Shana :)
Comment from apky
As always, you have a lot of tension in this chapter, and a fair amount of conflicts that moves the story forward and hooks the reader, making them eager to find out what happens next.
Below, a suggestion:
In a frantic, he quietly searched the room. ~ Delete "in a" because frantic is an adjective. So start the sentence with "Frantic,"
But I love how you create the tension in this passage. What could be more frightening than a baby suddenly nowhere to be found?
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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As always, you have a lot of tension in this chapter, and a fair amount of conflicts that moves the story forward and hooks the reader, making them eager to find out what happens next.
Below, a suggestion:
In a frantic, he quietly searched the room. ~ Delete "in a" because frantic is an adjective. So start the sentence with "Frantic,"
But I love how you create the tension in this passage. What could be more frightening than a baby suddenly nowhere to be found?
Comment Written 29-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thank you my talented friend :)
Thanks for the feedback and the tip. I see what you mean. Sometimes I write to much like I talk. LOL! I'm from the south.
You're a true inspiration. I always appreciate the time you take out to read my Breedline adventures.
Your fan,
Shana :)
It's because I love you calling me "talented", LOL!
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You are very talented :)
Comment from rheabug
Thank you for sharing your interesting story line with the fanstory community. I liked reading it and will say it really caught my attention from the start. I will try to read more of this story later on. I saw no need for editing. Hugs....
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thank you for sharing your interesting story line with the fanstory community. I liked reading it and will say it really caught my attention from the start. I will try to read more of this story later on. I saw no need for editing. Hugs....
Comment Written 29-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much :)
Glad you enjoyed the chapter. I do have a lot of characters, but hopefully you will find it flows. Hope to hear from you again.
Shana :)
Comment from Possummagic
This is proving to be a great story. I have no idea how you keep track of all of your characters but you do. The explanation of the characters at the end is very useful and answers any questions. I look forward to the next instalment.
Just one typo I think.
"In a frantic, he quietly searched the room. " did you mean that to read like that or was it
"in a frantic hurry....." or similar!
Good luck. PM
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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This is proving to be a great story. I have no idea how you keep track of all of your characters but you do. The explanation of the characters at the end is very useful and answers any questions. I look forward to the next instalment.
Just one typo I think.
"In a frantic, he quietly searched the room. " did you mean that to read like that or was it
"in a frantic hurry....." or similar!
Good luck. PM
Comment Written 28-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thank you :)
Glad you stopped to read my Breedline adventures. Yes, I do have a lot of characters. I know them all like the back of my hand. Every one has a little bit of me in them. Plus... I keep notes. LOL! Your words are very inspiring. I hope to keep you entertained. When readers tell me they enjoy my story, that's all the motivation I need to keep on writing.
Shana :)
p.s. thanks for catching my typo. Sometimes I write like I talk. Ha-ha! I'm from the south. :)
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You are most welcome.
Comment from Natali Holden
When I found this book on here, it was the chapter when Lila and Casey first met. Your other couples in this book are great, but I have this thing for the two of them. I'm glad to see them here. Now, about Arius, I thought Sebastian came and took him. And then to Natalie's room. I was thinking she'd be gone too, but then they were both there. And Arius can probably teleport now too! This novel is getting more and more interesting with each chapter. Keep up the awesomeness!
Natali ;)
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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When I found this book on here, it was the chapter when Lila and Casey first met. Your other couples in this book are great, but I have this thing for the two of them. I'm glad to see them here. Now, about Arius, I thought Sebastian came and took him. And then to Natalie's room. I was thinking she'd be gone too, but then they were both there. And Arius can probably teleport now too! This novel is getting more and more interesting with each chapter. Keep up the awesomeness!
Natali ;)
Comment Written 28-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thank you my dear Natali :)
I'm glad to hear you like Lila and Casey. I really enjoy writing about them. All the others have found their mate, and now it's time for Casey to find his. I think they are going to become an interesting couple. :)
Yes, Arius is a very special child. He is Sebastian's son, but also carries the gene of the Chiang-shih demon. He was born with great powers.... but not evil. The angel of healing, Raphael came to Eve when she was still pregnant and saved the child. As the story moves along, you will hear more about him and his twin Titus.
Thank you so much for your encouraging words and dedication to my story. This is why I write.
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
I can't quite remember Shana, did Sebastion kidnap young Arius? Great chapter dear friend. It's exciting. So many things going on, John Doe I'd portaled to the covenant's place. It turns out he's Steven Pasquale. And with Casey's abilities, he's trying to hide them from Lila, I wonder how this will work out? Some marvellously imaginative variables being added to your wonderful story Shana. Well done. Roy
Typo : Skipping(,) crawling(,)
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
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I can't quite remember Shana, did Sebastion kidnap young Arius? Great chapter dear friend. It's exciting. So many things going on, John Doe I'd portaled to the covenant's place. It turns out he's Steven Pasquale. And with Casey's abilities, he's trying to hide them from Lila, I wonder how this will work out? Some marvellously imaginative variables being added to your wonderful story Shana. Well done. Roy
Typo : Skipping(,) crawling(,)
Comment Written 28-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
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Thank you my dear friend :)
Sebastian is Arius's father. He plans on coming to take him and Titus to bring back to Eve. I know... it's hard to remember all that's going on. I do have a lot of characters. But you do an amazing job remembering. :)
Thanks for catching the typo. I always need that extra eye on my chapters.
Thank again for your dedication. I'm always your fan!
Shana :)
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Well done dear friend
