Reviews from

Autumn Excitement

First day of school elementary and high school

8 total reviews 
Comment from frogbook
Excellent
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Ah, such a true picture of the season from the school perspective. Love those fall football games-don't like when the snow comes! Good entry for this contest and should do well. Best of luck.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2017
    Thank you for the read. Use to like snow many years ago, but not any longer.
Comment from EverInParadise
Excellent
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Well done and certainly one way to acknowledge Autumn. From this story I suspect you have been a teacher and hold dear some of the memories of that time. If so, I thank you for your commitment to studies and students. Well done, Excellent picture to hold the idea of the Excitement.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
    Oh, you are so correct, a teacher, principal and superintendent. Thank you for your read and your comments.
reply by EverInParadise on 09-Sep-2017
    Great I with your permission may I have a hall pass? Just kidding. ; )
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017
    No, you will have to wait until Suzy comes back.
Comment from smileycloud
Excellent
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certainly have autumn sounding exciting in your writing
really good entry in the contest
you loaded an awful lots into such short space
well done
have a smiley day

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    Thank you for your read and your kind words.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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This speaks about a day in autumn, moms with their enthusiast children on first day at school, teachers welcome all, after school games, music, refreshment under teacher's care; I liked.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 19-Aug-2017
    Thanks for the read and the comment.
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi there,

A very fine take on this poem, and nary a colour in sight. Enjoyed this and you've captured that essence very well.

some moms' are apprehensive - moms is just a plural here so no apostrophe is necessary.

girls hug and boys soft shoulder punch - probably need a full stop / period at the end of this sentence/verse.

bandmaster can be one word.

chant, wave pom-poms, and dance . - delete the space after dance.


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 19-Aug-2017
    Hey, thanks for the read and the help.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Good choice of topic for the theme. I think everyone can relate to autumn meaning school starts. For some that's great news. For others it nine months of terror. :)

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
    The terror is unfortunate. We must do all we can as parents, teachers and community members to help students to enjoy the learning experience. Thanks for the read.
Comment from humpwhistle
Excellent
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I'm sorry about the four, but the lack of punctuation
precludes from rating this any higher.
Prose requires punctuation, not just because grade-school teachers insist, but because readers rely on it to navigate your story.

One man's opinion.

Peace, Lee

Glad you added punctuation. Makes a big difference. I adjusted your
your rating.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
    Have punctuated, thanks for the tip. Wonder if you would have time to do a re-read. Thanks.
Comment from MJ McIntire
Excellent
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This is a great description of the beginning of the school year, from the little ones being brought to school right up to the high school kids.

I remember those days well.

MJ

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
    I have re-punctuated on the advice of another reader. If you have time, please take a look and tell me what you think. It would be appreciated.