Free Verse Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Hawk Moths"A collection of free verse poems
72 total reviews
Comment from sunnilicious
Great personification and irony going on in this short poem. What a story for a poem... Racy. Very descriptive. I love saying this, "tipsy wraiths that waft". It's like the classiest thing in the whole poem. Great running assonance with the vowels i, e, o. Lovely work. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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Great personification and irony going on in this short poem. What a story for a poem... Racy. Very descriptive. I love saying this, "tipsy wraiths that waft". It's like the classiest thing in the whole poem. Great running assonance with the vowels i, e, o. Lovely work. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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Thanks so much for dropping by to review this one, and for your good luck wishes - also for noticing the assonance. Delighted that you liked the "tipsy, wraiths that waft" - my favorite part, too!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Beautiful free verse Tony, wonderful descriptions of the 'whiff of pheromone' and the 'velvet dress of night' - for me those two are stand outs in this beautiful free verse.
Good luck in the contest,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2017
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Beautiful free verse Tony, wonderful descriptions of the 'whiff of pheromone' and the 'velvet dress of night' - for me those two are stand outs in this beautiful free verse.
Good luck in the contest,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2017
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Very many thanks for dropping by to review this one, Valda. Much appreciated! Thanks, too, for your good luck wishes. All the best, Tony
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hi Tony. Very creative. One wouldn't normally think to associate 'Hawk Moths' with anything sensual, but you worked it in exceptionally well with this beautiful write. Great use of assonance and alliteration, and I love "velvet dress of night" and "tipsy wraiths that waft from cup to cup" (my favorite line). Perfect pairing of picture and poem! Beautiful! Good luck in the contest. ~ ~ Connie
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
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Hi Tony. Very creative. One wouldn't normally think to associate 'Hawk Moths' with anything sensual, but you worked it in exceptionally well with this beautiful write. Great use of assonance and alliteration, and I love "velvet dress of night" and "tipsy wraiths that waft from cup to cup" (my favorite line). Perfect pairing of picture and poem! Beautiful! Good luck in the contest. ~ ~ Connie
Comment Written 26-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
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Very many thanks for taking the time to review this one, Connie. I very much appreciate your kind words and the six-star award. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is beautiful. You write majestically about the moth moving from blossom to blossom, only taking what it needs.
to kiss the sequined, velvet dress of night
on wings of moonlit lace.
Exceptional phrasing.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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This is beautiful. You write majestically about the moth moving from blossom to blossom, only taking what it needs.
to kiss the sequined, velvet dress of night
on wings of moonlit lace.
Exceptional phrasing.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, Thomas. I appreciate your kind words. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from IndianaIrish
What incredible imagery in our feee verse poem, Tony! Absolutely beautiful. I love the moment in time you shared, the alliteration, no this line is outstanding...
"to kiss the sequined, velvet dress of night"
Best wishes in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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What incredible imagery in our feee verse poem, Tony! Absolutely beautiful. I love the moment in time you shared, the alliteration, no this line is outstanding...
"to kiss the sequined, velvet dress of night"
Best wishes in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 24-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, Karyn. I appreciate your kind words and the six stars. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from rspoet
This poem is like a little gem,
Gemma, the jewel in the crown of the night
I guess that would make the hawk moth
the jewel of the mothdom
Excellent poetic: imagery, alliteration and velvet dresses
Well done, my friend
Best wishes in the contest
RS
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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This poem is like a little gem,
Gemma, the jewel in the crown of the night
I guess that would make the hawk moth
the jewel of the mothdom
Excellent poetic: imagery, alliteration and velvet dresses
Well done, my friend
Best wishes in the contest
RS
Comment Written 24-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, RS. I appreciate your kind words and the six stars. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Interesting image of the Hawk Moth.
-Excellent imagery as
you describe this moth:
"on wings of moonlit lace"
-Descriptions and poetic
devices, like alliteration add to
the whole poem, and show us
what this moth is really like.
-Good luck in the contest, Tony.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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-Interesting image of the Hawk Moth.
-Excellent imagery as
you describe this moth:
"on wings of moonlit lace"
-Descriptions and poetic
devices, like alliteration add to
the whole poem, and show us
what this moth is really like.
-Good luck in the contest, Tony.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, Pam. I appreciate your kind words and comments about the various poetic devices. Best wishes, Tony
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You are quite welcome, Tony.
Comment from l.raven
HI Tony, you truly have a way with words my sweet friend...such beautiful words to describe a evening with the Hawk Moth...love your poem you...and the picture is just beautiful...so very nicely written...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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HI Tony, you truly have a way with words my sweet friend...such beautiful words to describe a evening with the Hawk Moth...love your poem you...and the picture is just beautiful...so very nicely written...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 24-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, Linda. I appreciate your kind words and the six stars. Best wishes, Tony
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you are so welcome Tony...you are one of the top writers on this site...love xxoo
Comment from estory
You weave a beautiful, ethereal image here, a fleeting moment of lace wings in the moonlight, hovering over the flowers, drinking the nectar. I loved all the alliterations in it, "hawk moths hover, tipsy wraiths that waft" was a great example. estory
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2017
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You weave a beautiful, ethereal image here, a fleeting moment of lace wings in the moonlight, hovering over the flowers, drinking the nectar. I loved all the alliterations in it, "hawk moths hover, tipsy wraiths that waft" was a great example. estory
Comment Written 24-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2017
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Very many thanks for your kind review, estory, and for noticing the phonetics. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Just2Write
A beautiful example of how to write effective Free Verse. With only 8 lines, it is short by Free Verse norms, and yet you have packed so much into it. Bemusement, and intrigue - you have told us that this is a creature of the night, and that it is a pursuer of romantic intrigue. (a whiff of pheromone)
The mechanics are many, but here's a few I see:
Alliteration: Hawk moths Hover / wraiths that waft / cup to cup / sultry sigh
subtle assonance: F in Flowers, a whiFF of PHeromone
K in Kiss the seQUined
Oh, and the phrasing - how beautifully done. It makes the reader see and feel the magic in the night air that is perfumed with jasmine. Makes me almost like the little moth (not. I hate moths)
This poem has it all, Tony. Not a thing to fix or change.
Heather Rose.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2017
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A beautiful example of how to write effective Free Verse. With only 8 lines, it is short by Free Verse norms, and yet you have packed so much into it. Bemusement, and intrigue - you have told us that this is a creature of the night, and that it is a pursuer of romantic intrigue. (a whiff of pheromone)
The mechanics are many, but here's a few I see:
Alliteration: Hawk moths Hover / wraiths that waft / cup to cup / sultry sigh
subtle assonance: F in Flowers, a whiFF of PHeromone
K in Kiss the seQUined
Oh, and the phrasing - how beautifully done. It makes the reader see and feel the magic in the night air that is perfumed with jasmine. Makes me almost like the little moth (not. I hate moths)
This poem has it all, Tony. Not a thing to fix or change.
Heather Rose.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2017
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It's always a pleasure to receive one of your reviews, Rose. Thank you so much for this one, noting the phonetics and phrasing and awarding six stars. All very much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
