Desperate Years
a bit of my history44 total reviews
Comment from pipersfancy
I've not written much about my former situation either. It sounds like it was similar to yours. I never doubted that he was capable of carrying through on any of his threats, and eventually he did take our two children and kept them from me for the better part of 7 years.
A person is never the same having gone through such an experience in life.
Regards,
pf
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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I've not written much about my former situation either. It sounds like it was similar to yours. I never doubted that he was capable of carrying through on any of his threats, and eventually he did take our two children and kept them from me for the better part of 7 years.
A person is never the same having gone through such an experience in life.
Regards,
pf
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Thanks. I'm so sorry you were separated from your kids for so long. I think writing about it helps. If not for his legal problems things may have ended very badly. He was't in jail long, but he was smart enough to know disappearing while on probation would be a bad idea. For me it was the best thing that could have happened. From what I'm hearing, this sort of thing happens far too often. Thanks for a wonderful review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
The main thing is that you didn't allow one terrible relationship experience to break you, Cindy.
You picked yourself up by your bootstraps, furthered your education, and became determined not to allow yourself to wallow in your own self-pity and misery.
Sometimes that's not an easy thing to do.
I've been there myself, only my marriage lasted 22 years when she simply decided to walk out one day.
Know what I said to her as she left?
"Hey, be sure not to let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. I wouldn't want my door damaged."
~Dean ;)
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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The main thing is that you didn't allow one terrible relationship experience to break you, Cindy.
You picked yourself up by your bootstraps, furthered your education, and became determined not to allow yourself to wallow in your own self-pity and misery.
Sometimes that's not an easy thing to do.
I've been there myself, only my marriage lasted 22 years when she simply decided to walk out one day.
Know what I said to her as she left?
"Hey, be sure not to let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. I wouldn't want my door damaged."
~Dean ;)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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That's awful. I know horrible spouses aren't always male. I just did what I had to. A pity-party wasn't going to feed the kids. Thanks for the five.
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Anytime.
Comment from apky
I think you did this really well, despite the misgivings you talk about in your notes. I can also imagine just how hard this must have been to write, as you imply it is true.
The ending is very encouraging:
It's been thirty-some years but the scars remain,
I've never been able to marry again.
Trust issues I have are attractive to none
But I'm strong and capable and get things done.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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I think you did this really well, despite the misgivings you talk about in your notes. I can also imagine just how hard this must have been to write, as you imply it is true.
The ending is very encouraging:
It's been thirty-some years but the scars remain,
I've never been able to marry again.
Trust issues I have are attractive to none
But I'm strong and capable and get things done.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Thanks. Yep, it was tough to write, but I think it was worth it. I'm finding there are other people who had similar experiences.
Comment from c_lucas
Sorry, but these old eyes need to have more contrast. I couldn't read you poem, thus I couldn't review it. A very frustrated situation. Your work should be reader friendly.
*** Some abusers should be introduced to an ant hill. Naked and covered in honey. Very good job of writing.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Sorry, but these old eyes need to have more contrast. I couldn't read you poem, thus I couldn't review it. A very frustrated situation. Your work should be reader friendly.
*** Some abusers should be introduced to an ant hill. Naked and covered in honey. Very good job of writing.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Thanks for letting me know. Do I need to change the color scheme?
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Light fonts on darker back ground. It will get you more reviews.
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I've changed the background. Is it better?
Comment from Heather Knight
Your story is a tough one, but you've proved to be strong. I'm sorry you had to go through all that... but life can be trying sometimes.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Your story is a tough one, but you've proved to be strong. I'm sorry you had to go through all that... but life can be trying sometimes.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Thanks. Nobody said life was fair. Today I have a rewarding job and beautiful kids and grandkids. I've done okay.
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I'm glad to hear that. Take care.
Comment from dragonpoet
You are right that adultery, though painful, isn't as bad the pain,both physical and mental, of being abused. It is always good when an abuser gets caught and punished. It is horrible for the kids too. It is much harder to overcome than adultery. But both leave trust issues, I would guess.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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You are right that adultery, though painful, isn't as bad the pain,both physical and mental, of being abused. It is always good when an abuser gets caught and punished. It is horrible for the kids too. It is much harder to overcome than adultery. But both leave trust issues, I would guess.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Thanks. He never hit me. He knew I could get help if he did. His arrest wasn't for anything he did to me. I never saw it coming. The mental and financial stuff was just beginning to be recognized as abuse at the time.
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You're welcome. I'm sorry for your pain. However he got arrested, it was good for you and the children. I'm glad society is more intelligent about all kinds of abuse.
dp
Comment from Abby Wilson-hand
WOW!! THIS IS AWSOME I LOVED IT
HOPE TO SEE MORE OF YOUR WRITING
YOU MUST HAVE WORKED SO HARD ON THIS
TO BE AS PERFECT AS IT IS
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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WOW!! THIS IS AWSOME I LOVED IT
HOPE TO SEE MORE OF YOUR WRITING
YOU MUST HAVE WORKED SO HARD ON THIS
TO BE AS PERFECT AS IT IS
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Thanks for the six! Yes, it took some time and it was difficult to write, but I think it was worth it. Thanks again.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Cindy.
Such a tragic tale, mate. Very well written and also brave to pen it, but sometimes it's a therapy to help get it out. I know it has been for me.
Life can be tough, my friend and only the tough survive.
Very nicely done.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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G'day Cindy.
Such a tragic tale, mate. Very well written and also brave to pen it, but sometimes it's a therapy to help get it out. I know it has been for me.
Life can be tough, my friend and only the tough survive.
Very nicely done.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Thanks. I survived and I'm doing okay today. Yep, writing is therapy and it helps.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Hello Cindy, I know that it is tough to write the revealing true stories, the bad memories we never forget. You and your children were innocent in this relationship. It was not your fault and believe there are many of us who can relate to your story. I understand why you never got married again. Usually you end up meeting someone similar to the monster you moved on from. Well at least that is what happened to me.
Your poem is very well written and I really appreciated reading it. I was happy that you survived your situation and believe it or not it is actually a success story. We all have our horror stories to tell. I am so happy that you shared yours. You can help many others with it.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Hello Cindy, I know that it is tough to write the revealing true stories, the bad memories we never forget. You and your children were innocent in this relationship. It was not your fault and believe there are many of us who can relate to your story. I understand why you never got married again. Usually you end up meeting someone similar to the monster you moved on from. Well at least that is what happened to me.
Your poem is very well written and I really appreciated reading it. I was happy that you survived your situation and believe it or not it is actually a success story. We all have our horror stories to tell. I am so happy that you shared yours. You can help many others with it.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Thanks. Yep, it was tough to write, but if it helps someone else it was worth it. Sorry you ended up with someone similar. Hope you find the right person next time.
Comment from oliver818
What a powerful poem. I think you are very brave to publish such a personal account in this website. The story behind the poem is heart-breaking. All my best wishes to you for a happy life
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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What a powerful poem. I think you are very brave to publish such a personal account in this website. The story behind the poem is heart-breaking. All my best wishes to you for a happy life
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
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Thanks. I haven't seen him in many years. Seems he lost intrest when he lost control. He didn't dare make good on his threats when he got out of jail. By the time he was done with probation the kids were teenagers.
