Comment from LaRosa

Excellent

This chapter is my first read of the story. So, without a lot of background, I have to say that you have given enough historical hints to get me up to speed pretty quickly. Outside of the 'sister', that is.
Since you didn't say much about her, I'm definitely curious enough to hang in and/or go back a few chapters to satisfy my curiosity.
I can believe that two people are each so fearful of being hurt that they just can't cross the room to take a chance at happiness. It happens all the time; although you wish they'd be mature enough to 'get over themselves'. That's youth, right? (some old folks too?)
You have a quick moving section that brings a lot of different emotions to the table for your characters. Good going!

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017

Hi LaRosa; thank you for starting to read the story. There are only a few more chapters left and this story will be wrapped up. I'm glad you read enough to invite yourself to go back and read more.

I hope you enjoy and will follow along with this saga,

~patty~

Comment from Asem.inspirations

Excellent

Whaaaaaaattttttt??? This is what he came up with? Men can be so stuuuupppiiiddd. I am sorry but this is so disappointing. I actually expected so much better from Ron. They seem to be both playing head games without realizing it. Instead of being honest with themselves and each other, it just seems to be this constant forced denial about everything and untruth. I am kind of pissed at both of them right now.

I hope that this gets better. I mean the story is still extremely intriguing and I am still following this story but this was an upsetting surprise. Terrific writing though. You go girl!

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017

Hi Tier; it is always difficult when we have to remember our characters are only in their early 20s AND living in the 1980s. But, I think you will like what eventually happens with the story - so come along for the ride,

Thank you, as always, for reading,

~patty~

Comment from Marvin Calloway

Good

Patty
I don't feel good about saying this but, I'm not happy with the dialogue, this time.
If you like, study what you've written, with this in mind: People don't speak in complete sentences. Maybe, add some pauses.
Say aloud what you wrote. Now take another stab at it. See if you like your new words better than the original.
This is all I have the nerve to say for now. If you wish more, don't hesitate to let me know.
Marv

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017

Hi Marv; I will work on the dialogue. I think I often forget that people don't speak in complete sentences. I'm working on the next chapter now - and I will try to make it better.

Don't worry about pointing out to me when I've gone astray - we all do!

~patty~

reply by Marvin Calloway on 02-Aug-2017

Thanks for your reaction.

Comment from Caressa_08

Excellent

Hi, Patty, That 1980's black, old-fashioned, dial phone fits perfectly, being it is the means of popular communication for that era and in this chapter of a story of yes, love, but one that is discouraging now for really both, Ron & Jenny And, if only he could realize that his conniving, half-sis is the culprit...Seeing now, this couple's vibes for one another untangled Cupid's love bow, though now a pregnancy is weighing in, heavy on both their minds, as what is next?
Oh, how young love sometimes can be so misunderstood. And think a good story for those who enjoy this sort of read, and should make a popular novel eventually, probably with many twists and turns, on the way to keep us interested...C.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017

Hi there; such a lovely review and great summary of this chapter.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I think you will enjoy the rest of this story,

~patty~

Comment from JW

Excellent

Thanks for sharing another chapter in this story, Patty. I am curious to see what is going to happen.

In reading your work, I find the differences in our writing style quite different. In reading yours, I wonder if you plan on publishing this story. JW

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017

Hi there; when this story is all done, I will put it together, and expand on it to make it into a short novel. I do plan to shop it around. My story 'The Letter' is in the process of being expanded on, and I do have a nibble already.

~patty~

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Sad but a good chapter. I think she's mistaken and just reading him wrong. I hope. I always feel bad when a couple breaks up or even has problems. You described their feelings well. :)

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017

Hi Phyllis; thank you so much for continuing to read along with this story. I think you will be happy with the ending,

~patty~

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Exceptional

Hello my friend this is well written so Ron wanted Jenny to have an abortion that is so sad to come to a decision like that when he hasn't really had time to take in the news well done again my friend I enjoyed regards Jill

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017

Hi Jill; this was a tough chapter to write. I had to imagine a great deal of what Ron was feeling and the motivation behind his offer to pay for one half of the abortion HE decided on.

The next chapter will explain more,

~patty~
ps; thank you for the wonderful sixth star

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, Patty,

I don't understand Ron's reaction, if he loves her he should give it a chance or at the very least accept responsibility for being a father...not money for abortion. Well, maybe I am wrong. I think if he had told Jenny the way he feels things would have gone better. His reasons for not wanting to marry are valid though.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017

Hi Gypsy; it is such a mess at the point in time where the story is; my heart broke for both of them,

~patty~

Comment from Natali Holden

Excellent

Being a reader of your story is kind of like having two friends, one a girl and the other a guy. They both trust you and have told you who they like and tell you not to tell anyone. You don't want them to get mad at you, so you don't. You try to convince them to tell each other, but they won't. It drives you insane. That is exactly what Jenny and Ron are doing to me, driving me insane. I wish they would just tell each other. I love how you make me care about the characters. Great job! Can't wait 'til the next chapter!
Natali ;)

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017

Hi Natali; LOL! Imagine what it was like for me back in 1983 - I did try to get them both to talk to one another, but they were both SO stubborn.

The next chapter will be up at the end of the week,

~patty~

Comment from dovemarie

Excellent

Dear patty, I know everyone blames the man in things like this, or they used to, but I can sympathize and empathize with Ron's shock, and his decision for Jenny to have an abortion. jenny not giving Ron a chance to explain about who the woman Veronica was is the root of the misunderstanding, and I can understand the pain and tears of both individuals. Dove

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017

Hi Dove; thank you for looking at it from both sides. So many people are judging Ron to be a total jerk, but I think he was in a difficult spot. Since I really know him, I do know he isn't a complete jerk; well...maybe sometimes,

~patty~