Sunshine
Making the world brighter16 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem. When everyone have a little compassion for one another the world will become a better place to live in. One smile to a stranger can bring them a little sunshine.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2017
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A very well-written poem. When everyone have a little compassion for one another the world will become a better place to live in. One smile to a stranger can bring them a little sunshine.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from rama devi
I love the sincerity in this. The title is apt. The opening line sets the reader's heart open. This is poignant in its simplicity and impact, because many people feel the same way nowadays:
Each time I watch the
news, I feel like crying.
True:
But a smile or a
friendly word goes
a long way.
*one suggestion:
world. Best of all(:)
it's free.
My only other recommendation (entirely optional) is to add line breaks for dramatic pause effect. Example:
I love the human race.
Each time I watch the
news, I feel like crying.
My heart fills with
such compassion.
There is only so much
I can do, physically or
financially. Especially
being handicapped.
I don't have riches,
I barely get by.
But a smile or a
friendly word goes
a long way.
Just by showing a
little kindness, I can
brighten up a dark
world. Best of all
it's free.
I further recommend moving the last sentence to its own line to highlight its impact:
Just by showing a
little kindness, I can
brighten up a dark
world.
Best of all:
it's free.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep beaming kindness!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2017
|
I love the sincerity in this. The title is apt. The opening line sets the reader's heart open. This is poignant in its simplicity and impact, because many people feel the same way nowadays:
Each time I watch the
news, I feel like crying.
True:
But a smile or a
friendly word goes
a long way.
*one suggestion:
world. Best of all(:)
it's free.
My only other recommendation (entirely optional) is to add line breaks for dramatic pause effect. Example:
I love the human race.
Each time I watch the
news, I feel like crying.
My heart fills with
such compassion.
There is only so much
I can do, physically or
financially. Especially
being handicapped.
I don't have riches,
I barely get by.
But a smile or a
friendly word goes
a long way.
Just by showing a
little kindness, I can
brighten up a dark
world. Best of all
it's free.
I further recommend moving the last sentence to its own line to highlight its impact:
Just by showing a
little kindness, I can
brighten up a dark
world.
Best of all:
it's free.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep beaming kindness!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 08-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2017
-
Thank you for your review.
Comment from Irish Rain
It is the absolute best thing to give. It never gets worn out, it fits everyone, and only increases as it's used. Wonderful. I avoid the news. I get depressed. Loved this, blessings...
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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It is the absolute best thing to give. It never gets worn out, it fits everyone, and only increases as it's used. Wonderful. I avoid the news. I get depressed. Loved this, blessings...
Comment Written 07-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your review, I try to avoid the news too.
Comment from MizKat
Hi jaded831,
I just finished reading your poem. It was very interesting to read.
You and I seem to be alike. I can hardly do anything anymore either.
Still it's wonderful, yet surprising, that I've made it to being 80 years old.
Kat
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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Hi jaded831,
I just finished reading your poem. It was very interesting to read.
You and I seem to be alike. I can hardly do anything anymore either.
Still it's wonderful, yet surprising, that I've made it to being 80 years old.
Kat
Comment Written 07-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your review. We only do what we can.
Comment from country ranch writer
Being on a budget didn't stop him from coming forth to try to bring a little bit of sun shine and hope into the hearts of those who like him have to struggle to keep living.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
|
Being on a budget didn't stop him from coming forth to try to bring a little bit of sun shine and hope into the hearts of those who like him have to struggle to keep living.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your review.
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Smiles
Comment from patcelaw
This is a lovely poem to which I very well relate. Because of my failing eyesight, I no longer watch TV, so I do not have to see the awful things going on in the world. Like you I try to do what I can to make a better world. Here is a cyber hug ((((Jaded)))))
Patricia
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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This is a lovely poem to which I very well relate. Because of my failing eyesight, I no longer watch TV, so I do not have to see the awful things going on in the world. Like you I try to do what I can to make a better world. Here is a cyber hug ((((Jaded)))))
Patricia
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the hug, back at ya. Also thank you for your thoughtful review.
