Make Me Forget
a poem, for someone special...27 total reviews
Comment from TheWriteTeach
What a beautiful poem, Dawn, albeit sad. Your carefully chosen words express the sadness and loneliness very well. You made me 'feel' the emotions behind the words. It takes great talent to do that. Many poems, for me, are just words on paper, and have little to no affect on me.
I noticed the third stanza has a different rhyming scheme from the other stanzas. It is abab and the rest are abcb. I know everything you do has a reason behind it, and I only asked about this because it threw off the smooth flow of things when I read it. Don't get me wrong - I'm not criticizing . . . just asking.You know the saying - inquiring minds want to know, right? :o)
Wonderful writing. I think you did a great job touching the reader with this one.
Suzanne
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2017
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What a beautiful poem, Dawn, albeit sad. Your carefully chosen words express the sadness and loneliness very well. You made me 'feel' the emotions behind the words. It takes great talent to do that. Many poems, for me, are just words on paper, and have little to no affect on me.
I noticed the third stanza has a different rhyming scheme from the other stanzas. It is abab and the rest are abcb. I know everything you do has a reason behind it, and I only asked about this because it threw off the smooth flow of things when I read it. Don't get me wrong - I'm not criticizing . . . just asking.You know the saying - inquiring minds want to know, right? :o)
Wonderful writing. I think you did a great job touching the reader with this one.
Suzanne
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2017
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Would you believe you are the only reviewer to comment on this - yes, it was intentional, but I have changed it now anyway (to near-rhyme, not perfect, end rhyme).
THANK YOU!!! I am so stoked, my friend! Bless you!
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This is a soulful poem of longing, melancholy yet beautiful in its expression of love for someone in the past. The music was an excellent accompaniment I thought, Dawn. Giddy
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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This is a soulful poem of longing, melancholy yet beautiful in its expression of love for someone in the past. The music was an excellent accompaniment I thought, Dawn. Giddy
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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Wow - thank you!
Comment from dragonpoet
This shows almost an obsession with some lost love. You need to get over him so you can love and share with another. Maybe remembering him will help you know if you've found the real thing again, if this first one was the real thing.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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This shows almost an obsession with some lost love. You need to get over him so you can love and share with another. Maybe remembering him will help you know if you've found the real thing again, if this first one was the real thing.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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? It is a poem. ? Thanks.
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You're welcome.
dp
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a well composed poem of missing someone special and hoping to be able to forget, even temporarily. Your piece reflects the sadness of being in one place while a loved one is in another and the chasm in between. Rhyming and flow are excellent. Marilyn
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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This is a well composed poem of missing someone special and hoping to be able to forget, even temporarily. Your piece reflects the sadness of being in one place while a loved one is in another and the chasm in between. Rhyming and flow are excellent. Marilyn
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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Thanks so much, Marilyn!
Comment from DALLAS01
I remember that you once stated your poems don't necessarily apply to you, but I suspect there is hole in your heart left by someone from the past. Love the music, a wonderful choice that matches the emptiness reflected in your poem.
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I remember that you once stated your poems don't necessarily apply to you, but I suspect there is hole in your heart left by someone from the past. Love the music, a wonderful choice that matches the emptiness reflected in your poem.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
Comment from kathleenspalding
Excellent poem flows well, conveys a clear, sad message and creates a strong mood. Beautiful choice of artwork. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected. Great job!
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Excellent poem flows well, conveys a clear, sad message and creates a strong mood. Beautiful choice of artwork. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected. Great job!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
So, Morpheus, please grant I will forget him!
I've lived too long with anguish of regret...
I cannot find a future in tomorrow -
I beg you, God of Dreams, make me forget...
This is well presented poem, beautifully composed, albeit so sorrowful, pining for a love lost that is forever on the mind.
Only time can ease that emptiness.
Margaret
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So, Morpheus, please grant I will forget him!
I've lived too long with anguish of regret...
I cannot find a future in tomorrow -
I beg you, God of Dreams, make me forget...
This is well presented poem, beautifully composed, albeit so sorrowful, pining for a love lost that is forever on the mind.
Only time can ease that emptiness.
Margaret
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
Comment from gsuarez
You have struck a chord with this poem. Perhaps one will never forget but the challenge is to live, exist while still remembering.
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You have struck a chord with this poem. Perhaps one will never forget but the challenge is to live, exist while still remembering.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
Dawn, the emotional pouring here, says more to me than heartfelt feelings of what was once and what you long for now, it tells me the heart behind the pen, has such a caring, kind side.
We need these experiences in life to be able to write such brilliant poems as this....
No pain, no gain........see I can do rhymes if I try.
Absolutely loved it.
Mitchell
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Dawn, the emotional pouring here, says more to me than heartfelt feelings of what was once and what you long for now, it tells me the heart behind the pen, has such a caring, kind side.
We need these experiences in life to be able to write such brilliant poems as this....
No pain, no gain........see I can do rhymes if I try.
Absolutely loved it.
Mitchell
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
Comment from BOO ghost
Nice music. BOO likes. Sounds like somebody has a broken heart. Not sure that somebody special is, hope he is OK. Lovely presentation and batch of words that goes with it. Surely, this is appreciated. poetry is a good outlet to mange feelings and emotions. Sometimes time is a healer, the hurt gets less over time but it never goes away. Nice poem, here. BOO-tastic!
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Nice music. BOO likes. Sounds like somebody has a broken heart. Not sure that somebody special is, hope he is OK. Lovely presentation and batch of words that goes with it. Surely, this is appreciated. poetry is a good outlet to mange feelings and emotions. Sometimes time is a healer, the hurt gets less over time but it never goes away. Nice poem, here. BOO-tastic!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
