Unleashed Chaos
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Your Arms Feel Like Home"A Novel of the Breedline Series
6 total reviews
Comment from rwilliam
Mia quickly covered her mouth to keep from screaming. "Oh, God," she mumbled against her palm--I like this line so much!!
A-m-a-z-i-n-g chapter! I mean it! wow, that was so well written. You've grown by leaps and bounds girl. I'm impressed overtime I read your work.
Love the story and look forward to seeing where it goes.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Mia quickly covered her mouth to keep from screaming. "Oh, God," she mumbled against her palm--I like this line so much!!
A-m-a-z-i-n-g chapter! I mean it! wow, that was so well written. You've grown by leaps and bounds girl. I'm impressed overtime I read your work.
Love the story and look forward to seeing where it goes.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Thank you girl :)
You have really helped me out over the years. I'm still learning and improving thanks to you and some other nice folks here. I always ask myself after I write a chapter... "How can I make this better?"
I believe a story can always be improved.
Thanks for everything!
Shana :)
Comment from Natali Holden
I can't stand books like this, sometimes. They are so awesome, too awesome, I just can't stop reading... But here I have to, because no more is posted. You are such a talented author. Not every book makes me want to read more, some I just quit and never finish. Yours is not like that. I NEED more! Shana, you are so awesome! Keep up the outstanding writing!
Natali ;)
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2017
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I can't stand books like this, sometimes. They are so awesome, too awesome, I just can't stop reading... But here I have to, because no more is posted. You are such a talented author. Not every book makes me want to read more, some I just quit and never finish. Yours is not like that. I NEED more! Shana, you are so awesome! Keep up the outstanding writing!
Natali ;)
Comment Written 16-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2017
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Whoo-hoo!!! Thank you Miss Natali :)
You're the awesome one. Never have I gotten such inspiring feedback as I do you. You're a gem! Sometimes I doubt my ability as a writer and wonder if this story is worthwhile to continue. YOU bring me the motivation I need to keep on writing. My characters are like my family and they bring me joy when I create a new adventure for them.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Shana :)
Comment from apky
This is getting more and more intricate, Shana. Wonderfulful descriptions and classy sensuousness in the intimate scenes that left me gasping. You really are into your element in this genre. Superb.
It was (as) if she'd given birth herself to these two precious darlings
Holding out his hand, he motioned for her to take it. Quietly moving toward him, she took his hand in hers.
~ It is always better to remain in the active instead of the passive as in the above two sentences. E.g. He held out his hand for her. She moved towards him in silence and took it.
As Jem pulled away from Mia, he walked over to the crib. Looking down, Arius was curled up against Tidus, his arms and legs snuggled in tight.
~ Jem pulled away from Mia and walked over to the crib. He looked down at Arius who was curled up against Tidus...
I love how you describe the crackling sexuality between Tessa and Jace.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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This is getting more and more intricate, Shana. Wonderfulful descriptions and classy sensuousness in the intimate scenes that left me gasping. You really are into your element in this genre. Superb.
It was (as) if she'd given birth herself to these two precious darlings
Holding out his hand, he motioned for her to take it. Quietly moving toward him, she took his hand in hers.
~ It is always better to remain in the active instead of the passive as in the above two sentences. E.g. He held out his hand for her. She moved towards him in silence and took it.
As Jem pulled away from Mia, he walked over to the crib. Looking down, Arius was curled up against Tidus, his arms and legs snuggled in tight.
~ Jem pulled away from Mia and walked over to the crib. He looked down at Arius who was curled up against Tidus...
I love how you describe the crackling sexuality between Tessa and Jace.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Thank you, dear friend :)
Your help is great! I am so grateful to have made friends with you here on FanStory. You're such a gem!
Thanks again! Your fan,
Shana :)
Comment from Possummagic
I've really enjoyed reading this chapter and would like to read more. If you don't mind I will follow you because I find your work very interesting and easy to read. A cast of many but a good explanation of who is who.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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I've really enjoyed reading this chapter and would like to read more. If you don't mind I will follow you because I find your work very interesting and easy to read. A cast of many but a good explanation of who is who.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much! :)
So glad you enjoyed this chapter. I would love it if you followed my story. There are many adventures of the Breedline. I hope to keep you entertained.
Shana :)
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You're welcome
Comment from ngage
Interesting chapter, Shana. Now, the Breedline are worried about little Arius inheriting the demon's genes and Mia must inform them of what she saw. Looks like they will have their hands full watching over him to make sure he will not be evil. Looking forward to where this goes.
Great romancs scene between Jace and Tessa. You steamed up the pages while keeping it tasteful. So now Jace is having nightmares of Tessa's death. I wonder if this has anything to do with Lilith. You always leave a cliffhanger to keep me coming back for more. Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Interesting chapter, Shana. Now, the Breedline are worried about little Arius inheriting the demon's genes and Mia must inform them of what she saw. Looks like they will have their hands full watching over him to make sure he will not be evil. Looking forward to where this goes.
Great romancs scene between Jace and Tessa. You steamed up the pages while keeping it tasteful. So now Jace is having nightmares of Tessa's death. I wonder if this has anything to do with Lilith. You always leave a cliffhanger to keep me coming back for more. Well done.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Thank you my friend :)
I'm always so excited to hear what you have say. Your feedback is important to me. Hopefully, I will always have the ability to entertain you with adventures of the Breedline.
Your an inspiration!
Shana :)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Here I liked the romantic essence and expressive moods in a reserved and traditional order of manifestation between Mia and Jem and they are happy with their twin boys..
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Here I liked the romantic essence and expressive moods in a reserved and traditional order of manifestation between Mia and Jem and they are happy with their twin boys..
Comment Written 14-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Thank you my friend :)
So good to hear you enjoyed this chapter and the romance between my characters. Your feedback is motivating to me and I appreciate you. I hope to keep entertaining you with the adventures of my Breedline cast.
Shana :)
