Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Patty,

This is a fun octogram. I like your subject very much. The picture is really cute & so perfect.

As for meter, all I can say is that I need mucho help, too. I believe you have several unimportant words like for accented & maybe the wrong part of begin too. But I could be wrong.

Still it is a good poem. Thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

**please excuse the cut and paste reply; due to my absence for a few days, I had a ton of reviews - trust me, I read each and every one**

thank you so much for your time to read and review,

~patty~

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

"they do their 'doggy doos' at last"

This will give it the right syllable count. To make it run smooth, you need to work on the 'da-dum' flow. this is a cute octogram and great descriptions

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

thank you so much Barb,

~patty~

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

I know zero about meter, so I am of no help there. But, for message and presentation I think it is great. I love the photo you put with this because of the line about the pastels chalk line. Patricia

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

**please excuse the cut and paste reply; due to my absence for a few days, I had a ton of reviews - trust me, I read each and every one**

thank you so much for your time to read and review,

~patty~

Comment from BOO ghost

Excellent

This is vibrant, cute, charming, amusing. Eye popping presentation~! Okie dokie,eight like an octopus. BOO's favorite words: Hot pavement makes my dogs walk fast,
Do 'doggy business' at last.
Heading home, we avoid the street,
Life is sure sweet.
BOO-tastic!

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

**please excuse the cut and paste reply; due to my absence for a few days, I had a ton of reviews - trust me, I read each and every one**

thank you so much for your time to read and review,

~patty~

reply by BOO ghost on 23-Aug-2017

Is OK

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

I would love to help you with your iambic meter, but I am still trying to figure out for myself what it is. That said, I enjoyed your fun and upbeat poem. I don't know why, but I have always enjoyed poems with repeating lines, I think it adds to the rhythm. Very nice work with this, I enjoyed it very much.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

Hi Sasha;
**please excuse the cut and paste reply; due to my absence for a few days, I had a ton of reviews - trust me, I read each and every one**

thank you so much for your time to read and review,

~patty~

reply by Sasha on 23-Aug-2017

Not to worry, cut and paste is just fine with me.