Reviews from

Haiku Club Challenges, Book II

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "haiku(white crested waves)"
an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets

10 total reviews 
Comment from Bill Schott
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This haiku, White Crested Waves, uses its sixteen syllables to describe the irresistible force of the relentless waves meeting the immovable objects that tenderize the sea god's tantrum.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
    Thanks a lot, Bill, Ulla:))
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
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Hola, Ulla,

Que bonito esta tu haiku del oceano. Thank you very much for adding to our haiku club challenge book. It's just lovely. Good form and presentation too.

Gypsy hugs

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Hola, Gitana, Wow, I'm glad you liked it. Hugs to you as well.Ulla:)))
Comment from rama devi
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Good job, Ulla. What a dramatic photo--and dramatic poem to match. Fine subtle personification. Fine satori observation. Fine alliteration of C and W and consonance of V, R, T, N and S. The sounds of the hard consonants sound like crashing waves on rocks. Well done!


Love,
rd


 Comment Written 30-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
    Wow, thanks a lot, rama. I'm glad you liked it. love. Ulla:))
Comment from damommy
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Oh, I like this very much.

The words alone painted a very vivid picture. Great descriptions, especially 'unforgiving rocks.'

Picture is perfect for this.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
    Hi Yvonne. How pleased I am you liked this. My haiku mood is only starting to return. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by damommy on 31-Jul-2017
    I think haikus are very hard to write. You do them so well. 8-)
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
    Awe, thank you!!
Comment from Ric Myworld
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This is one of those poems that combined with the picture paint a picture in our minds that is far more vivid than black and white. Thanks for sharing another fine poem. :-)

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Thank you so much, Ric. I'm glad it evoked a picture and sentiment. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Sis Cat
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This is an effective haiku using imagery and W and C alliteration to create a smooth read and a powerful picture. Your satori expresses the anger of the god of the sea. Thank you, Ulla, for sharing your fine contribution to this book.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Thanks a lot, Andre. So glad you liked it and for your understanding of it. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from Sasha
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Nice work with this one. The first two lines connect well and the satori, Neptune's anger, made me think of the heat of summer. Excellent addition to this book, I wish you all the best.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2017

Comment from Dean Kuch
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Coming in at just sixteen syllables your overall syllable count is fine, Ulla. Good balance as well, 4/8/4.
I'm wondering what would qualify as the kigo, or seasonal reference. It's not "unforgiving rocks" as rocks are always hard and unforgiving no matter the season.
White crested waves might qualify depending on the locale. Some areas have white waves cresting all season long.
I would say the kigo pertains to the waves.
Nice haiku, Ulla.
 photo JC.ORIENTAL20FRAME20-202Ytsh-10n20-20normal_zpsao5dxyqb.jpg

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2017

Comment from Mustang Patty
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Hi Ulla; thank you for sharing this well formed haiku. I can clearly understand the satori, (sometimes a challenge for me,) and it definitely talks about nature. A good entry for the challenge,

~patty~

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2017

Comment from barbara.wilkey
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I enjoyed reading your short, sweet, and to the point Haiku. It reminds me of our recent vacation. Part of it was spent in Colorado. Many were white water rafting and some of the rivers were flowing so strongly nobody could raft down. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2017