Last Words
Lost dessert.88 total reviews
Comment from crzypnter
This is a wonderful and poignant 3 line poem. Shoo much said in so few words. My grandfather loved a donut with his coffee that I would bring him each day. One day he said no to both. He passed that night. Thank you for sharing. God bless
August
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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This is a wonderful and poignant 3 line poem. Shoo much said in so few words. My grandfather loved a donut with his coffee that I would bring him each day. One day he said no to both. He passed that night. Thank you for sharing. God bless
August
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Yes, yes, yes, August, when your grandfather said no to his favorite foods he knew he would die shortly. This confirms that I am not alone in my experience with my uncle. Thank you for your review and for sharing your story. Thanks for the blessing , too.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written three line poem. Some people just know consciously or sub. Consciously that they are going to leave this world soon. My father says six months before he died, it was probably the last time that he visit Cape Town South Africa.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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A very well-written three line poem. Some people just know consciously or sub. Consciously that they are going to leave this world soon. My father says six months before he died, it was probably the last time that he visit Cape Town South Africa.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Yes, Sandra, some people know when they are going to die. Many reviewers are sharing with me the last words of relatives or requests not to bring their favorite foods. This awareness of death is universal. Thank you for your review.
Comment from kathleenspalding
Aw. Well written, bitter-sweet three line poem tells a heartbreaking story using very few words. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected. Our sympathy for your loss.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Aw. Well written, bitter-sweet three line poem tells a heartbreaking story using very few words. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected. Our sympathy for your loss.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Kathleen, for your generous review and condolences. I appreciate them.
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You're welcome
Comment from Grasshopper2
Andre,
I reviewed Teacakes and gave it 6-stars. This is a poignant epitaph to the story. Thank you for posting and sharing this slice of your past and traveling from the stage to the page. Well done, my friend, well done indeed.
Michael
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Andre,
I reviewed Teacakes and gave it 6-stars. This is a poignant epitaph to the story. Thank you for posting and sharing this slice of your past and traveling from the stage to the page. Well done, my friend, well done indeed.
Michael
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Michael, for your generous, six star review. Yes, this poem serves as an epitaph to my story. Thanks again.
Comment from dragonpoet
The simplest things can be the be the precursors of death. Eating less or not eating is one.
Sorry for your loss.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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The simplest things can be the be the precursors of death. Eating less or not eating is one.
Sorry for your loss.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Yes, Joan, I always brought my uncle his favorite cookies when I was in hospice. When he told me not to bring more, we both knew his death approached. he died five days later. Thank you for your review and condolences. Thanks also for wishing me contest luck.
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You're welcome. Sorry for your loss,
dp
Comment from Heather Knight
How sad!
My dad loved my children dearly and we took them to visit every Sunday. My husband and I would go to the cinema, and my parents looked after the kids. But the weekend before he died, he told me not to bring them. I knew then that something was wrong.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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How sad!
My dad loved my children dearly and we took them to visit every Sunday. My husband and I would go to the cinema, and my parents looked after the kids. But the weekend before he died, he told me not to bring them. I knew then that something was wrong.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Isn't that the truth, Maria?! When our ailing relatives tell us not to do something they love, you know death is imminent. Our relatives also know they are going to die. Thank you for your review and sharing your experience which confirmed mine. Thanks also for wishing me luck in the contest.
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Sis Cat;
-Phrrooo. Is a heavy thing to go through in life to finding out later in life that the last word you heard from someone stays with you. Maybe you could've said something else more poignant or something better to remember.
-When one digs deep into the meaning of this poem one finds the poem much more appealing in the intensity become stronger with each word.
-Sometimes the simplicity in a poet's writings has to be dug deep to understand that life is simple and yet complex. And how little do we know we take for granted each moment of each day that we later look back in life and think "I could have made things different." Or I could have remembered something different.
-A great picture to use solidify your emotional understanding.
-Good luck in the contest and take care and have a good one especially with those that you love dearly.
Alex
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Cheers, Sis Cat;
-Phrrooo. Is a heavy thing to go through in life to finding out later in life that the last word you heard from someone stays with you. Maybe you could've said something else more poignant or something better to remember.
-When one digs deep into the meaning of this poem one finds the poem much more appealing in the intensity become stronger with each word.
-Sometimes the simplicity in a poet's writings has to be dug deep to understand that life is simple and yet complex. And how little do we know we take for granted each moment of each day that we later look back in life and think "I could have made things different." Or I could have remembered something different.
-A great picture to use solidify your emotional understanding.
-Good luck in the contest and take care and have a good one especially with those that you love dearly.
Alex
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Alex, for your thoughtful review and condolences. When my uncle suffering from cancer told me he ate teacakes as a kid, I began to bake and bring them to him at the hospice. When he declined more teacakes, we both knew death approached.
Thank you also for wishing me contest luck.
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Dan is a somewhat frightening tale of your uncle's forewarned passing and him not wanting tea cakes, seems to be the catalyst for him letting you know he was about to die. This may and could be a haunting memory . Or at least it would be for me. Very nice short poem. And you are sincerely welcome.
Alex
Comment from Daniel Silverhawk
I could not really follow the three lines in this poem because if the spacing of the longer words. I tried doing a syllable count but still couldn't quite the count down. Nevertheless, it's a good poem, knowing teacakes is a favorite dessert and asking that you Not bring more, signifies is resolution to passing away soon. Good luck in the contest
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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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I could not really follow the three lines in this poem because if the spacing of the longer words. I tried doing a syllable count but still couldn't quite the count down. Nevertheless, it's a good poem, knowing teacakes is a favorite dessert and asking that you Not bring more, signifies is resolution to passing away soon. Good luck in the contest
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Daniel, for your review and wishing me contest luck. I always brought my uncle his favorite cookies when he was in a hospice. When he told me not to bring more, we both knew his death approached. He died five days later.
Comment from Wabigoon
Sis Cat--
I like this but feel, maybe, it is not as moving as it might be. However, I have no idea how to make that upkick happen really. Sorry about your uncle. Good job here.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Sis Cat--
I like this but feel, maybe, it is not as moving as it might be. However, I have no idea how to make that upkick happen really. Sorry about your uncle. Good job here.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Jeff, for your review. My poem is modern as it represents a fragment of a conversation and the language is stripped bare. It speaks to a larger relationship between me and my uncle. Thank you for your review and condolences.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm sure the teacakes will be a memory that you will treasure and will always bring a smile to your face. What a lovely 3 line poem, I'm just sorry that it's a sad one as well. I've just lost my favourite aunt, so quite understand how you feel. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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I'm sure the teacakes will be a memory that you will treasure and will always bring a smile to your face. What a lovely 3 line poem, I'm just sorry that it's a sad one as well. I've just lost my favourite aunt, so quite understand how you feel. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Sandra, for your review and condolences. Yes, the memories of the teacakes I baked and brought to my uncle will always bring a treasured smile to my face. Thanks also for wishing me contest luck.
